Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"I'm working with Steven and Brian on the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "Once we done with that, then the two of them can test the real game!"
"I'm working with Steven and …
"The protocol analyzer says you have some crazy ICMP hits. Lets see if we can trace your DDoS attacker," says Barbie.
"The protocol analyzer says y…
"I've had quite enough of your 'help', Stephen," says Barbie. "The stand mounts to the BACK of the monitor, not the screen, and you fucked up all the cabling. Brian, stop playing CandyCrush and fetch me the Necronomicon and a holocaust cloak. It seems our 'helper' Stephen summoned Cthulhu into these two levitating cables. And get that fucking GameCube out of here. It's not 2003! Stephen, another word out of you and I'll cut you with this disc!"
"I've had quite enough of you…
The fact that so many books still name the Beatles "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success: the Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worth of being saved. In a sense the Beatles are emblematic of the status of rock criticism as a whole: too much attention to commercial phenomena (be it grunge or U2) and too little attention to the merits of real musicians. If somebody composes the most divine music
The fact that so many books s…
Leave me along guys, I'm trying to 1up JonTron's pokemon game double hack.
Leave me along guys, I'm tryi…
Barbie skips Christmas and lets her personal relationships and hygiene break down to save the project. Steven suggested switching to a set of pre-compiled libraries to fix large sections of broken code but finances are already stretched to breaking point. Barbies system tester pours barbie some more redbull, Barbie already developed stomach ulcers but she no longer cares
Barbie skips Christmas and le…
"Finally," says Steven. "I thought we'd never get that pig debugged. I think we're ready to really go live this time." "Oh, for fuck's sake!" says Barbie. "Some kid in Pasadena just released the same thing as open source!"
"Finally," says Steven. "I th…
Barbie has worked up a heavy thirst, and writes an e-mail to her manservant, Ken, but Skipper looks over her shoulder and explains she can't send it. "He was exhausted after making man tears juice for us, so I told him to nap for a half hour. Let me pour you a glass. They are delicious, and freshly squeezed. You know Dr. Barbie (no relation) says you need your misandrium if you're going to work yourself this hard."
Barbie has worked up a heavy …
Look at these n00bz trying to help me with my cR@zY intense program.
Look at these n00bz trying to…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll turn it into a real game tomorrow!"
"I'm only creating the design…
I have no idea what I am doing, I just use glasses to look smarter
I have no idea what I am doin…
"Thanks to your help, I have finally been approved as a Debian developer!" said Steve. "Awesome!" said Barbie, "There hasn't been a stable release since I worked on Wheezy in 2013."
"Thanks to your help, I have …
"Justin, I really love your blazer! it goes so well with you tan!" "Thanks, blond girl, Justin said, High five!"
"Justin, I really love your b…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'd be happy to let you play, once I've solved the complex algorithms and logic for users to interact with their puppies!" says Barbie.
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I love you TeX beamer template!" says Skipper, hugging her big sister. "I'll show those people at DEFCON how a talk should be properly presented" says Barbie delighted.
"I love you TeX beamer templa…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "And her other files, as well?" "I've got everything," says Steven. "Now let's retrieve the files from your hard drive. Both laptops will be as good as new in no time!"
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "For now."
"I'm only creating the design…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "I found out that if your computer gets a virus and crashes, you can retrieve all the files you lost. Can I tell the others?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"I just feel sorry for her, don't you?" ToKen whispered to BroKen. "Imagine thinking that customers are asking for something better than F-level!" "I know, right?" BroKen giggled back. "All the BI says customers love writing their own docs because ours are shit. Er, well...that is, all the BI we have since we dumped any negative feedback that didn't support our predrawn conclusions."
"I just feel sorry for her, d…
After class, Steven and Brian meet with Barbie in the library. "Dude, She's so hot," says Brian. "If she'd just let me help her, I bet she wouldn't regret it!" Steven feels like Brian is a jerk but hopes that Barbie will see what a nice guy he is. Once Barbie notices them she thinks, "Oh great! I really wish these idiots would leave me alone. They don't know anything about programming and I have a lot of work to get done!"
After class, Steven and Brian…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "You're late." says Barbie. "I sent you my designs, but began writing the program while I waited for you--and Skipper helped too! I need to get back to testing it on both of our laptops."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Hey guys, can I join in?" asks Brian as he steps up to Barbie's workstation. "For the last time, Brian!" exclaims Barbie "Using a gendered term like 'guys' to refer to a group of persyns is incredibly sexist! You are literally raping me with your words!" "Mhm, you tell 'em Barbie," comments Steven, "as a proud, trans-Asian, genderfluid otherkin, I am exceptionally triggered by Steven's monochrome worldview; I'm updating my blog as we speak." Barbie gives Steven a concensual pat on the back and turns to Brian. "See what you do!? Your cis heteronormative patriarchial white male privilige is oppressing me! And stop plugging in your Dreamcast, nobody wants to play Sonic R with you!"
"Hey guys, can I join in?" as…
"I have a Ph.D. in Theoretical Physics. I learned C++ so I can work in software engineering and build up my retirement fund. Then I'll probably go into teaching!"
"I have a Ph.D. in Theoretica…
- Please! I will do anything but IE6 support! I will swallow the CD, just don't make me write CSS for IE6.
- Please! I will do anything …
"We need to work as a team!" shouts Steven, "You started to construct key parts of the game with no proper specification and now it only works on your machine!"
"We need to work as a team!" …
more (170 pages)