Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Stephen: "Do you always look at it encoded?" Barbie: "Well you have to. The image translators work for the construct program. But there’s way too much information to decode the Matrix. You get used to it. I…I don’t even see the code. All I see is blonde, brunette, red-head. Hey, you uh… want a drink?"
Stephen: "Do you always look …
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "But seriously Skipper, you need to back this shit up," says Barbie, "I gave you a 1TB external hard drive last week. What the hell bitch?"
The next morning, Barbie give…
"Aww you motherfucker," Yells Barbie, ripping the CD from the drive and hurling it at the wall. "Which one of you two fucking noobs paid Bismarck to DoW me?" Brian and Steve look surprised. "Must have been the AI." Says Steve, knowing full well it was Brian.
"Aww you motherfucker," Yells…
But Barbie was too quick, and Dr. Schmarbie was left defeated, weeping over her desk, stethoscope twisted and bruised. Barbie liked that there was a poster of her in this room, because it made her feel like people liked to put up posters of her. "I can be...sad." thought Dr. Schmarbie. Dr.Schmarbie eventually did go on to be sad.
But Barbie was too quick, and…
R8, I want that ass m8, I rate that ass 8 outta 8
R8, I want that ass m8, I rat…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
In frustration, Eva exclaims: "Why can't you understand anything about computers, Nathan Wright! Stop trying to unplug my monitor!"
In frustration, Eva exclaims:…
In frustration, Eva exclaims, "Why can't you understand anything about computers, Nathan Wright! Stop trying to unplug my monitor!"
In frustration, Eva exclaims,…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. Barbie explains "We can do a paired programming exercise. Steven you are the little spoon and I'll be the big spoon, and shove this cd up your ass to get you coding faster. And Brian... For the love of God Brian stop fucking with the screen. I can see what you are doing you little shit."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it shows the misandry rainbow! Red for the blood of our enemies, orange for the fires of Hell, yellow for the destruction of the white supremacists, green for the grass growing on the mass graves after the gendercide, blue for luck, and an indigo shield on a field of violet (the secret FHC flag).
The next morning, Barbie give…
Jesus wouldnt want this
Jesus wouldnt want this
"I just dropped a molly in her drink, shit about to get turnt"
"I just dropped a molly in he…
"Where are the drugs Skipper?" "You're not my fucking mother!"
"Where are the drugs Skipper?…
"This will be better if Emil and I write Uber's new privacy policy," offers Travis. "Great!" says Barbie. "Maybe I won't get targeted for harassment when I delete the app for offering hot chick drivers in France." "Sure!" says Emil. "But you still might be held responsible for any women who are sexually assaulted after deleting their Uber apps".
"This will be better if Emil …
At computer class, Barbie presents the darknet market she designed. "Now thanks to TOR Browser, Bitcoin and Barbie Road we can at last circumvent unlawful and immoral state-imposed prohibition on the sale and use of recreational substances," Barbie beamed, "and together we will bring an end to the four-decade failed experiment called the War on Drugs." Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie a bitcoin and asks her to find ten hits of white fluff LSD, for later.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Really?" Barbie asks, "Because I do hardware, bitch." Barbie, thinking about it some more, angrily adds,"I'm pretty sure Brian and Steven don't know what a computer engineer is, because I am not qualified to do do game design."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
In frustration, Barbie exclaims, "Stop trying to unplug my monitor, Nathan Wright!"
In frustration, Barbie exclai…
You White? You Ben Affleck!
You White? You Ben Affleck!
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "No thanks!" said Barbie. I've got a great free virus program on this clean thumb drive. I'll just boot the computers into Safe mode and run the program on each of them!"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "This will really fool people and let us get into their machines, deposit highly illegal pornography and blackmail them. Yay!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"It will go faster if Brian and I stay our of your way," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you and Brian go pick us up some lunch? A cuban sandwich would be great. Skipper is vegetarian so let's get her a veggi sandwich" "Sure!" says Steven. "Awesome!" Says Skipper, "we should be done by the time you get back."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it." go
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Fuck you- I'm gonna be a hacker!
Fuck you- I'm gonna be a hack…
Today in class, Barbie presents the HTML she had spent months designing. Barbie's terrific computer skills are sure to get her an A! Ms. Smith looks concerned; "Barbie, for the last time, this class is on parallel computations and computational complexity theory, please leave."
Today in class, Barbie presen…
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