Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in again? Here, let me help," offers Steven. "Stop!" says Barbie. "I'm in the middle of a file transfer! Brian, stop messing with my laptop! Can you boys just go get me some coffee or something? I'll be done much faster if you just let me work." "Sure!" says Steven. "We'll be right back."
"Have you tried unplugging it…
Master Sensei teaches the newbs about crypto. The guy with the popped collar is a mole from the NSA. Barbie knows this, and has already planned to seduce and kill him.
Master Sensei teaches the new…
Hey guys, you can't help me, im too busy working 2 laptops because im just such a 1337 h4x0r you noobs just go get me a cup of coffe. Or don't. I'll just order my super skilled robot dog I designed take care of it. Can you burn Kali Linux on something though? I'll need something newer than BackTrack to hack this school shit.
Hey guys, you can't help me, …
"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in again? Here, let me help," offers Steven. "Stop!" says Barbie. "I'm in the middle of a file transfer! Steven, stop messing with my laptop! Can you boys just go get me some coffee or something? I'll be done much faster if you let me work." "Sure!" says Steven. "We'll be right back."
"Have you tried unplugging it…
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil," announces the teacher. "This isn't premature! I've profiled the app and it's too slow when the garbage collector runs!" she responds. "I need to allocate less on the heap!"
"Premature optimization is th…
"Julia, qu'est ce que tu fous, il y a plus de café !"
"Julia, qu'est ce que tu fous…
So this is a story about how I made a "freemium" flash game for my game design class and the ups and downs of working in a group. The teachers says she is worried if I can handle being the leader of this group or not. Bitch I was a doctor and flew a fucking spaceship I think I can handle it.
So this is a story about how …
Barbie was using Facebook in the library. Unfortunately, Creepy Uncle Zuckerberg was looking over her shoulder, forcing her to create a decentralized, spyware-free, #indie alternative. "I love protecting our fundamental freedoms & democracies", said Barbie.
Barbie was using Facebook in …
"I swear to God, I have HR on speed dial", said Barbie.
"I swear to God, I have HR on…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "After class I'll start making the code and I'll let you know once you can test it!"
"I'm only creating the design…
I DESIGNED & BUILT A THREE-FOOT-TALL AUTOMATIC CHEF. IT LEARNED HOW TO COOK BY READING COOKBOOKS. I TAUGHT THE BOT HOW TO READ, DUH.
I DESIGNED & BUILT A THREE-FO…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she both programmed and designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie an iOS developer license to distribute her app through the App Store! Barbie's terrific computer skills have earned her much prestige in the gaming community. "I'm a L33T H@CK0R!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Barbie: Fuckoff. Coding.    Steven: Uhmm... Barbie: Wait. No, bring coffee Brian: Uh. OK. Barbie: *Then* fuck off.
Barbie: Fuckoff. Coding.    …
Steven tells Brian: "We are so lucky to have Barbie, I will never understand anything to this!"
Steven tells Brian: "We are s…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "You better!" Skipper replies as she angrily hits Barbie with a cement pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"Your robot puppy is such a sweet hack, B."says Skipper. "Can I review your latest commit?" "I'm currently refactoring the weighting algorithm for its sensory neural net. There are a number of gerrits already assigned to Steve and Brian which you could pick up?" Barbie says. Skipper replies, "I'm on it! Steven and Brian's seem to be occupied with test automation at the moment."
"Your robot puppy is such a s…
"These are only the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need to work with the other members of my team to turn it into a real game!"
"These are only the design id…
"Wow rearranging the molecular arrangement of these 3 oranges into a calabi yau manifold through introduction of a quantum shim has resulted in truly delicious ice cream with a smooth sorbet like finish."
"Wow rearranging the molecula…
"What do you mean the code's on this disc?! My laptop doesn't even have a drive that can read this thing!"
"What do you mean the code's …
"Thank you, Barbie! You saved my life!" exclaims Steven.
"Thank you, Barbie! You saved…
WHEN YOU CODE SO HARD YOUR MONITORS CRACK. #GANGSTER
WHEN YOU CODE SO HARD YOUR MO…
At computer class it's hold your utensils in an awkward way day. Mrs. Smith is bumping dope tunes on her Beats by Dre Pill. Meanwhile she doesn't even realize Barbie just trojaned the headmasters laptop. Shiny!
At computer class it's hold y…
"C'mon man, (?y.M)[x := N] ? ?y.(M[x := N]), if x ? y, provided y ? FV(N) is the process of replacing all free occurrences of V in the expression E with expression R." "Damn, thanks Barbie!" says Steven.
"C'mon man, (?y.M)[x := N] ? …
-"A mí me encanta, si fuera por mí lo dejamos... pero..." Espetó Kyros dudoso ante la muestra. -"Bueno, en una semana los chicos te preparan 32 niveles nuevos, así que estamos bien" Dijo Barbie sin dejar pensar a Kyros. -"Podemos hacer una reunión de 5 horas y media para estimar cuánto nos puede llevar dibujar una zapatilla" Dijo Jorjón, sin poder evitar los ojos fogozos de Kyros apuntándole.
-"A mí me encanta, si fuera p…
"There we go!" said Barbie. "I've got systemd up and running for you along with Wayland."
"There we go!" said Barbie. …
more (170 pages)