Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"God I hate yaml" exclaimed Barb. "But it's the only way to do anything with my drupal 8 module" Barbie understood the logic behind all the changes in Drupal 8 but was seriously pisssed that she had to rewrite completely all her code from Drupal 7. After an 18 hour ritalin fueled coding session Barb pushed her code to the git repository and crashed for about 8 hours, but before playing an hour of Call of Duty tho. She Powned those bitches.
"God I hate yaml" exclaimed B…
"May I introduce the virus" offers Steven. -"Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, are you sure it's gonna work?" -"Sure! The library computer will give us a chance to change this world." says Steven. -"… I can't believe that we are about to erase Money.. equalizing each and every bank account on this planet with a simple multipartite and polymorphic virus. We Are fucking geniuses !"replied Token.
"May I introduce the virus" o…
"That's it! I can't take it anymore!" exclaims Barbie, "Mattel has belittled me and my abilities for the last time! I'm leaving to go and work for Sideshow Toys!" "Well, finally!" giggles Skipper, "Does this mean you're going to tell Ken about the affair you've been having with that Loki action figure?"
"That's it! I can't take it a…
While Ms. Jennings grimaces as she forces herself to teach Advanced English Lit on a fraction of the Flag Team budget, Barbie's highly active mind gets bored on the public school curriculum. Barbie fantasizes about making millions on a game where King Arthur uses the Holy Grail to battle Tomas de Torquemada. She decides to call it "Nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition in Camelot."
While Ms. Jennings grimaces …
Damn it Steve, constant buffers are 16 byte aligned-- you can't just pass these vectors in like that. Let me pad this shit for you.
Damn it Steve, constant buffe…
"You really half-assed this one, Barbie. How did you expect to get away with it?" asked Ms. Jennings, who was cranky that day because she put red undies in with almost all of her white clothes. "Because I can do anything!" replied Barbie. Ms. Jennings contemplated stabbing Barbie in the eye with her stylus.
"You really half-assed this o…
Barbie, we're gonna double our revenue with your website - and at 150k - totally under Council's radar! Oh and hey, you were spot-on about the eye-candy - thank Rob for those graphics - the mayor took one look and said good, let's get Korean tacos.
Barbie, we're gonna double ou…
"Why did you do it, TSwift!? Why!?" Barbie smacks herself on the head and makes a mental note to Gift Skipper everything Amy Lee. With some Lindsey Stirling vids to push the point.
"Why did you do it, TSwift!? …
"That robot puppy is so fabulous it sneezes glitter!" Says Skipper, "Did Ken draw this?" "Yes, He came up with this while we were watching RuPaul's Drag Race."
"That robot puppy is so fabul…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I'm not surprised! Let's go celebrate my awesomeness! " says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Duuuuuude! My Golden Snitch dragged a Balrog through a Time Rift and landed in a Hellmouth!" Barbie was totally freaking out! "I know," giggled Skipper, "I programmed that in last night. Don't worry, though, I gave your avatar some more practical body armor. Why did you make it so skimpy? Weren't you getting tired of being impaled so easily?"
"Duuuuuude! My Golden Snitch …
"Hi, guys!" said Barbie, "I was playing around with Skipper last night, and we came up with an antidote to that virus that's been rampaging the school. It's sort of like digital penicillin." "Wow, Barbie!" said Ken, "But check out my new shoes! Wait... what's penicillin?" "Yeah, great," added Brian sarcastically, "Now I have to take that math test!"
"Hi, guys!" said Barbie, "I w…
"Hey, sis, what's wrong?" asked Skipper. "Oh! My golden snitch dragged a Balrog through a time rift and landed in a Hellmouth!"
"Hey, sis, what's wrong?" ask…
Barbie tries to load her project files in Construct Classic, but the program crashes. "Damnit, this is such a bitch," she exclaims. "Have you tried Construct 2?" says Skipper. "It's more stable." "Yeah, but it doesn't have pixel-based collision detection for some dumb fucking reason," says Barbie.
Barbie tries to load her proj…
I can make gombooda!
I can make gomboo…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I've just created the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I'm using Steven and Brian's computers linked with mine in order to finish the distributed rendering."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Barbie proceeds to demonstrate the game she coded using C++. Ms. Smith is so impressed with how well the game works, as well as what a great teaching tool the game will surely be for younger children, that she gives barbie extra credit! "I am a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
Barbie proceeds to demonstrat…
"I'M SO FANCY," the computer blared. "YOU ALREADY KNOW." "Noooooo!" Barbie screamed. "Not Iggy Azalea!" She started to cry.
"I'M SO FANCY," the computer …
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hey, Barbie, do you need help?" Steven asked. "No. Now go the heck away!" she replied.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"You're an ugly dog," Skipper cried. "An ugly,ugly dog." "Uh forget u Skipper," Barbie said.
"You're an ugly dog," Skipper…
"Who needs guys?" said Barbie.
"Who needs guys?" said Barbie.
"I know you said you'd quit the internet if you saw one more picture of a naked Kardashian," shouts Barbie, "but don't unplug the computer while I am trying to listen to the Sound of Animals Fighting."
"I know you said you'd quit t…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need more time to work on the concept if I want to make it a real game! Maybe I should go look into some books on coding at the library!"
"I'm only creating the design…
After class, Barbie meets with Cheese and Brine in the dungeon. Hey noobs, I crashed my laptop and skipper's as well! HELP ME OUT QUICK
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Since I'm a dumb sh!t, I need my hardworking classmate's help! Their names are... Brine and Cheese! I'm only gonna design the stoopid thing, so they can do all the coding work! Cool, huh?
Since I'm a dumb sh!t, I need…
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