Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"I really want to type up my notes like everyone else, but I didn't realize 'opening the laptop' wasn't going to be covered on day one of the syllabus."
"I really want to type up my …
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
This is our world now... the …
"So, what Wiki-solution would you guys recommend?" Barbie asks. "It needs to be super userfriendly." "MediaWiki?" says Steven. "Git and Markdown plus Jekyll" counters James. "You guys are jackasses" laughs Barbie.
"So, what Wiki-solution would…
"Steven, can you hook Skipper's infected hard drive up to the library's computer?" asks Barbie. "Sure!" says Steven. Listening nearby, the librarian calls campus security.
"Steven, can you hook Skipper…
Hey pigs! Why don't you two go wax each other's testicles while I hammer this algorithm out, mm'kay? And WTF are you guys looking at exactly anyway? Is there beer over there or something?
Hey pigs! Why don't you two g…
"Hm," said Barbie, "I've lost a machine... literally LOST. It responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is."
"Hm," said Barbie, "I've lost…
"I took down the entire grid!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "Did you take out the dams too?" "I got everything," says Steven. "Now these pathetic technophiles can stop wallowing in their transhumanist cyber-delusions!"
"I took down the entire grid!…
After class, Barbie meets with two guys in the library. "Hi, two guys," says Barbie. I'm wearing glasses to look more intelligent, but I'm just a plastic blond bimbo." "This is news...?" says the guy in the lilac shirt. "I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up landing them on a comet 300 million miles away, crashing my laptop, burning out Skipper's dildo and electrocuting the dog." "If you really want a label, 'idiot savant' might be more appropriate," says the other dude.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Just ask /b for help," Steve recommended to Barbie's eternal regret.
"Just ask /b for help," Steve…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "If you spent a quarter of the time coding that you spend practising catalogue poses I wouldn't have to rescue this project. Again." "Ha!" says Brian, "I don't understand."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"High five. The seniors loved it. We have a great team. Um, where's Brian?" asks Steve. "With Luz, Ms. Lopez's mom, she's encouraging him to learn programming by sharing her story as a developer." "Cool." "She certainly is."
"High five. The seniors loved…
Barbie looked out in dismay. If this book had been well written, Skipper could have been a Computer Engineer instead of a web-cam stripper.
Barbie looked out in dismay. …
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "You better! All my pornography's on there." Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"Noooo, why are you looking at my Tumblr?" shrieks Skipper. "I've got private stuff there, and I told you not to look!" "I didn't look on purpose!" says Barbie. "You left yourself logged in on my laptop! All you do is reblog gifs of Benedict Cumberbatch anyway."
"Noooo, why are you lookin…
"This banana is delicious," says Skipper. "Do you want one?" "No, I'm too busy defending my code decisions to a bunch of gamergate assholes," Barbie says, facepalming.
"This banana is delicious," s…
“Barbie, you can use this pink laptop since it matches your shirt.” says Steven. “Um …… BOY BYE! Whateveeeeer! YOU seem to like it more.” says Barbie. “Oooooo Barbie made a funny!” says Skipper. “Let me boot up Kali Linux. After all, you guys know that I like to be anonymous on public machines. You boys can’t handle this. Muah!” Says Barbie.
“Barbie, you can use this pin…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "No thanks!" says Barbie. "It's an easy fix that I've done many times!" "Really?" asks Steven. "Could you check my computer next? I think I deleted the internet."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Skipper laughed at Barbie's terrible attempt at an Illustrator-created cartoon. "It's so bad I could put it into the sink's waste disposal!" So she did.
Skipper laughed at Barbie's t…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "Yeah, right." Skipper replies as she pushes Barbie into oncoming traffic. "How completely lame is my sister?" sighs Skipper "Now I will have to try to fix this myself."
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "Thanks for teaching me how to recover after a computer crash!" "You're welcome," says Steven. "Maybe sometime you could show me how you made that awesome computer game?"
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
"Oh my gosh, Skipper! What ARE you doing?" cried Barbie. "I just love self-installed Ubuntu so much I thought I'd hug my computer!" laughed Skipper. "Ha! You're such a geek, Skippy." said Barbie. Skipper just gave her a hard stare in return.
"Oh my gosh, Skipper! What AR…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "How about you unplug that Nintendo, put in this Linux boot disk, and shut the fuck up," says Barbie.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed and coded. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I love being a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
At the heart of darkness, the still center, the glitch systems shred the dark with whirlwinds of light, translucent razors spinning away from us; we hang in the center of a silent slow-motion explosion, ice fragments falling away forever, and Barbie's voice comes in across lighty ears of electronic void illusion - ‘Bum the bitch down. I can’t hold the thing back.' The Russian program, rising through towers of data, blotting out the playroom colors. And I plug Barbie's homemade command package into the center of Midge's cold heart. We’ve done it.
At the heart of darkness, the…
"I'll make it up" says Barbie. "How?" asks Skipper. "I'll Hack the Gibson."
"I'll make it up" says Barbie…
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