Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Today in class, Barbie presents the HTML she had spent months designing. Barbie's terrific computer skills are sure to get her an A! Ms. Smith looks concerned; "Barbie, for the last time, this class is on parallel computations and computational complexity theory, please leave."
Today in class, Barbie presen…

At computer class, Barbie presents her game design to Ms. Smith. She tells Ms. Smith she'll be using Python and Pygame to complete the second half of the assignment, explaining that Python and Pygame is a good language and framework for rapid game prototyping and making simple games.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Why are you projecting my name right now?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
1: public static DateTime getTomorrowDate() 2: { 3: Thread.Sleep(24*60*60*1000); 4: return DateTime.Now; 5: }
1: public static DateTime…
Barbie forwards Steven's email to a string of Nigerian 419 scam operators. Afterwards she opens TOR browser and locates a hitman to deal with Brian, paying discreetly with bitcoin.
Barbie forwards Steven's emai…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real game!" "But that 'real game' wouldn't be possible without your ideas!" says Skipper.
"I'm only creating the design…
"We're in," said Barbie. "Nina, you've got five minutes before they trace the connection. But I know you can do it in three. Just long enough for me to eat this yoghurt!"
"We're in," said Barbie. "Nin…
Suddenly, Dr.Schmarbie, in her little girl disguise. jumped out and attacked, "BAR-BIES BLOOD!" she screamed, swinging a big sheet of glass at the back of Barbies head.
Suddenly, Dr.Schmarbie, in he…
"I figured out the math! From now on anyone taking Richard Dawkins seriously will be sucked into the wormhole and transported to the manosphere in the Rigel system, keeping our internet and planet clean! Give me a high five, Brian!"
"I figured out the math! From…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Guys," says Barbie. "why is it so hard to understand the particle updates occur AFTER the field updates? Do you even know what projection is? Do you want to fail this fluid dynamics project?"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Nuttttööööö
Nuttttööööö
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Fuck off, Steven!" says Barbie.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Heeey girrrrl, you wanna..." "Silence fool," inturupted barbie, "once I crack this mainframe and download the launch codes, you PUA's will be the first to suffer!"
"Heeey girrrrl, you wanna..."…
"How many times I told you guys!" asked Barbie. "Stop watching porn all the time!" she followed. "Let me show you how useful the internet can be!"
"How many times I told you gu…
barbie, please stop drawing nude animals in class.
barbie, please stop drawing n…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I decided to redo all of your code in Assembly last night. We just saved big on processing power and cut on lag time."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Was never a heavy user, but it's still left its hooks in me. As one of my junkie friends put it back then, it doesn't matter whether you're trying it out, chipping, or an addict, heroin takes something from all of us." says Ms. Smith, the teacher
"Was never a heavy user, but …
"Steven, you left your porn in the CD drive again" said Barbie. "That is the last time I loan you my laptop!"
"Steven, you left your porn i…
"You're right, Barbie." said Steven. "Vim really is the One True Text Editor. No more pathetic emacs user here.
"You're right, Barbie." said …
Suddenly, Barbie had a flash of lucidity and began working intensely on her hacking. She hacked and hacked and finally got in, and scored the big fish. Billy 1 and Billy 2 realized how utterly useless they were in the situation and started watching whatever the hell they're interested in down there.
Suddenly, Barbie had a flash …
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "He uses a learning classifier system to improve his understanding of the virtual environment" says Barbie. "I tried an Artificial Neural Net, but I don't think the puppy's game play worked so well with it".
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"It will go faster if I go to get you a tray of lattes," offers Steven. "Great! My client's security system needs my immediate and undivided attention," says Barbie. "Brian, can you tidy up my desk before taking Skipper's DVDs back to the library?" "Sure, Barbie--anything I can do to take one more tedious errand off of your plate!" says Brian.
"It will go faster if I go to…
Barbie tries testing her latest feature branch against the staging cluster, only to get timeout errors. "Skipper!" she shouts, "Did you do something to hose the spark nodes again? I haven't had any data for the last ten minutes." Skipper's not paying attention, not at all, there's coffee to drink.
Barbie tries testing her late…
more (171 pages)