Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Wait a minute," says Barbie, "you saved all this Pokemon porn as a joke, right? You aren't actually turned on by it, are you?" In anger, Skipper hits her with a pillow. She then smiles weakly in an attempt to play it off as a joke.
"Wait a minute," says Barbie,…
"Take a last look at this garbage laptop, Skipper!", says Barbie. "It's never been anything other than an anti-life surveillance device designed to keep you alientated and atomized in phony, mediated relationships as the natural world circled the drain." "Thank you!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
"Take a last look at this gar…
"Liberation rests on the construction of the consciousness," says Skipper, "the imaginative apprehension, of oppression, and so of possibility."
"Liberation rests on the cons…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven and Brian to come over so we can have an awesome video game battle!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Barbie translates the binary on the board and realizes it spells "Barbie." Her teacher's unblinking stare is making her really uncomfortable.
Barbie translates the binary …
"Social reality is lived social relations, our most important political construction, a world-changing fiction. The international women's movements have constructed 'women's experience', as well as uncovered or discovered this crucial collective object. This experience is a fiction and fact of the most crucial, political kind." says Barbie happily.
"Social reality is lived soci…
"I took my back-of-the-napkin sketch to a working prototype before I ate breakfast," Barbie says, laughing. "And they say designers with full stack developer doesn't exist!"
"I took my back-of-the-napkin…
"I'm only creating the design ideas so far," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need to do a lot more planning and spec work before I code this bad boy!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Barbie. "Fantastic!" says Steven. "And her other files, as well?" "I've got everything," says Barbie. "Now let's look through the source of the virus to see what we can learn about the attackers."
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
"WTF?" exclaims Barbie. "International Men's Day? Haven't the last 2000 years been International Men's Days?"
"WTF?" exclaims Barbie. "Inte…
"A cyborg is a cybernetic organism," Barbie says, laughing, "a hybrid of machine and organism, a creature of social reality as well as a creature of fiction."
"A cyborg is a cybernetic org…
"Ugh, every time I switch between python and bash, I forget that when you assign a variable in bash you can't have a space like in python (ie, x=1 != x = 1 in bash)," Barbie complained. "I know!" agreed Brain. Barbie continued, "And the error message for this in bash is so unclear! Stupid bash."
"Ugh, every time I switch bet…
I designed and wrote to code for the whole game! It took a lot of work and I had fun while doing it. I am the project leader for my group and class so I helped others work on their games too.
I designed and wrote to code …
"Good news, Barbie," says Steven. "Your software patent came through! Let's start our own company and license it for a billion dollars! High five!"
"Good news, Barbie," says Ste…
"I'm only creating the design ideas right now," Barbie says, laughing. "It's important to have very clear requirements before you ever start coding!"
"I'm only creating the design…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Why are you dressed as a biology teacher?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"It's a dude thing," says the guy. "I say, 'high five' and you clap my hand, like this." "But why?" says Barbie. "I don't know. It's some kind of tribal bonding thing. Dudes can make physical contact without anyone thinking they want to pork each other up the butthole." "Really?" says Barbie. "Do guys want to do that?" "Sometimes. And it hurts like fuck, I can tell you."
"It's a dude thing," says the…
The boys are waiting at CS class, snickering, waiting to hear about her panicked discovery of the virus. Of course, Barbie has anti-malware software and can't be p0wned by some script kiddie. Plus, the boys already opened her spear-phishing email. She can't wait until they check on their homework!
The boys are waiting at CS cl…
"I'm only creating the design ideas, now," Barbie says, laughing. "Once I am done, I'll need it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith asks which part she played. Barbie's terrific design skills have not made a great impression. So you haven't done any execution of the ideas? You missed the point of this class said Ms. Smith disappointed. I'm afraid that I cannot let you pass this class.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Ken cried to Barbie, "Dad found my chat logs and has grounded me for the conversations I've been having with my boyfriend!" "No worries," said Barbie, "Here's a copy of his search history, tell him you'll show it to mom if he doesn't back off."
Ken cried to Barbie, "Dad fou…
"Steven, why do you play Skyrim on a PS3?" asks Brian. "You can't get mods there! It's better on a PC." "PC MASTER RACE!" yells Barbie, giving Brian a high-five.
"Steven, why do you play Sk…
"Goddamn Gawker," Barbie muttered after reading their review of her game, suddenly sympathetic to GamerGate.
"Goddamn Gawker," Barbie mutt…
I said no. I think I said your name. Forget him, she said. Midge wants us dead. They'll assume we crossed them. Get on the phone and check our credit. Our credit was gone. They denied that either of us had ever had an account. Haul ass, Skipper said. We ran. Out a service door, into Tokyo traffic, and down into Shinjuku. That was when I understood for the first time the real extent of Midge's reach.
I said no. I think I sai…
"We'd all work better if I put on some Burzum or Meshuggah," said Barbie. "Good thing I ripped their latest albums otherwise we'd be stuck with Steve's Coldplay setlist again." Steve's tear rolled into his latté as he kept quiet.
"We'd all work better if I pu…
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