Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Its a complex fluid simulation. Lets use Navier Stokes" says Barbie.
"Its a complex fluid simulati…
"Man, being an assassin is even easier than I thought."
"Man, being an assassin is ev…
This paleo-vegan yoghurt is just the thing I need to get my creative juices flowing. I'll have this code pushed to the cloud in no time.
This paleo-vegan yoghurt is j…
"The whole point was to find a way to practice nuclear war without destroying ourselves. To get the computers to learn from mistakes we couldn't afford to make. Except, I never could get Joshua to learn the most important lesson...."
"The whole point was to find …
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Are you joking?," asks Barbie. "I have a PhD in computing. I think I can fix this virus on my own." "Sorry," mumbles Steven. "I'm just bored because Brian is hogging my pink laptop."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"We took a second sip from a cup we made of bones. The first it was a ruse, a trick so aptly grown," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "The truth is that our youth was a carpet laid with stones. Get the mother fucker on the phone!"
"We took a second sip from a …
Look guys, I've used the Internet and researched myself to find out what I might have done wrong. You won't believe it but I've fixed it myself and I'm only here to prove I don't need your help.
Look guys, I've used the Inte…
"Mrs Smith?" asks Barbie. "Yes Barbie" replies Mrs Smith. ... "WHAT IN COCKING HELL IS UP WITH MY FUCKING LEGS?" exclaims Barbie.
"Mrs Smith?" asks Barbie. "Ye…
Neither one of you boys is a 1337 |-|4><0r. Now fuck off, both of you.
Neither one of you boys is a …
You want me to fix this!? Fuck the coffee, I need a case of Doritos flavored Mountain Dew and a case of Hot Pockets. Otherwise I'm rm -rf / this bastard.
You want me to fix this!? Fuc…
"I'm in!" exclaimed Barbie, high-fiving her assistant. "The CIA won't know what hit them."
"I'm in!" exclaimed Barbie, h…
"Wait, why am I the only one at the back?"
"Wait, why am I the only one …
Oh no! I got yoghurt on the keyboard!
Oh no! I got yoghurt on the k…
"Try to disconnect my monitor again, Steve, and I will gut you with this DVD! Your attempts to sabotage my project are as lame as your coding." said Barbie. "How long do I have to use this pink laptop?" complained Brian. "As long as you keep making sexist comments about my IO routines." growled Barbie.
"Try to disconnect my monitor…
"Why the fuck is the projecter pointed 90 degrees from the students?" wondered Barbie.
"Why the fuck is the projecte…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Flake off Steven or I'll cut you"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie decides to see what her little sister Skipper is up to, and heads to her room. As she walks in without knocking (because this Barbies house and she does whatever the fuck she wants), Skipper immediately throws herself at the laptop, trying to block the contents on the screen from Barbies sight. But it is too late. Barbie has already seen the multiple tabs of hardcore furry porn that Skipper has open. "Sweet merciful Christ!" Barbie exclaims. "Skipper! What on earth are you looking at?!" "Don't you judge me!" Skipper shouts back. "This is who I am! Fur for Life!" As she speaks, the video she was watching featuring two bear dudes tag-teaming a zebra girl resumes playing, and soon the house is filled with the sounds of hot, wet, anthropomorphic animal sex. Barbie decides that she is too sober to deal with this shit right now and leaves for class.
Barbie decides to see what he…
"Barbie, we can't pirate that software -- it's wrong." said Steven. "Listen you punkass, they said not to 'copy that floppy' and said nothing about CD-ROMs... LOL amirite?", trolled Barbie.
"Barbie, we can't pirate that…
OMG! LOL! WTF you guys are planning. This piece of shit you have implemented with SOAP is so 90s. Let me implement proper front-end with Node.JS and back-end with JSON-services and killer game will be ready within day!
OMG! LOL! WTF you guys are pl…
"All the participations for the brand actions embedded in this mission are expired!" Barbie cried. "Why the fuck was the duration set to 14 days?"
"All the participations for t…
"Ours is a cruel, godless universe whose only law is the inevitability of entropy. Let march forward into nothingness together," Skipper intoned flatly, eyes focused on nothing in particular. "Oh God, Skipper, did Menard's PK get to you, too?" sobbed Barbie.
"Ours is a cruel, godless uni…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie tries to reboot the computer herself but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Ours is a cruel, godless universe whose only law is the inevitability of entropy. Let march forward into nothingness together," Skipper intoned flatly, eyes focused on nothing in particular "Oh God, Skipper, did Menard's PK get to you, too?" sobbed Barbie.
"Ours is a cruel, godless uni…
"No, Steve, I do not want to see your donkey video again."
"No, Steve, I do not want to …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, and Steven replies back. "I've discussed these logos with the team and they're not quite what we wanted. We want it to look like a startup logo. I asked the team for colors we came up with orange, lime green, and magenta. Can't wait to see what you come up with next, Barbie! I know you can give us a logo that everyone likes."
Barbie tries to email her des…
more (171 pages)