Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

eddie has shit taste in music lol
eddie has shit taste in music…
Nice
Nice
leah is too woman
leah is too woman
Philip said I was too much of a women to get a certain internship so I'm going to drown my sorrows in ice cream.
Philip said I was too much of…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I guess I can be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
What the fuck did you just fu…
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! That girl was hot. She's my cousin! She is? Yes, we're all cousins. Right. You're right. At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do? Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside The Hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! I wonder where they were. I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. Couple of Hive Harrys. Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! Oh, my! I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.
According to all known laws o…
"STOP LOOKING AT MY NUDES BARBIE!! JESUS!!!1!!11"
"STOP LOOKING AT MY NUDES BAR…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "The place I really belong is the kitchen!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"You might try taking this to a repair fair with the Philly Fixers Guild," offers Steven. "Huh? what is that?" asks Barbie. "You can bring in something that's broken and all these volunteer fixers are there to help you fix it" says Steven. "Yea, those repair fairs are fun," says Brian.
"You might try taking this to…
"I'd like to make something, but I don't know where to start," Barbie says, laughing. "Maybe I should go to the Philly Maker Faire!"
"I'd like to make something, …
"Is this a Dragonball character?" asks Skipper. " Are you fucking dumb? " Barbie says, laughing, " That's a dog with two bows. Now shut up, I'm watching Naruto. "
"Is this a Dragonball charact…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Barbie. "Fantastic!" says Steven. "And her other files, as well?" "I've got everything," says Barbie. "Now let's retrieve the files from your hard drive. Both laptops will be as good as new in no time!"
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
"First, I am creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "Then, when I write the code, I can turn it into a real game!"
"First, I am creating the des…
I stood outside in the rain for us. I tried to work out all of the pain for us. I sat alone and took the blame for us. My mind has torn and gone insane for us.
I stood outside in the rain f…
Every day there's a constant reminder of all the pleasures we shared together. Love is not just a passing word; it's a state of heart that goes on forever.
Every day there's a constant …
But those days are gone now, changed like a leaf on a tree; blown away forever into the cool autumn breeze. The snow has now fallen, and I know where I stand; all of my childhood memories left lying in the sand.
But those days are gone now, …
Fuck Iran!
Fuck Iran!
"KILL -9" sobbed Barbie. "Won't somebody please think of the children!?"
"KILL -9" sobbed Barbie. "Won…
"The sky above the port was the color of television tuned to a dead channel," said Barbie.
"The sky above the port was t…
Barbie has tried to install nvidia drivers again. "Why doesn't wayland have better support for this?" complains barbie. "I should've got AMD." "Just use Noveau," suggests skipper. "I promise it'll be easier"
Barbie has tried to install n…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "And her other files, as well?" "I've got everything," says Steven. "Now let's retrieve the files from your hard drive. Both laptops will be as good as new in no time!"
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
Barbie asks, "What is feminist hacking?" And Prof. says "an effort to critically analyze the gendering of techno-labor, and cultivate alternative perspectives that make visible the infrastructural relations of technology."
Barbie asks, "What is feminis…
Barbie gives Steven a pity high five. Steven still thinks high fives are cool. Steven is in Sales.
Barbie gives Steven a pity hi…
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