Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"By defeating you in mortal combat," Skipper announces triumphantly as she struck her sister with her mighty weapon, "I shall become the face of Mattel! Hahahaha!"
"By defeating you in mortal c…
"I'm only programming a new UNIX-based OS from scratch," Barbie says, laughing. "I don't need any help from those Windows losers!"
"I'm only programming a new U…
"Boys... one more thing," Barbie leans in to give the utmost clarity to her last words of advice. Bill shivers as her cold, independent lips hover over his ear, "If you die in the game... you die for real."
"Boys... one more thing," Bar…
"Listen, you sexist pigs!", said Barbie. I can run rings around your shitty spaghetti code!
"Listen, you sexist pigs!", s…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I'm just working out a few glitches in my project. As soon as I get this sorted I'll work on that virus you emailed me about."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "It'll be a few days before I can work on the code! It's important to have a precise guideline layed out before you start programming."
"I'm only creating the design…
Barbie finishes coding her game when she gets an email. "Oh no, Steven says he downloaded a virus and wants me to come help debug his computer!" says Barbie. "And WHY is that a bad thing?" asks Skipper.
Barbie finishes coding her ga…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up washing my hair and getting a manicure! Can you show me how to get on the Interweb?
After class, Barbie meets wit…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie, "I'm almost finished coding my project, but I have to finish it before I can work on those bugs in yours." She glares at them. "But if you two click on another pop-up ad, you won't be getting more help from me!"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
- Barbie, can you explain the principles of Git? - Easy, said Barbie, You just need to know that branches are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space.
- Barbie, can you explain the…
"I better not spil my food on my laptop or else it might electrocute me and ruin my project." Said Barbie.
"I better not spil my food on…
"I better not spil my food on my laptop or else it might electrocute me and ruin my project." Said Barbie.
"I better not spil my food on…
"I'm only creating the back-end database connection right now," Barbie says, laughing. "Stephen and Brian are supposed to do the GUI, but since they're watching the game and eating chips I'll probably finish that later too."
"I'm only creating the back-e…
"No, Steven, you can't just plug your monitor into the projector." said Barbie, rolling her eyes.
"No, Steven, you can't just p…
"These files are taking forever to transfer!" complained Brian. "Seriously?!" exclaimed Barbie. "It's because you're using Migration Assistant over WiFi, what did you expect? Here, plug this Ethernet cable in, cat the file and pipe it through netcat, n00b!"
"These files are taking forev…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'm going to turn it into a real game after a few tries!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Sure, but I am not done all the coding, so it won't completely act like a real puppy. The puppy does like getting its fur brushed. Why don't you try that and see what it does? I should be done adding some playful behavior next week. Would you like to become a beta test for me?"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I'm not going on the top of your christmas tree!" grimaced Barbie. "I'm too busy fixing this bug."
"I'm not going on the top of …
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
What the fuck did you just fu…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "Stop downloading so much porn and maybe things would be different."
Barbie tries to email her des…
"I can't help you with your homework now," Barbie says. "I'm too busy reading this thread on 4chan. If I laugh, I lose!"
"I can't help you with your h…
How can you see into my eyes Like open doors? Leading you down into my core Where I've become so numb Without a soul My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there And lead it back home (Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) Before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become Now that I know what I'm without You can't just leave me Breathe into me and make me real Bring me to life (Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me fr
How can you see into my eyes …
Barbie tries to download the latest season of Game of Thrones from the Pirate Bay, but the website seems to be down. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Skipper makes herself breakfast while Barbie panics because she can't wait another minute to find out what happens on the show. "You wouldn't download a car," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to download the …
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "No way," Barbie says, laughing, "Did you learn anything from this god awful book? Only men can play video games."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Hey, salut! Tu connais Béatrice Mayoraz?
Hey, salut! Tu connais Béatri…
more (170 pages)