Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Skipper is not sure what to think of the infantile design the boys sent, do they really thinks that is what girls like? No wonder their penisses are never used for anything fun.
Skipper is not sure what to t…
My degree in entertainment technology means I know as much about tech as guys with computer science degrees! Thanks, Jesse Schell!
My degree in entertainment te…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" groans Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven, as he tries, hopelessly to plug a hard drive into the back of a monitor. "That should keep him occupied for a while while I implement my plans to SMASH THE PATRIARCHY.", she thinks to herself.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie came into the office today showing off her recent installation of Ubuntu. "Look," she said, "I installed Linux!" Ms. Smith cracked a toothy smile and retorted "I'd just like to interject for moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX."
Barbie came into the office t…
"Hey, Barbie," said Steven, "What'd you do this weekend?" "I went to Sex Dwarf, Philly's New Wave Clubhouse with DJ Robert Drake, and it was TOTALLY AWESOME!" "Really? I'm sorry I missed it," said Steven. "Don't worry," Barbie said, "you can go with me next time on December 12th! High-five!"
"Hey, Barbie," said Steven, "…
"Do you want some iced tea?" asks Skipper. Barbie smirks and nods her head no and frustratingly states, "I have to finish reverting these edits on the [[men's rights]] Wikipedia article. Damn MRA's are at it again adding uncited sexist BS! I need to hurry, I'm going to be late for work.." Skipper nods understandably, "We have some Club-Mate in the fridge if you need an extra pick me up to get through the day.."
"Do you want some iced tea?" …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but she notices her inbox has hundreds of new emails. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie starts reading through the emails and feels her heart sink. "Looks like someone thought your tweet was about ethics in game journalism," says Skipper. "I'll make you a margarita. You'll need it."
Barbie tries to email her des…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but notices that Skippers virus protection is out of date. Before going any further, she updates the software and restarts the computer. "Thanks Sis," says Skipper. "You really saved me a lot of time by helping me with that." Barbie smiles, "No problem. It's always important to make sure you're protected from viruses before you use a flash drive!" She inserted her drive into the port and emailed her designs to her friend.
Barbie tries to email her des…
HAMG LOL PUPPIEZ OMGGG! WHY IS MY HAIR THREE COLORS WHAT THE SHIZZZ!?!?!
HAMG LOL PUPPIEZ OMGGG! WHY I…
"Brian and I will just slow things down if we try to help," says Steven. "Good point," says Barbie. "Steven, can you go hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer? I'll keep working on this." "Sure!" says Steven.
"Brian and I will just slow t…
"I'm telling you, Steven" exclaims Barbie, "Rawhide better than released versions, as you get more fixes!" "Great!" says Steven. "I'm going to update my production systems to this image you created last night with livecd-creator."
"I'm telling you, Steven" exc…
"Dick pics!" Skipper wailed, and broke the laptop monitor in two against her forehead. "If I wanted to see hairy shrimp, I'd go throw the dog's hair clippings at a Red Lobster kitchen! Why do they even think this is enticing?!" "I'm glad I keep kosher," Barbie answered, looking faintly nauseated. "That image, Skip." "It was necessary!"
"Dick pics!" Skipper wailed, …
Barbie installed leftie Dvorak on one laptop and rightie Dvorak on the other laptop, then plugged in a three-way monitor splitter. "This way I can maintain visual efficiency while still dicking around," she told two strangers who didn't care.
Barbie installed leftie Dvora…
"Xilinx is cheaper than Altera, and we've already got the tooling!" yelled Skipper. "You are done with procurement forever!"
"Xilinx is cheaper than Alter…
Don't touch me shitty boo boo, you totally bombed the rr!
Don't touch me shitty boo boo…
"Brian and I can help," offers Steven. "No thanks Seven, despite gender stereotyping of women being incompetent and reliant on men, and the 'dumb blond' stereotype, I am a self sufficient woman who can actually figure out things for myself!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you and the toy company that designs this crap stop being so sexist?" "Sure!" says Steven. "Great!" replies Barbie. "I'm sick and tired of the media portrayal of women as helpless, flawless people who only exist to obey men's ever command and to look pretty."
"Brian and I can help," offer…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper types the word "kittens," and it doesn't autocorrect to "mittens." "You fixed Microsoft Word!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! You fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
Today we're learning binary to be able to communicate with our singular(ity) overlord.
Today we're learning binary t…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into THE KILLER DRONE ROBOT THAT THE PATRIARCHY DEMANDS"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
One Barbie with 2 laptops, a large-format monitor, and a venti from Starbucks can do the work of two men! Amazing!
One Barbie with 2 laptops, a …
"Ok guys, proper #OPSEC requires we do not leave traces of our drug purchases. Do you have the CD I gave you?" says Barbie."Yes, but why do we need a CD to buy drugs?" asks Steve. "Well Steve, the NSA is obviously interested in whether you get high or not. Therefore all your illegal doings should be conducted in a secure OS. I recommend TAILS and that's what on the CD!"
"Ok guys, proper #OPSEC requi…
Where does this get shared to?
Where does this get shared to?
"I'm discussing the design ideas online with Steven and Brian," Barbie says, smiling. "We want to think through the features we might need before we start coding!"
"I'm discussing the design id…
"I have always wanted to learn how to do this," says Steven, "can you help me?" - "Sure!" says Barbie. "You see that plug in the back? That's it, there you go!"
"I have always wanted to lear…
"Do you want some iced tea?" "NO. I'm trying to finish my edits on this Wikipedia article about Grace Hopper before I head off to work...SHHHH!!"
"Do you want some iced tea?" …
more (170 pages)