Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"'Active Protection System' my slender, improbable ass," sighed Barbie. "This ThinkPad is a piece of crap. At least I can boot off of a live CD distro and RDP into a cracked university host to launch the Anonymous attack. Pour me one of those margaritas, wouldja?"
"'Active Protection System' m…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Sure, once I finish programming it!" Barbie says.
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I've just been invite to join Anonymous! Check this out!"
"I've just been invite to joi…
"Same old junk on Hacker News today," Barbie says, laughing. "I guess I will head over to Reddit and see what's happening."
"Same old junk on Hacker News…
"Hey big sis," says Skipper. "Wanna go to Kohl's?" Barbie starts to panic. "Sorry not right now. I got a weird error in this code and I don't have much time before my assignment is due!"
"Hey big sis," says Skipper. …
"Unbelievable, the email I just got from ToKen and BroKen. I have less than two hours to get relnotes written and handed back to the feature team, and these management bobblehead mofos want me to drop everything and create a fucking kanban board. Is crack now available in the fucking vending machines or something?"
"Unbelievable, the email I ju…
z0mg b4rb13 y3w h4v3 r33t sk1LLz!!!!! plu33z3 t33ch m3 t0 h4x t3h m3g4hur7z!
z0mg b4rb13 y3w h4v3 r33t sk1…
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01110111 01101000 01100001 01…
Barbie tries to commit her changes to gtihub. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper both looked at the screen. "Looks like we've got a merge conflict, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to commit her ch…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "Your code looks like fucking spaghetti. I can't follow it. Y'all need to learn some damn OOP and redo this piece of shit."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm not slacking off", said Barbie, "I'm deploying my code with Puppet!"
"I'm not slacking off", said …
"I'm not sure about this concept artwork" complains Skipper, "It doesn't fit the style of the rest of the game." - When the project missed key COCOMO milestones the art department were the first to be made redundant.
"I'm not sure about this conc…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Oh that's OK!" says Barbie. "Brian, what are you doing! Get your hands off of my work before you mess it up!" Brian shrugs and walks off. "Sorry Steven," Barbie says. "I'm sort of in a one person part of the process but I appreciate the offer."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"You found this on MediaGoblin?" asks Skipper. "Yes, it's this cool multi-media hosting platform where artists can share ideas without involving a giant corporation," Barbie replies. "But how will that make rich people richer?" Skipper wonders, quixotically.
"You found this on MediaGobli…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie as she tries to think of a way to explain classloaders to Steven without hurting his fragile male ego.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I'm working with Steven and Brian on the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "Once we done with that, then the two of them can test the real game!"
"I'm working with Steven and …
"The protocol analyzer says you have some crazy ICMP hits. Lets see if we can trace your DDoS attacker," says Barbie.
"The protocol analyzer says y…
"I've had quite enough of your 'help', Stephen," says Barbie. "The stand mounts to the BACK of the monitor, not the screen, and you fucked up all the cabling. Brian, stop playing CandyCrush and fetch me the Necronomicon and a holocaust cloak. It seems our 'helper' Stephen summoned Cthulhu into these two levitating cables. And get that fucking GameCube out of here. It's not 2003! Stephen, another word out of you and I'll cut you with this disc!"
"I've had quite enough of you…
The fact that so many books still name the Beatles "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success: the Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worth of being saved. In a sense the Beatles are emblematic of the status of rock criticism as a whole: too much attention to commercial phenomena (be it grunge or U2) and too little attention to the merits of real musicians. If somebody composes the most divine music
The fact that so many books s…
Leave me along guys, I'm trying to 1up JonTron's pokemon game double hack.
Leave me along guys, I'm tryi…
Barbie skips Christmas and lets her personal relationships and hygiene break down to save the project. Steven suggested switching to a set of pre-compiled libraries to fix large sections of broken code but finances are already stretched to breaking point. Barbies system tester pours barbie some more redbull, Barbie already developed stomach ulcers but she no longer cares
Barbie skips Christmas and le…
"Finally," says Steven. "I thought we'd never get that pig debugged. I think we're ready to really go live this time." "Oh, for fuck's sake!" says Barbie. "Some kid in Pasadena just released the same thing as open source!"
"Finally," says Steven. "I th…
Barbie has worked up a heavy thirst, and writes an e-mail to her manservant, Ken, but Skipper looks over her shoulder and explains she can't send it. "He was exhausted after making man tears juice for us, so I told him to nap for a half hour. Let me pour you a glass. They are delicious, and freshly squeezed. You know Dr. Barbie (no relation) says you need your misandrium if you're going to work yourself this hard."
Barbie has worked up a heavy …
Look at these n00bz trying to help me with my cR@zY intense program.
Look at these n00bz trying to…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll turn it into a real game tomorrow!"
"I'm only creating the design…
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