Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"It's weird that you like computers and stuff", Brian said. "I mean, it's cool I guess. You could do...like...apps or something." Barbie gave a quick terse smile then returned to typing. Brian continued. "I mean, you just seem too hot to be into that." Barbie paused and collected herself before replying, "I'm a bit busy. Unless you can help me figure out why my spreadsort is crashing in Gentoo, then I really don't have time."
"It's weird that you like com…
Nice display! I bet it looks crispy in the dark.
Nice display! I bet it looks …
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Susan and Becky's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it boots systemd! "My GNU/Linux laptop!" cries Skipper. "What the fuck did you do to it?"
The next morning, Barbie give…
Brian and Steve are totally unaware that the DVD Barbie is holding contains video footage of them having sex with the gym teacher under the bleachers.
Brian and Steve are totally u…
Barbie flashes her teacher a winsome smile with the hope that she'll be excused so she can figure out what is wrong with her legs.
Barbie flashes her teacher a …
In computer class, Barbie presents her game. "Wow, that's super lame," the teacher laughed. "But I'm holding my clipboard backward, so whatever." The teacher gave everyone lollipops and stickers while they played Barbie's lame game.
In computer class, Barbie pre…
"Hey, Skipper, make me some iced tea", says Barbie. "What? Make it yourself", says Skipper. "Sudo make me some iced tea", says Barbie. "Oh, okay"
"Hey, Skipper, make me some i…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. We kicked Cloudlock to the curb. We are now Bettercloud customers!
The next morning, Barbie give…
"Oh my God!", said Barbie. Do you guys *really* run Windows?
"Oh my God!", said Barbie. Do…
things i'm good at: not knowing when to stop
things i'm good at: not knowi…
At computer class, Barbie got to present her game. Ms. Smith is impressed by the polished result, and comments that Barbie might do well in this field if she wanted to. "Yes, I really did enjoy it! Maybe I'll do it as a job one day..." says Barbie.
At computer class, Barbie got…
"Barbie, did you look at the error?" "Fixed, I've pushed to git and deployed already", Barbie says, "It was a small thing, next time rtfm before asking me!"
"Barbie, did you look at the …
After class, Steven and Brian run into Barbie in the library. Not only is she hot as fuck, but she's skipped cheer practice to bang out some assembly code on three computers simultaneously. Steven brags, "Sup bitch. I just added 'Proficient in Microsoft Office' to my resume!" Not about to be one-upped, Brian pipes in, "Well, I've decided to pursue a career as a Social Media Expert!" Barbie shakes her head. "Morons."
After class, Steven and Brian…
??? ??? FEMALE PROGRAMMERS ARENT REAL
…
Let's high five, bitch
Let's high five, bitch
"Now Left 4 Dead 2 will run 20% faster and you'll easily be able to cut that smoker's tongue!" Said Barbie. "Thanks sis," replied Skipper "Steam for Linux is awesome!" "Remember to always carry a sharp mele weapon" Barbie laughed.
"Now Left 4 Dead 2 will run 2…
"I'm creating the design and implementing them" Barbie says, laughing.
"I'm creating the design and …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Dang it there was a virus in an attachment I opened. The ClamAV defintions on my mail server are old because the update requests matched a fail2ban regex and were autoblocked." "I told you not to roll your own", said Skipper. "True," said Barbie. "Why are you even using Windows," Skipper asked. "True," said Barbie and halted the Windows virtual machine she was using before restoring the disk image to an earlier snapshot. "And don't get me started on opening unsigned attachments. You're getting lazy with your security hygiene," continued Skipper. "Screw thiiiiis," bemoaned Barbie.
Barbie tries to email her des…
We showed that bitch. The nude we stole off Skipper's phone are all over 4chan and the top post on /r/gonewild. She's ruined!
We showed that bitch. The nu…
"Someone appears to have submitted their assignment in bytecode," the instructor informed the class. "I'm not grading this shit."
"Someone appears to have subm…
"BARBIE GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!"
"BARBIE GET THE HELL OUT OF H…
While you were busy minoring in gender studies and singing a capella at Sarah Lawrence, I was gaining root access to NSA servers.
While you were busy minoring …
"This isn't the real game, it's just the design document." Barbie explained. "A design document is a guide we write to help us make the game. It describes how the game will look and, more importantly, how it will work."
"This isn't the real game, it…
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