Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "No way," says Barbie, "It's just that I upgraded my NVidia drivers and X-Windows is giving me grief again."
Barbie tries to email her des…
Brian and Steven were discussing male grooming tips in the library when they heard the frantic clatter of Barbie's keyboards. "What are you up to Barbie?" they asked. "I'm re-routing my traffic through an anonimized VPN in order to download TOR without showing up on the NSA's radar.", she quickly replied.
Brian and Steven were discuss…
Barbie set down her hot pink laptop and her ninja black laptop. Then she hooked up her hot pink laptop to Brian's LCD monitor. "Holy!" said Brian. "Three screens!" "Newbs," Barbie muttered, and got down to work. "Oh, for pity's sake...hey, guys? Did you document any of this spaghetti code?"
Barbie set down her hot pink …
This shitty laptop is too slow for UE4, DAMMIT!
This shitty laptop is too slo…
"Um... Steven, why are you putting a mini disc into the SD card slot?" asked Barbie. "Let me help you out there, then I'll show you how to write the cache invalidation code so that you don't serve stale data to your users". "Wow, Barbie, you're so smart" said Steven.
"Um... Steven, why are you pu…
Fuck me I've decompiled physics! Your glass is now floating!
Fuck me I've decompiled physi…
I see you've laid out the uml objects and decided to use Rosetta for round tripping. Could i interest you in simply coding in the latest loosely typed, multi inheritance functional language like the one i just coded up on two separate laptops with one hand each? Also sudo make me some coffee.
I see you've laid out the uml…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Are you sure?" says Barbie. "Can your Windows machine mount an ext4 partition?" "I don't even know what that is!" says Steven. "Can you show me how to dual-butt Ubuntu?" Barbie laughed, "It's dual-BOOT, you doofus."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Why are you writing binary opcodes by hand and not using an assembler?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "My sister came up with this awesome idea for the game we're creating. I'm gonna add her thoughts to what we have so that you can take a look!" "Awesome!" says Brian. "Your sister always have interesting things to contribute with."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
LOOK AT THE SIDE OF MY LAPTOP, IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE PASSING YOUR TESTS.
LOOK AT THE SIDE OF MY LAPTOP…
"I'm only building the prototype," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help market it!"
"I'm only building the protot…
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" - Barbie asked her friend sitting next to the pink notebook with some weird keyboard and fake slots. "Damn, I forgot. It always helps. Thank you Barbie!" "And you little silly, stop plugging router in to the screen, it won't work. Here, take this CD and play yourself. I'm gonna fix this mess"
"Have you tried turning it of…
"I'm only creating the software architecture," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to make it look nice!"
"I'm only creating the softwa…
"I'm not slacking off" Barbie says, laughing. "I'm just eating this yoghurt while my code's compiling!"
"I'm not slacking off" Barbie…
"I'm only creating the software architecture," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's make it look nice!"
"I'm only creating the softwa…
"We're a great team" Steven grinned, hi-fiving Barbie. "Yup, I even had to show you a few tricks or two from retrieving an encrypted file from Windows 32 sys directory." Barbie smiled. "Ahaha you got me there, I forgot how to do that!"Steven laughed "Even a girl beats me, man I'm such a loser." "Nothing to do with being a loser or a girl, I'm a computer engineer after all!" Barbie exclaimed. "Anyone can do it if they give it a try!"
"We're a great team" Steven g…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I am trying to write an iPhone app with Xcode but it keeps crashing my laptop, I think I might have a virus or something!".
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Oh no!" Barbie exclaims while clicking the curly bracket on her screen. She is panicking that her latest game code is not quite up to scratch. "Don't stress sis," says Skipper helpfully while pouring a glass of orange juice."I'm learning about Java in school. I can help too!"
"Oh no!" Barbie exclaims whil…
Actually, it's about popped collars in computer class
Actually, it's about popped c…
THANKS OBAMA!
THANKS OBAMA!
"Skipper! You must allow me to rewrite that UEFI code to take advantage of the new encryption protocol RUDOLPH together with the manufacturer key that allows everyone to multiboot to Plan9, freebsd, macosx and that ported version of NextOS. Your adherence to a single boot OS with a paravirt guest OS is just foolish to us bare metal ladies."
"Skipper! You must allow me t…
Why do these idiots always md5 their passwords....
Why do these idiots always md…
Did you try to turn it off and on again?
Did you try to turn it off an…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "You better never touch it again!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow. "Or I'll install Plan 9 on yours!"
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
more (170 pages)