User-Submitted Improvements

Fucking Windows 8.1!
Fucking Windows 8.1!
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "And Brian and I have repaired the corrupted file from our game. It's time to take a break, and then get back to coding."
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
“Boys! Boys!”, complains Barbie. “A firewall isn't enough to protect our systems. You need internal encryption and proper security testing, both static and dynaic too.”
“Boys! Boys!”, complains Barb…
Ah, I see the problem Skipper. Your SCSI host controller glitched for a second so QEMU has put all virtual drives in read-only mode. PostgreSQL is acting up because it cannot write to /tmp/ anymore. Just reboot your VM and you will be fine.
Ah, I see the problem Skipper…
MY LEGS ARE BROKEN!
MY LEGS ARE BROKEN!
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen goes black. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "The laptop died!" "That's okay, let me get the power cord!" cries Skipper. "That way we can stop fucking around and get back to coding!"
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
"I'm starting by creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to test the real game!"
"I'm starting by creating the…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie sees the projector screen and thinks, "Wow this is so boring! I wish the teachers here actually knew programming rather than hashing out simple textbook scripts for newbies!"
Barbie makes it to computer c…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Emily in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "Skipper gave me an awesome idea for our game!"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I stole this computer," says Barbie, "and hacked it to replace all its proprietary software with free alternatives. Now I'm going to reverse shoplift it back into the store, complete with Adblock and a hosts file that blocks Facebook."
                                                                                              "Barbie, you scamp, disrupting the technological hegemony is not on the syllabus!" said Ms. Smith.

But she gave her an A anyway.
"I stole this computer," says…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "It's okay," says Barbie. "I've got this covered! But if you don't mind, I would like a Pepsi and some pizza!" "Sure!" says Steven. "I'll buy!"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
“Barbie! exclaims Skipper excitedly. “Thank you for stopping the NSA from unlawfully spying on me!” She adds, “Also my credit card information is safe too.”
“Barbie! exclaims Skipper exc…
I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT...
I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD H…
"Right now I'm creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "Afterwards, I'll be turning it into a real game!"
"Right now I'm creating the d…
Ah, I see the problem Skipper. Your SCSI host controller crashed, so QEMU put all virtual drives in read-only mode. So now PostgreSQL is panicking because it can't write to /tmp. Just reboot your VM and you'll be fine.
Ah, I see the problem Skipper…
"Hey Barbie, have you tried Node.js yet? It's basically just like Haskell but you get web development and JSON for free!" 
  
                "I will cut you and I don't want a sticker"
"Hey Barbie, have you tried N…
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Choose two distinct prime numbers p and q.
For security purposes, the integers p and q should be chosen at random, and should be of similar bit-length. Prime integers can be efficiently found using a primality test.
Compute n = pq.
n is used as the modulus for both the public and private keys. Its length, usually expressed in bits, is the key length.
Compute ?(n) = ?(p)?(q) = (p ? 1)(q ? 1) = n - (p + q -1), where ? is Euler's totient function.
Choose an integer e such that 1 < e < ?(n) and gcd(e, ?(n)) = 1; i.e., e and ?(n) are coprime.
e is released as the public key exponent.
e having a short bit-length and small Hamming weight results in more efficient encryption – most commonly 216 + 1 = 65,537. However, much smaller values of e (such as 3) have been shown to be less secure in some settings.[5]
Determine d as d ? e?1 (mod ?(n)); i.e., d is the multiplicative inverse of e (modulo ?(n)).
This is more clearly stated as: solve for d given d?e ? 1 (mod ?(n))
This is often computed using the extended Euclidean algorithm. Using the pseudocode in the Modular integers section, inputs a and n correspond to e and ?(n), respectively.
d is kept as the private key exponent.
Choose two distinct prime num…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can we make a robot cat too?" "I think that's a great idea, Skipper," Barbie says, laughing, "You can do anything with code. Want to learn how?"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Barbie: 'God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.' - Ruth Libby.
                                     English Teacher: I'm not sure your mother counts as a significant author of the 20th century.
         Barbie: Her last book sold 2 million copies.
Barbie: 'God gave men brains …
Skipper asks Barbie for help on her homework assignment and accidentally clicks on a link in an email from a friend. Suddenly her screen fills up with pictures and her computer won't respond. "Barbie, can you help me clean my computer?"
Skipper asks Barbie for help …
"I'm telling mom!" yells Skipper. Barbie smirks saying, "Really!?! You think mom is going to take your game over my assignment?" Skipper hits Barbie with a pillow. "Fine! But you better promise not to lock me out!" Barbie nods and says "Don't worry. I'll let you back on it once I get everything finished....maybe."
"I'm telling mom!" yells Skip…
"Steven and Brian haven't committed anything yet to our git....so far it's all my code! Get off your a$$ boys, no time for wow!"
"Steven and Brian haven't com…
Steve plugged in the monitor and giggled uncontrollably.
"Goddammit, Steve!", Barbie exclaimed. "STOP SHOWING ME GOATSE! I WILL CUT YOU WITH THIS DISC!"
Steve plugged in the monitor …
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven's and Brian's genitals to turn it into a real game!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…

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