User-Submitted Improvements

Welcome to Coding class for noobs. Just look at all the random pervs looking at the girl with the blond hair and the pink jacket. Go do some Fvcking research and make a gaym in exactly 24 hours. Bye now!
Welcome to Coding class for n…
Alter, du hast mir den Code jetzt nicht ernsthaft als zip-datei auf DVD gebrannt? Mein Ultrabook hat nicht mal ein Laufwerk dafür! Muss ich dir jetzt einen Wikipedia-Eintrag über Git ausdrucken?
Alter, du hast mir den Code j…
WTF, die Hälfte der Programme im Echtsystem sind ganz anders wie die Sourcen da auf eurem Testsystem... Und bei der Parametererweiterung hier wurden alle Batchprogramme vergessen - das kann nie funktioniert haben!!! Und sowas aktiviert ihr am Freitag um 16 Uhr vor dem langen Wochende?!
WTF, die Hälfte der Programme…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys. Not fucking cool! don't change my shit because it's too hard for you to code!... Now I have to clean up your mess! I should have just done it myself!"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm going to need Steve and Brian's help. Steve! Bring me my freaking coffee  - I'm wiped out from coding all nite. Steve bring yo sweetness over here, rub my feet and lets watch StartMeUpLIVE!
"I'm going to need Steve and …
"I'm going to need Steve and Brian's help. Steve! Bring me my freaking coffee  - I'm wiped out from coding all nite. Steve bring sweet ass over here and lets watch StartMeUpLIVE!
"I'm going to need Steve and …
I'm lead designer! I've hired some cheap code monkeys to make my vision a reality... I think their names are Brian and Steve.
I'm lead designer! I've hired…
"Jesus Christ Brian!" said Barbie, "Why have you added JQuery and JQuery UI to the site? Its not even minified!" Brian looked condescendingly down at Barbie. "We needed a way to animate that dropdown menu," Brian said.

Barbie fantasizes about strangling Brian with a USB cable.
"Jesus Christ Brian!" said Ba…

pkkm;
pkkm;
"It looks like Steven made this puppy drawing in MS Paint! I bet you could make this less pixelated, Barbie." Skipper suggested.
"It looks like Steven made th…
"It looks like Steven created this in MS Paint! I bet you could make this puppy less pixelated, Barbie." Skipper suggested.
"It looks like Steven created…
I think I will just give up on life.
I think I will just give up o…
Barbie is astonished to find that someone screwed with her website code overnight. "Who the fuck was going to tell me about this?!" Barbie scoffs angrily. Third times this week! There goes the rest of Barbie's day, cleaning up a mess made by some other asshole.
Barbie is astonished to find …
"Fuck Steven," Barbie says, laughing. "I can run circles around him while programming!"
"Fuck Steven," Barbie says, l…
DNS is hard, let's go shopping!
DNS is hard, let's go shoppin…
"Barbie, great job fixing my code. You got the efficiency of that algorithm to O(1)" exclaims Steven. "All right!" says Barbie.
"Barbie, great job fixing my …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
Thank god I got rid of that pink laptop my gay friends were having me fix for them. Now I can load up on some ritalin and work that new module for Drupal 8. Yaml really pissed me off at first but now that I got used to it, it's actually a bit quicker in some cases. Anyway once I burn out my stims I'll submit all my changes to github and review any pushes from Brad. That guy writes the worst code. Sometimes I think about kicking him off the project.
Thank god I got rid of that p…
Look, Stuart, I made a file system. *barbie gets 4*
Look, Stuart, I made a file s…
"Brian agreed to go on a date with me!" exulted Steven.  
"Awesome!" says Barbie.
"Brian agreed to go on a date…
"No, Eric and Kyat!" Maura said. "I am not going to install network drivers off of a fucking CD. This is not 1992." Kyat scrambled to put away his stack of DVDs as Maura quickly got the student connected to CMU-SECURE.
"No, Eric and Kyat!" Maura sa…
memory handling is hard, let's go shopping!
memory handling is hard, let'…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper, ask Matt Taylor for help!
Barbie tries to email her des…
"I always type on two computers at once" says Barbie. "And I make sure I wear glasses when I do it, so that people will think I'm smart... cool huh?!"
"I always type on two compute…
"Barbie, I'll have to ask you to put away your computers now."
"You should wipe your nose."
"Excuse me?"
"May I have a glass of champagne?"
"Barbie, I'll have to ask you…

more (170 pages)