User-Submitted Improvements

" I'm working a program that will help others learn how to write code with great ease," says Barbie.
" I'm working a program that …
how many times do I have to tell you two NOT to download anything!! 50 viruses. Really???
how many times do I have to t…
"Are you guys fucking stupid?" asks Barbie, "Who uses Dropbox to do code development? And nothing's organized. And it's all written in Java. And there's like 1500 files. Let me look through these files...hm...it must be some really complex program if you need all these AbstractAbstractBeanAbstractBeanFactoryFactoryBeanFactory classes. What does this even do?"                                                                                                                            Barbie decides to run the program in the command line to test out what Brian and Steven have been up to. The output is as follows:
                                                                                 1, 2, Fizz, 4, Buzz, Fizz, 7, 8, Fizz, Buzz...
"Are you guys fucking stupid?…
"Barbie, you've been on the computer for hours. What have you been looking at?"                                                                                     "ayyy lmao," says Barbie
"Barbie, you've been on the c…
dear god that ass
dear god that ass
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven.
"Fuck off, pleb," says Barbie. "You've never even installed Gentoo before."
"But I've downloaded a couple games on Steam before. I'm sure it couldn't be that h-," starts Steven. Barbie interrupts, "go back to >>>/v/"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Can't go just yet," said Barbie. "Code reviewing some horrid 7000-line file with only one function. Ten boolean parameters, magic numbers and string literals everywhere, meaningless variable names, and inline SQL. Who is this new developer anyway?"
"Can't go just yet," said Bar…
"STOP LOOKING AT MY SADPANDA FUTA COLLECTIONS MOM!"
"STOP LOOKING AT MY SADPANDA …
"SHUT UP MOM I WANT TO BE A GIRL FROM NOW ON! I HATE YOU MOM!" Steven yelled.
"SHUT UP MOM I WANT TO BE A G…
"PFFFFT!" says Barbie. "Why's dat nigga usin' a pink computer?" "Das gay as fuck!" says Steven. "Nigga you gay."
"PFFFFT!" says Barbie. "Why's…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost futanari collection!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie!" Skipper grabs Barbie and thrusts her huge futa cock inside of her.
The next morning, Barbie give…
"Your a lesbian? Threeway?" offers Steven. 
"Bitch, you ain't never had sex in your life. It's at times like this that I'm proud to be a lesbian." says Barbie. "Steven, stop being a bitch, aight?" 
"Sure!" says Steven. 
"Right." Replies Brian. "You are my bitch and my bitch only." Barbie nodded in approval. She'd been shipping them for ages.
"Your a lesbian? Threeway?" o…
“Barbie, I thought we already discussed you posing for a clipart picture. Hook up the projector, for god’s sake.”
“Barbie, I thought we already…
It was a slow day at the office.  Brian and Steve, lost in the Twitterverse, pecked at their phones mindlessly while Barbie was hard at work coding a new program. "Hey guys, check out this new program I just wrote!"  Eager to be relieved of their boredom, Brian and Steve dashed over to Barbie's work center.  "I took the ideas you developed last  month and kicked them up a notch," she explained. "Our clients will be thrilled with the improvements I've made!"
It was a slow day at the offi…
New Text: I'm so excited to create this computer game! I'm in charge of the whole project, coding, design, three dimension modeling, and marketing!
New Text: I'm so excited to c…
Original Text: "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real game!"

New Text: I'm so excited to create this computer game! I'm in charge of the whole project, coding, design, three dimension modeling, and marketing!
Original Text: "I'm only crea…
"Yeah Barbie, it's a great site!" Brian exclaimed. "Lemonparty.org has lots of great tips!" Stephen had a hard time stifling his laughter, so he just bit his lip and nodded.
"Yeah Barbie, it's a great si…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real game!"jkk
"I'm only creating the design…
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"What is that!?" Exclaimed Bryan. "This is called a DVD, you Doofus !"Said Barbie. "Eureka! You invented something, blonde girl!"Screamed Bryan.
"What is that!?" Exclaimed Br…
">>>from __future__ import braces", cries Skipper. "SyntaxError:" replies Barbie. "not a chance"
">>>from __future__ import br…
"I just did a fresh install of Utopic Unicorn, because, despite LTS, Trusty Tahr is yesterday's news. And who doesn't like Ubuntu and Unicorns?"
"I just did a fresh install o…
"Seriously, you are coding your site in php?" exclaims Barbie, staggered. "Who let you in?" cries Skipper and throws herself in front of her laptop.
"I know it is easy to stick with the tech that you already know, but in the long run it is better to try and learn new stuff every once in a while, especially if you're writing php..." advises Barbie her little sister.
"Seriously, you are coding yo…
Barbie peered at them over her glasses. "Look, guys. I'm doing C++ with one hand and Python with the other. I'm about to bang my head on the keyboard to design a website with Malbolge. I don't have time to go to the pub."
Barbie peered at them over he…
J'ai toujours été celle dans ma famille qui réglait les appareils électroniques et qui formait le reste de la tribu.
J'ai toujours été celle dans …

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