Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

And now i'm phishing that little girl: she did an awful haircut.
And now i'm phishing that lit…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it." lulz
"It will go faster if Brian a…
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen starts blinking. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "The virus must be on the flash drive!" "I forgot to back up my homework assignment!" cries Skipper. "And all my music files are lost, too!"
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
Cyberspace. A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts... A graphic representation of data abstracted from the banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the nonspace of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding...
Cyberspace. A consensual hall…
Cyberspace. A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts... A graphic representation of data abstracted from banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the nonspace of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding...
Cyberspace. A consensual hall…
"I just ripped a DVD of the new Game of Thrones episode. Check it out out Steven!" exclaims Barbie. "Dude! Sweet!" shouts Steven. David admonishes, "you wouldn't steal a car..."
"I just ripped a DVD of the n…
At computer class, Cat Lady Barbie presents the Super Secret Illicit Software she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for #stoprush "I guess I CAN rid the world of Rush's filth and piss off Brian too!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Cat Lady B…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to implement extra if-defs to make it more optimized on windows." "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits barbie with a pollow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
What the hell is this? A Bluray? What year are you guys living in? My code's on github and the assets are in S3. You guys embarrass me. If you need a shuttle I have usb3 msata in my purse... at least it's read write. And you guys call yourself geeks? You make Barbie sad.
What the hell is this? A Blu…
"Come on over to the Pitt Women in Computer Science meeting this Thursday," Barbie said. "We don't pull this kind of shit."
"Come on over to the Pitt Wom…
Her professor was harsh, but fair. "Barbie, I'm afraid the graphics aren't very good. It's a start, but they're obviously rushed. However, it looks like your code is almost flawless, and the bugs remaining are negligible. Overall, I'm giving you an A for programming this engine out so well in only 3 weeks, but I'll have to give your design team a B-. If you can do the hard work and long hours, so can the boys."
Her professor was harsh, but …
"Ms. Smith," Barbie asks as she raises her hand? "Yes, Barbie. What is it," the teacher asked on baited breath. "Your binary has a typo in it."
"Ms. Smith," Barbie asks as s…
Skipper dives to grab her laptop before Barbie can reach it. "Whoa!" She shouts. "Don't you know not to touch a laptop before the browser history's been cleared?"
Skipper dives to grab her lap…
Skipper greets her sister with a cheery "Good morning, Barbie!" "Oh, Christ, is it morning already?" Barbie replies. Barbie has been up all night coding again. Skipper knows that Barbie is deep in Hack Mode, so she pours her sister some orange juice and calls herself an Uber for the ride to school.
Skipper greets her sister wit…
Barbie listens intently as her professor explains the latest programming concepts. She feels confident that these new and advanced theories could really improve her skill set, and is excited to try them out.
Barbie listens intently as he…
"I'm just finishing my implementation of the simplex algorithm. Now I'll be able to find good approximations to certain classes of hard problems within a good smoothed running time!"
"I'm just finishing my implem…
I've no idea how to do this smoke sim, but I told the boss I could do it. I'll use the 'unresponsive render farm' excuse again!
I've no idea how to do this s…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. Now because you guys know nothing about computers you can plug and unplug, play my favorite music from this cd. And get me some coffee. That would really help"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Sorry, just a second, Skipper, I just noticed that the data I'm dealing with is always monotonically increasing, so I can reduce the space complexity of my data structure by at least a factor of n," Barbie says. "Gosh Barbie, none of that space or time complexity stuff really matters in practice, you know!" Skipper jeers. "Skipper, that is the worst thing I have ever heard anyone say." Barbie is very upset because Skipper is very wrong.
"Sorry, just a second, Skippe…
Look, guys, I can't talk right now; I've got this disk with a corrupt partition table that I've got to rebui... Wait, what are you staring at?
Look, guys, I can't talk righ…
Let's go to buy an arduino board. So I can start to make the puppy project I just designed last week.
Let's go to buy an arduino bo…
"There's way too much information to decode the Matrix," Barbie explains. "You get used to it, though. Your brain does the translating. I don't even see the code. All I see is blonde, brunette, redhead..."
"There's way too much informa…
Barbie wants to a run Linux based platform on a Windows partitioned solid slate hard drive but can't decide if it's worth it
Barbie wants to a run Linux b…
Should I implement my visualization with P5.js, D3, Node.js, or Three.js with WebGL? Gah! I'm leaning towards Three.js for its performance, but P5.js for its pedagogic value.
Should I implement my visuali…
Barbie is thrilled that she chose a shinny new PC over a Mac or Linux workstation. Now she can run Maya, 3dsMax, Softimage, Houdini, or Cinema 4D without being limited by OS! With all that cash she saved, she can even buy FumeFX!
Barbie is thrilled that she c…
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