Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"While my code compiles I will eat this caffeinated yoghurt," laughs Barbie "Caffeine and coding are a perfect match."
"While my code compiles I wil…
No time to talk. Hacking the planet.
No time to talk. Hacking the…
Barbie showed Steven and Brian that they were idiots by replacing their endless list of loops with much more efficient arrays. "See boys? The file size has halved."
Barbie showed Steven and Bria…
"It's alright guys," says Barbie, "I'm just about done getting rid of all of this spyware you installed, and I installed some anti-malware software for you too. Try to be more careful when you're on those dirty sites, ok?"
"It's alright guys," says Bar…
"I've collapsed that wave function of your simulated schroedinger's cat, and it's a series of concentric circles with gradients."
"I've collapsed that wave fun…
"If your computer gets a virus and crashes, how can you retrieve all the files you lost?" asks Barbie. "Gooogle that shit, Barbie!" says Ms. Smith, the teacher.
"If your computer gets a viru…
"The trick to a perfect high-5 is to look at the other person's elbow!" shouts Steven. "Suck it," says Barbie, "who cares about slapping hands when I just replaced the word ‘game’ with ‘poodle’ in all your IRC logs?"
"The trick to a perfect high-…
"Sucks to be you Skipper - I'm Audi and good luck getting back your illegal downloads!", mocked Barbie.
"Sucks to be you Skipper - I'…
"Barbie, get out of here before the Illuminati catches you!" "Metal doesn't melt at that temperature, Skipper! THINK!"
"Barbie, get out of here befo…
"Barbie, get out of here befor the Illuminati catches you!" "METAL DOESN'T MELT THAT QUICKLY, SKIPPER!"
"Barbie, get out of here befo…
It's alright, Steven. I'm almost done fixing your PC. I've also set up an antivirus for you. Try to keep it up to date this time! And be more careful when you're on those websites!
It's alright, Steven. I'm alm…
"Skipper, I've left instructions on how to delete your Internet history on the desktop in a text file." "You're the best, Barbie! Now One Direction will never see my draft fanfics."
"Skipper, I've left instructi…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian at the Python Code Dojo. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I've already made a start on the solution for a twenty questions game in pig latin."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Two laptops, three hackers," said Barbie. "We must do battle at once, using these hyper-luminescent circular handsaws." "Last one alive gets the monitor!" said Steve, stroking the DVI plug in anticipation.
"Two laptops, three hackers,"…
After class, Barbie sits programming in the library. "Hi Barbie," says Brian and Steven, "wanna come shopping with us?" "Sorry guys, I have to solve this first. But have fun you guys," says Barbie and stares back at the screen.
After class, Barbie sits prog…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I've only done the design," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need to turn it into a working game!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Please stop mansplaining Windows 8 to me."
"Please stop mansplaining Win…
"I couldn't have figured out my project without your help Barbie!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "Programming five!"
"I couldn't have figured out …
"Jesus, Skipper!" says Barbie, "I know engineering is male-dominated and everything, but you don't need that kind of over-the-top phallic symbolism to get a job. That banana is just ridiculous."
"Jesus, Skipper!" says Barbie…
Have you tried turning it off and back on again? n00bz
Have you tried turning it off…
"Skipper, coding is a mental art. There are many styles of coding, and many masters. Some be teaching, some be preaching, and some be seeking. Others be overreaching. Choose wisely." So much for frameworks.
"Skipper, coding is a mental …
"How's the assignment going Sis?" asks Skipper "Not good my group sucks more balls than my ex-husband" sighs Barbie
"How's the assignment going S…
"I never knew that fourth normal form was so easy to achieve!" said Skipper. "We've optimized the database like crazy!" "And with Nginx as our web server, we'll be able to handle thousands of simultaneous connections!" Barbie added with a grin.
"I never knew that fourth nor…
"I managed to retrieve files myself, but thanks for the help guys!" Barbie smiled as she took out the CD from the optical media drive. "No probs Barbie. Hey can you fix my computer next week? It's running a bit slow, and I tried running my anti-virus software." Steven asked.
"I managed to retrieve files …
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Has it got a name?" "I was thinking of 'Skynet'," Barbie says, laughing manically, "It will need night vision, jet-pack propulsion and some kick-ass serious weaponry if it's going to successfully hunt down Steven and Brian!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
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