Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Steven, take this CD to set up the Desktop as a master. Remember we are using wifi so make sure you take care of the transmission drop. Skipper, configure our laptop as slave. We will use small distributed cluster to crack the password of this library" says Barbie. ""Sure!" says Steven & Skipper.
"Steven, take this CD to set …
Having watched The Girl the the Dragon Tattoo, I'm going to do something with this shiny plastic PC and that window, and get myself a Mac. But first I'm going to do something to my instructor, which involves that clipboard, and maybe that projector
Having watched The Girl the t…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
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"The technological drive emerges from an attempt to (re)produce a 'mother' who would and could preserve the (philosophical, masculine) fantasy of full presence, life, and unending connection. Technology is the result of a fantasy to make artificial life more lifelike than life by denying death, absence, disconnection, the improper, and sexual difference."
"The technological drive emer…
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"I don't need Steven and Brian's help," Barbie says, laughing. "Not only have I created the information architecture and game logic, I'm also styling the game to match my designs."
"I don't need Steven and Bria…
"Okay class it is time to learn computer language. In computer language, the circle is pronounced as beep, and the line is pronounced as boop. Very simple yes? Now repeat after me, BEEP BOOP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP. That means hello!
"Okay class it is time to lea…
After class, Barbie went to the library to work on her compewder assignment. Her two classmates Leslie and Andre decided to join her. "Ooooooooh, oh Barbie I love what you did with those numbers, they are fabulous. I simply love the touch of pink. You are a compewder genius! Don't you agree Leslie baby?" Andre said. "Oh yes, they are simply exquisite! I must put that on my twitter." Leslie replies.
After class, Barbie went to t…
I'm using node.js to make this website. It's such a bad-ass rockstar tech. It has webscale and doesn't using blocking operations like apache.
I'm using node.js to make thi…
"Okay class, we are going to do some difficult computer today. We are going to learn about one and zero and how they be arranged into nonsensical sequences then add them together. For example you can put the zero before the one then put more zero behind it, finally you put one follow with a zero to finish it off. When you add 0100010 and 0110001 together, they will make babies and create 0111010, 0110010, 01101001 and 01100101. Do you comprehend? Remember it well class, it will be in your test."
"Okay class, we are going to …
After class, Brian and Steven met Barbie in the library. "What are you doing with our laptops, Barbie?" Brian asked. "I found all the inappropriate pictures of underage girls you saved, you disgusting freaks," Barbie said. "I'm deleting them all, as well as reporting you to the FBI."
After class, Brian and Steven…
"Wow Steven, I'm so glad you spent four hours playing League of Legends while I fixed all of the problems in our group project caused by your shitty programming skills!" Barbie said, high-fiving her friend who was oblivious to her sarcasm.
"Wow Steven, I'm so glad you …
"Barbie, I found this fursona design in your room," Skipper said. "Are you hiding the fact that you're a fucking furry from me? Disgusting. Yiff in hell, bitch."
"Barbie, I found this fursona…
"If your computer crashes, can you retrieve the files you lost?" asks Barbie. "Excellent question," says Ms. Smith, the computer teacher. "Today's lesson will be on file structure and disk search utility."
"If your computer crashes, ca…
"Skipper, is that a naked anime girl on your laptop screen?" Barbie asked. Skipper clung to her laptop as Barbie looked on in confusion. "I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S NOT REAL, SHE'S MY WAIFU AND I LOVE HER!" she wailed.
"Skipper, is that a naked ani…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I haven't had a chance to send you my designs. Our computers ended up crashing. I need to get back the lost files and repair both of our laptops... So I will be too busy to help you with your homework. Ask the librarian for some help!"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
If only those guys were as low maintenance as self-executing anonymous functions...
If only those guys were as lo…
Leave me alone. I'm working on a production problem.
Leave me alone. I'm working …
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. " Sorry I'm a little busy, I'm counter-hacking some punk's computer and returning his payload to him, with a few surprise tweaks. Oh, good, he's home!" She grins and stares intently at the screen.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
I know! If we double the team size we'll get it done in half the time!
I know! If we double the team…
"Should I write my program in ML or Java?" asked Barbie. "Come on, Barbie," said Steven, "You do realise that whole ML-thing was a joke, right?"
"Should I write my program in…
"Dude," Brian says, "Barbie doesn't know what I did with her sister's laptop!" Barbie is two feet away. Lucky for Brian, Steven warned her the night before so she had time to design a new anti-virus program. Barbie is going to be rich. Steven will make better friends. Brian will no longer be able to afford his favorite hair gel.
"Dude," Brian says, "Barbie d…
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