User-Submitted Improvements

Let's do some ordering process for today!
Let's do some ordering proces…
At work, Steven and Brian ask Barbie to add new features to her awesome app. "Fuck off guys", says Barbie. I told you to only contact me via the ticketing system.
At work, Steven and Brian ask…
"Whenever a test randomly fails to pass, just add a conditional to the spec and watch that swag do its job" - Ari.
"Whenever a test randomly fai…
Two words, Hector and Jon: Pivotal Tracker.  Did you even read the email?!
Two words, Hector and Jon: Pi…
Pour mine with an extra shot of espresso, sis. Some scrub decided to link directly to ATLAS instead of generic BLAS and LAPACK, so now I have to write patches to get this to link against accelerate.framework instead. I'm not about to pollute /usr/local/lib with a bunch of stupid dependencies.
Pour mine with an extra shot …
Posing as a luddite, Barbie scribbles some hexidecimal words on paper just to amuse herself while her classmates pretend to be following along, but are actually tweeting, emailing, and watching Internet porn.
Posing as a luddite, Barbie s…
"Steven, what are you smiling about?" Barbie asked. "The action is tomorrow, and according to the tracker only two of your people are on. This does not seem like a plan to win."
"Steven, what are you smiling…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up destroying capitalism and overthrowing the patriarchy."

"Wow barbie," says Steveface, "That sounds like a tough job."

"That's because you're stupid," says Barbie touching him lightly with her sickle.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
You know, I love ice creams and I wish there was an app that helps you choose all the flavors that go well together. Mmh... I think I could try to code that app on my own.
You know, I love ice creams a…
The 1st day of class, the teacher said they would start with an exam about C++ code.
"Too easy!", thought Barbie. 
But Brian and Steven didn't feel at ease. They hadn't coded for the whole summer.
The 1st day of class, the tea…
"Thanks for working on that program with me Barbie!" says Steven. "No problem Steven!" says Barbie. "Collaborating on assignments makes them more exciting." "With both our minds we are able to be much more creative too," says Steven.  "Now let's show the rest of the team and see if they have any ideas to add!"
"Thanks for working on that p…
"What the fuck is this, Brian?" Barbie asked her assistant. "I ask for deliverables, and you hand me this relic of the 90s? Ever heard of the Internet? Hand me a disc again and I'll replace you and Steven with Python scripts."
"What the fuck is this, Brian…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "No thanks! I was in a CS First club and I know I can solve this problem" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. Barbie thinks to herself, "Not only do I have the computer skills, but I'm learning to manage a project too!"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Listen, Teacher... if you think we will believe that a screen full of zeroes and ones is actually anything more complex and useful than a 90s screensaver, you're wrong," said Barbie. "On top of that, I'm pretty sure you can't read binary, anyway."                The next day, the NSA agents came over and arrested her on cyber-terrorism charges.
"Listen, Teacher... if you th…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Why does your laptop display binary?" chuckled Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
The Greek yogurt cools the pain of technology mediated alienation
The Greek yogurt cools the pa…
Perhaps I can create a lil program to erase the mouting student debt.
Perhaps I can create a lil pr…
The idea is quite simple Skipper. When we connect this USB thumb drive up to the USB port, an inverting DC/DC converter runs and charges capacitors to -110V. Then it discharges, until every circuit on your laptop is broken down! Eat it.
The idea is quite simple Skip…
Okay, once we brute force the root password we need to remove all authorized SSH keys except for ours. Then we kill everyones SSH session. This box will be ours in no time.
Okay, once we brute force the…
"Come on!" Crys Barbie, masshing her keyboard.
"What's the matter?" Skipper inquires while calmly pouring herself a smoothie.
"Our AUR package has bad checksums in the PKGBUILD and it's marked as out of date," Barbie shouts, "Why did we ever allow Brian to be are Arch package maintainer?"
"Come on!" Crys Barbie, massh…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I guess I can be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "And her other files, as well?" "I've got everything," sa
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
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Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "I think you're mistaken Ms. Smith." says Barbie. "The idea of binary code was actually sparked in 1450."
Barbie makes it to computer c…
2 minutes !  juste le temps de faire un ticket JIRA et je débloque un nouveau compte
qui m'a pris 2 heures à créer dans GPT.
2 minutes ! juste le temps d…

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