Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I sent you the designs, alll encrypted and shit."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Your game has a robot puppy?" says Skipper. "Cool, I love robots! When can I play it? Do you think that you could put it on my laptop with your flash drive?"
"Your game has a robot puppy?…
"I haven't showered or eaten in three days." Barbie said aloud. "War is hell. I mean, it's a flame war, but the sentiment remains."
"I haven't showered or eaten …
Barbie is working on her code when she sees that she has an email. "Oh no, Steven says he downloaded a virus onto his computer and wants me to help him out with it after school!" says Barbie. Barbie tells him to reboot the computer, and if that doesn't work she'll stop by and take a look at it. "Remind me again why that's a bad thing?" says Skipper.
Barbie is working on her code…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "It is still in beta testing," Barbie says, laughing, "I'm waiting for Steven and Brian to debug their modules for real fur motion. Their routines keep calling my algorithms backward. The dogs hair looks like it is in a backward windtunnel. Their deadline is Thursday, if they don't have it done, I'm going to get Prayeti and Fu Chen to fix it. Those girls can really code." I'll call you when the next rev is available."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I don't know what happened. I just clicked a link on a web page, and then everything started freezing and crashing," explains Steven. Barbie sighs. "Oh, Steven...You should never click a pop-up ad! I brought this recovery disc, it should debug all that malware." "Oh. Thanks!" says Steven.
"I don't know what happened. …
At computer class, Barbie presents her mixed application design using Docker inside of a VM on Fusion to demonstrate a better way to design the computer games for the best performance. Ms. Smith is so impressed with the experiment and idea! Barbie's terrific computer skills have given them a new idea to transform the over all infrastructure and design! "Let's take this to the next level!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Yeah, right," says Barbie. "I don't need any damn help. look, I've already fixed it all. Thanks for nothing."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I was the one that hacked your machine. Check out my next blog post about security research to find out how you can fix it." "Challenge accepted." Skipper replies as she playfully SQL injects Barbies' homepage, looking forward to defacing it for giggles like the hackasaurus rex that she is.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
Barbie selected the wrong seat in class. The sunlight makes it impossible to view her laptop screen. Thankfully, she knows the old school way to take notes!
Barbie selected the wrong sea…
"THE DEVIL IS IN THE COMPUTER!!!" screams Skipper, bashing it against the desk and trying to crush it with her body. "IT MUST BE DESTROYED! I DO THE LORD'S WORK!" Skipper's pink stethoscope falls to the floor. Putting a hand to her forehead, Barbie sighs wearily. "Not this shit again," she mutters.
"THE DEVIL IS IN THE COMPUTER…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and there is Barbie's game! "This game is just too cool, Barbie! Thanks for copying to my computer!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed and gives Barbie a 94%! Barbie's computer skills are pretty impressive, but there is still always more to learn. "If I study and work hard, someday I can be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Hey Skipper, check this out," Barbie called to her sister. Skipper came over and chuckled, but Barbie was horrified. Someone had modified her code to index at 1. "BRIIAAAAAAN!!"
"Hey Skipper, check this out,…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "No thanks," says Barbie. "I am competent enough to restart a computer all on my own."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to Corporate now. I'm managing a new investment project that requires an in-depth analysis of a 401k for our consumers. But afterwards, I'll find a way to fix your laptop!" "You better!" Skipper replies. She then fluffs her pillow civilly and sits down, because throwing a pillow would be a childish thing to do. As a grown woman, she would never partake in such activities.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"Hey what's this cord do?" asks Steven. Barbie smiles and politely says, "It will go faster if you guys just let me figure this out." The guys understand Barbie needs to think a little to figure out the problem. "We understand Barbie, I know it slows you down when you have to explain everything. Is it okay if we watch?," they ask. "Of course," says Barbie, "and I'll explain everything once I get it myself!"
"Hey what's this cord do?" as…
"As lead product designer, I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says. "I'll need my development team's help to turn it into a real game!"
"As lead product designer, I'…
FUCK THE PATRIARCHY, SIS
FUCK THE P…
"Skipper, I had to have to reformat your hard drive and make a new user account. This computer was full of viruses," said Barbie. "I can't find the internet explorer?? How do I watch Netflix??" exclaimed Skipper. Barbie sighed. "Here, use Chrome. It's better."
"Skipper, I had to have to re…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need my development team's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need my development team's help to turn it into a real game. As project manager, I hand selected the best developers to create empowering games for young girls and preteens."
"I'm only creating the design…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. Barbie replies "Wow! I had no idea your combined presence can make files transfer faster than if I was doing this on my own. In fact - we should have you two geniuses working on the deploy and release pipelines, so we can get those transfer speeds technology alone can't achieve". This silences them.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. Barbie raises her hand and says "Ms. Smith, I need my computer back, please. I need to take notes too"
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "You HAD better!" Skipper replies (this time with correct grammar), as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
more (170 pages)