Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Look guys. You gotta close your shits and dicks tags.
Look guys. You gotta close yo…
I engineered this egg to update my Facebook status with my body temperature. Next, I'm planning to use this temperature data to pinpoint my fertility cycle and send private messages to eligible bachelors when I am fertile.
I engineered this egg to upda…
"... and then afterwards, I fry up their brain and serve it in one of my special Barbie tubs."
"... and then afterwards, I f…
Who wrote the product criterias for this shit? If this got tested by a professional, it would be classed as a failure even before release!
Who wrote the product criteri…
Brian, this is a CD. This Macbook pro doesn't have an optical drive, Einstein.
Brian, this is a CD. This Mac…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "It's only an idea right now," Barbie says, laughing, "I have to build the game first!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I thought this was Algorithms 101. Why are you projecting my name in binary?" Barbie asks, "And why are you wearing a labcoat?" "Why are you such a perceptive little shit?" Replies Ms. Smith.
"I thought this was Algorit…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper caresses Barbie's neck gently. She is so thankful that Barbie saved the day, how could she ever repay her?
The next morning, Barbie give…
# chmod -x /bin/chmod
# chmod -x /bin/chmod
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING" exclaimed Skipper
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK …
"Typing notes is so early aughts" Says Barbie as she over writers the teacher's binary with her wifi livepen.
"Typing notes is so early aug…
"Holy Fuck! Where did this hurricane come from!" yells Barbie, as the winds picked up in her sister's bedroom. "My laptop! It's blowing away!" cries Skipper. "It's the fucking Flash!" says Barbie. "He's fucking with us again. I'm calling Captain Cold. I ain't got time for this bullshit."
"Holy Fuck! Where did this hu…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper careses Barbie's neck gently. She is so thankful that Barbie saved the day, how could she ever repay her?
The next morning, Barbie giv…
Since Barbie knows a lot about open source she could find a disk recovery utility that was just as good as the $90 commercial option Skipper couldn't afford. Luckily Barbies command-line fu is sharp, because there was an edge case in the build script. With a pull-request submitted and Skipper's homework saved Thanksgiving was back on track!
Since Barbie knows a lot abou…
lol, you guys are using Corona? Isn't that cute.
lol, you guys are using Coron…
"For the last time," Barbie explained, the corner of one blue eye twitching, "The DVD-RW drive is not a cupholder. You don't even have cups this small! Do you have a tiny cappuccino addiction or something?"
"For the last time," Barbie e…
Barbie shares her virus with Steven and Brian.
Barbie shares her virus with …
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "TrueCrypt is fucked. But I'll install VeraCrypt on your computer!" "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"You STAY OUT of my personal pictures folder!" screamed Skipper. "I was just looking for pictures of puppies. Why do you have a folder called 'Ken (Shower)'?"
"You STAY OUT of my personal …
"Interesting, Brian," says Barbie. "I like your approach to multimethods, but I think your type annotation syntax is overthought and clumsy. Have you looked at Typed Clojure?"
"Interesting, Brian," says Ba…
In computer class, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "I'm having a little trouble with my hobby OS. Do you have any experience writing bootloaders?" asks Barbie.
In computer class, Barbie rai…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Why are you writing in binary and why are you dressed like a pharmacist?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
After exhausting her search for a medical cause, Barbie began investigating the mind of God through aramaic texts to find a reason for this terrible curse. "Steven and Brian will be frozen forever," Barbie Sighed.
After exhausting her sear…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's windows!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Let's try Ubuntu instead, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"If we're using Angular to submit this sign-up form," Barbie offers, "we should utilize ng-messages and potentially some custom directives to validate the fields on the client-side." Steven smiles and says, "Thanks Barbie, that's a great idea! AngularJS is a cool framework." Barbie replies, "You're welcome. And I'm throwing away your Nickelback CD."
"If we're using Angular to su…
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