Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Neither one of you boys is a 1337 |-|4><0r. Now fuck off, both of you.
Neither one of you boys is a …
You want me to fix this!? Fuck the coffee, I need a case of Doritos flavored Mountain Dew and a case of Hot Pockets. Otherwise I'm rm -rf / this bastard.
You want me to fix this!? Fuc…
"I'm in!" exclaimed Barbie, high-fiving her assistant. "The CIA won't know what hit them."
"I'm in!" exclaimed Barbie, h…
"Wait, why am I the only one at the back?"
"Wait, why am I the only one …
Oh no! I got yoghurt on the keyboard!
Oh no! I got yoghurt on the k…
"Try to disconnect my monitor again, Steve, and I will gut you with this DVD! Your attempts to sabotage my project are as lame as your coding." said Barbie. "How long do I have to use this pink laptop?" complained Brian. "As long as you keep making sexist comments about my IO routines." growled Barbie.
"Try to disconnect my monitor…
"Why the fuck is the projecter pointed 90 degrees from the students?" wondered Barbie.
"Why the fuck is the projecte…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Flake off Steven or I'll cut you"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie decides to see what her little sister Skipper is up to, and heads to her room. As she walks in without knocking (because this Barbies house and she does whatever the fuck she wants), Skipper immediately throws herself at the laptop, trying to block the contents on the screen from Barbies sight. But it is too late. Barbie has already seen the multiple tabs of hardcore furry porn that Skipper has open. "Sweet merciful Christ!" Barbie exclaims. "Skipper! What on earth are you looking at?!" "Don't you judge me!" Skipper shouts back. "This is who I am! Fur for Life!" As she speaks, the video she was watching featuring two bear dudes tag-teaming a zebra girl resumes playing, and soon the house is filled with the sounds of hot, wet, anthropomorphic animal sex. Barbie decides that she is too sober to deal with this shit right now and leaves for class.
Barbie decides to see what he…
"Barbie, we can't pirate that software -- it's wrong." said Steven. "Listen you punkass, they said not to 'copy that floppy' and said nothing about CD-ROMs... LOL amirite?", trolled Barbie.
"Barbie, we can't pirate that…
OMG! LOL! WTF you guys are planning. This piece of shit you have implemented with SOAP is so 90s. Let me implement proper front-end with Node.JS and back-end with JSON-services and killer game will be ready within day!
OMG! LOL! WTF you guys are pl…
"All the participations for the brand actions embedded in this mission are expired!" Barbie cried. "Why the fuck was the duration set to 14 days?"
"All the participations for t…
"Ours is a cruel, godless universe whose only law is the inevitability of entropy. Let march forward into nothingness together," Skipper intoned flatly, eyes focused on nothing in particular. "Oh God, Skipper, did Menard's PK get to you, too?" sobbed Barbie.
"Ours is a cruel, godless uni…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie tries to reboot the computer herself but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Ours is a cruel, godless universe whose only law is the inevitability of entropy. Let march forward into nothingness together," Skipper intoned flatly, eyes focused on nothing in particular "Oh God, Skipper, did Menard's PK get to you, too?" sobbed Barbie.
"Ours is a cruel, godless uni…
"No, Steve, I do not want to see your donkey video again."
"No, Steve, I do not want to …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, and Steven replies back. "I've discussed these logos with the team and they're not quite what we wanted. We want it to look like a startup logo. I asked the team for colors we came up with orange, lime green, and magenta. Can't wait to see what you come up with next, Barbie! I know you can give us a logo that everyone likes."
Barbie tries to email her des…
I love collaborating with other programmers to make something awesome!
I love collaborating with oth…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Technically, it's 'our' game" Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven's and Brian's name on it in order to avoid legal issues..."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Susan's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
Anything challenge cannot figure out, I will research and engineer the best solution.
Anything challenge cannot fig…
"Who's doing the illustration?" Barbie, who's intently step-debugging, looks up bleary-eyed "oh Paulo is", "he's so talented!" exclaimed Skipper. Barbie grimaced and muttered "yeah, luckily I wrote the shell script to batch convert all of his files — designers…" and got back to inspecting her breakpoint
"Who's doing the illustration…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to finish my designs, but Skipper's laptop crashed! I'm overloaded, would you please help me getting her homework back?"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Barbie, Steven, and Brian watch as the FBI barges into the library and arrests an indistinguishable Bay Area libertarian. "They'll never find out I'm the real DPR," Barbie thinks, inwardly laughing.
Barbie, Steven, and Brian wat…
"Oh, you did your analysis in SPSS," thought Grad Student Barbie, whispering "n00b" under her breath. Then she fired up R.
"Oh, you did your analysis in…
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