Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Today we're learning binary to be able to communicate with our singular(ity) overlord.
Today we're learning binary t…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into THE KILLER DRONE ROBOT THAT THE PATRIARCHY DEMANDS"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
One Barbie with 2 laptops, a large-format monitor, and a venti from Starbucks can do the work of two men! Amazing!
One Barbie with 2 laptops, a …
"Ok guys, proper #OPSEC requires we do not leave traces of our drug purchases. Do you have the CD I gave you?" says Barbie."Yes, but why do we need a CD to buy drugs?" asks Steve. "Well Steve, the NSA is obviously interested in whether you get high or not. Therefore all your illegal doings should be conducted in a secure OS. I recommend TAILS and that's what on the CD!"
"Ok guys, proper #OPSEC requi…
Where does this get shared to?
Where does this get shared to?
"I'm discussing the design ideas online with Steven and Brian," Barbie says, smiling. "We want to think through the features we might need before we start coding!"
"I'm discussing the design id…
"I have always wanted to learn how to do this," says Steven, "can you help me?" - "Sure!" says Barbie. "You see that plug in the back? That's it, there you go!"
"I have always wanted to lear…
"Do you want some iced tea?" "NO. I'm trying to finish my edits on this Wikipedia article about Grace Hopper before I head off to work...SHHHH!!"
"Do you want some iced tea?" …
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I reviewed your code and I have some feedback."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I can't believe I have to look up regex syntax again," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to test it when I'm done!"
"I can't believe I have to lo…
Programming can be very difficult. But in life, you must choose the difficult things you will struggle with, and which you don't. I have chosen the difficult task of creating cute robots that can self-assemble into acrobatic formations, recite French poetry, and perform novel adaptations of classic literature. I can't even remember the stupid things that troubled me before. In programming, we have a term for those kinds of things. We call them "trivial".
Programming can be very diffi…
I am going to do this on my own!
I am going to do this on my o…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie, "Was Ken using this computer? He is always surfing porn sites full of malware." Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "At least this time it's just a *computer* virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
Who the fuck wrote the product criterias and coded this shit? If this got tested professionally, it would be a failure even before release.
Who the fuck wrote the produc…
"Yes, it is really cool." Barbie says. "Would you like to beta test it when it's done?"
"Yes, it is really cool." Bar…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper caresses Barbie's neck gently. She is so thankful that Barbie saved the day, how could she ever repay her?
The next morning, Barbie give…
It's 7:00 AM and already Barbie is studying when Skipper gets up. "Good morning Skipper! I would have breakfast with you but I watch CBTnuggets while I'm eating. I have to study constantly, since I get a new certification every month! Have you considered going for your RHCE? Linux admins are in high demand right now, I'm thinking of doing that after I finish my CCNASec and my CISSP."
It's 7:00 AM and already Barb…
Barbie has not slept in thirty-eight hours because the Cloud version of Photosnop is an unstable, clunky, proprietary piece of excrement, and destroyed her vector work no less than five times. She kludged this together in GIMP, and the supervisor will never know. Cloud subscriptions can go die in a fire.
Barbie has not slept in thirt…
Look guys. You gotta close your shits and dicks tags.
Look guys. You gotta close yo…
I engineered this egg to update my Facebook status with my body temperature. Next, I'm planning to use this temperature data to pinpoint my fertility cycle and send private messages to eligible bachelors when I am fertile.
I engineered this egg to upda…
"... and then afterwards, I fry up their brain and serve it in one of my special Barbie tubs."
"... and then afterwards, I f…
Who wrote the product criterias for this shit? If this got tested by a professional, it would be classed as a failure even before release!
Who wrote the product criteri…
Brian, this is a CD. This Macbook pro doesn't have an optical drive, Einstein.
Brian, this is a CD. This Mac…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "It's only an idea right now," Barbie says, laughing, "I have to build the game first!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I thought this was Algorithms 101. Why are you projecting my name in binary?" Barbie asks, "And why are you wearing a labcoat?" "Why are you such a perceptive little shit?" Replies Ms. Smith.
"I thought this was Algorit…
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