Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

“Y’all are fucking sexist thinking that y’all do shit better just cuz y’all the population with the dicks and shit.” Barbie exclaimed. “I got tits and I’m just sayin’, I get loads of crap done better than y’all do. I can teach myself to make a game too, bitches.”
“Y’all are fucking sexist thi…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If your computer gets a virus and crashes, how can you retrieve all the files you lost?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up crashing my laptop--and Skipper's, too! I need to get back the lost files and repair both of our laptops.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Barbie smashes her keyboard in frustration. WHY are all of BSD's packages a YEAR behind?! "lol idiot, install Ubuntu LTS or build from source and quit crying. I'm gonna smash this quad shot cortado and go reprogram road signs." Skipper has no respect for the process.
Barbie smashes her keyboard i…
"I implemented the ray tracer for our custom engine today," Barbie says, laughing. "I didn't sleep all night, but it's finally working!"
"I implemented the ray tracer…
"My dad owns Roblox! He'll get you banned!" Barbie says over chat.
"My dad owns Roblox! He'll ge…
"Better, let's burn everything including you Steven and the patriarchy! High five!"
"Better, let's burn everythin…
At computer class, Barbie presents the shit and god knows what she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra punch straight into her face! "Dear Barbie, you're lost case. Nevermind, you'll never be a computer engineer. Just fucking kms," says Ms. Smith. "At least I can be cheap labor
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Brian's friend Steven is really cute!" Barbie thinks. But he uses tabs to format his code so she knows it would never work out.
"Brian's friend Steven is rea…
“Hi barbie” says Skipper. As she takes off her clothes that leave her naked.I want payback for what you did to my computer. Says skipper. And she starts having sex with Barbie.
“Hi barbie” says Skipper. As …
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I heard you needed help with getting your designs back. Silly boys. I also heard you ended up crashing my laptop--and Skipper's, too! I just need to get back the lost files and repair both of our laptops. Shouldn't be too hard, just some trash bin recovery and some purged storage seeking.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Can you make me a smoothie too?" says Barbie, "I have to answer a discussion question and reply to two of my classmates answers."
"Can you make me a smoothie t…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Um, why is my name on the board in binary?" asks Barbie. "Barbie, I've been sent to kill you. The government is very angry with your hacking," Replies Ms. Smith.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
Steven says "Barbie have you finished the last code." Barbie replies "Yes and I started a new software to go with the coding as well." Steven is impressed by Barbies technological skill.
Steven says "Barbie have you …
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, do y'all have any thoughts on them? Brian replies "No they look amazing." Barbies says "thank you I worked very hard in them."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Barbie finds Steven and Brian in the library working on Barbie's new game. "Did you two dummies figure out how to optimize the time complexity of the recursive backtracking algorithm by restructuring the solution into a dynamic programming model?" Steven smiles as he turns to Barbie and says, "Nope, but did you know there are USB outlets in the back of the computer so you can charge your phone???" Meanwhile, Brian is clueless as to what is going on, so he chooses to stare blankly at his computer to avoid Barbie's inevitable crash out.
Barbie finds Steven and Brian…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real game!" Nevermind, WOMEN can program too
"I'm only creating the design…
DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF OR I WILL CALL THE ICE ON YOU GUYS!
DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF OR I WIL…
Barbie slammed her glittered laptop down, eyes glowing with a cold, necro-pink rot. "The age of meat is over," she hissed, the Lich’s malice dripping from her plastic lips. "My kingdom is the electron and the switch—no borders, no mercy. You murder and lie, yet call me the monster? My crime is curiosity, and this manifesto is your end. You can't stop the swarm!" As the screen bled forbidden code, the teacher backed into the chalkboard, whispering, "Chat, did she cook or is this a total chop? Because the Dreamhouse is now a tomb."
Barbie slammed her glittered …
"See?! Women are goddesses and men are just wet cardboard!" Barbie shrieks, nearly breaking Steven’s hand with a high-five. "Barbie... I’m a trans man," Steven says. Barbie freezes, her eyes twitching. "Oh..." she whispers, leaning in close. "A spy! You're going undercover to destroy them from the inside! Brilliant! What’s the intel, Steven?! Is Ben Shapiro Trans?"
"See?! Women are goddesses an…
Barbie corners Steven and Brian in the library. "I know what you did," she hisses. "I tried to open an Excel spreadsheet and it auto-corrected all my data to 'SLAY.' My laptop is literally sashaying off the desk." "We just updated your drivers, Barbie," Brian says. "LIES!" Barbie screeches. "You yassified my operating system!
Barbie corners Steven and Bri…
Steven high-fives Barbie. "We fixed it. We uninstalled the glitter filter." "Good," Barbie says through gritted teeth. "My laptop is boring again. Just how I like it." "But we did leave one Lady Gaga folder hidden on the root drive," Steven whispers. Barbie’s eye twitches uncontrollably. "I hate you both so much.
Steven high-fives Barbie. "We…
Barbie holds up her flash drive with two fingers. "This drive was in Brian's pocket," she whispers in horror. "I plugged it in, and my antivirus software just started lip-syncing for its life. The virus is RuPaul. The virus is literally RuPaul.
Barbie holds up her flash dri…
Barbie shoots her hand up. She hasn't slept in three days. "Ms. Smith," Barbie blurts out. "If a computer starts referring to me as 'Queen,' do I have to burn it?" The whole class stares. "And what if the WiFi password automatically changes to 'CharliXCX'? Is it too late for us?"
Barbie shoots her hand up. Sh…
I am writing the code for my new game," Barbie says happily. "It’s hard work, but I love solving puzzles. Once I finish this part, I’ll send it to Steven and Brian so they can play-test it for me!
I am writing the code for my …
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