Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Hey Barbie, what's this?," asks Skipper." "Oh, I just got a new set of Bic Pens for Her and was inspired!", says Barbie. "Neat! You know, I think this would make a great computer game.", says Skipper. "Computers! Ick!" laughs Barbie. "Now, where did I leave my apron?"
"Hey Barbie, what's this?," a…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven, "but we're not going to. You're gonna have to fix your own fuck up. It might seem hard now, but one day, you'll thank me." "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Excuse me, did you bleach your brain? Watch my lips. No!" says Steven.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I finished mine last night," says Brian. "Almost," Steven says. "I had some trouble with the coding, but my mom was able to help me. She designs computer games for her job."
"I finished mine last night,"…
"Today we learn coding in pure binary," says Mrs. Smith, the computer class teacher. "But Mrs. Smith, Ruby on Rails makes everything much easier! Why do we need to learn assembler?" asks Barbie. "Silly girl," sighs Mrs. Smith, "Were you planning to program the i486 chipset in Rails? Now repeat after me: 1100001..."
"Today we learn coding in pu…
"So like the guy said there's like all zeros and ones on this shiny disk but you guys will know what to do with it," said Barbie. "Ain't nobody doing shit till the Asian dude gets here," Leroy said.
"So like the guy said there's…
"I'm trying to connect to the WiFi and this thing just plain sucks!" complains George. "No problem!" says Barbie. "George, it looks like you bought a computer that only communicates on the 2.4GHz spectrum. Unfortunately, all of your friends with these rogue devices are stepping on your computers signal and making it a bad day. I would recommend you just go buy a super cool Mac."
"I'm trying to connect to the…
"Oh god, Steve, why on God's green Earth are you calling all of your Blueprint functions on Tick? Do you hate having over 30 FPS?"
"Oh god, Steve, why on God's …
s! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
s! "My lost assignment!" crie…
Surely, Steven and Brian can do the design themselves!
Surely, Steven and Brian can …
After class, Barbie, Steven and Brian meet in the library. "I'm really happy with how my project is coming along," Barbie says. "Have you almost finished yours?" she asks.
After class, Barbie, Steven a…
"Oh you boys, always breaking your laptops!" says Barbie. "Here guys, let me help you fix those with my recovery DVD." "Thanks Barbie!" says Steven. "I don't know what we would do without you."
"Oh you boys, always breaking…
"You can be the first to test it when it's done," Barbie says, laughing. "While I'm working on the game design, Steven and Brianna are busy writing the code!"
"You can be the first to test…
Steven and Brian were still having trouble grasping recursive algorithms. Barbie understood. They are tough! Luckily, she found an old CD-ROM she used to use to tutor high school students. She had a feeling it would do the trick!
Steven and Brian were still h…
"Bitcoin will pump faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you dump all my shitcoins and set some buy walls?" "Sure!" says Steven. "There is no way anyone would dump these amazing coins on me! TO THE MOON"
"Bitcoin will pump faster if …
Skipper hugged Barbie and said, "Thanks for teaching me how to use WordPress! Now I will be an even stronger candidate in today's tough job market."
Skipper hugged Barbie and sai…
Look Skip, I'm not saying your product design is shit, but, well, it's shit.
Look Skip, I'm not saying you…
what have i become
what have i become
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I know it took you a while to collect all that dungeon porn, but I might be able to restore it." "You better!" Skipper replies as she angrily hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"Oh my god Skipper - these fucking designers just changed the interaction model again." Barbie is pissed. "I'm going to have to refactor the whole navigation stack on my way in to work again".
"Oh my god Skipper - these fu…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so affronted that she gives Barbie detention every day for two weeks. Barbie's computer skills are getting in the way of her part-time job as shop window mannequin. "I guess I can be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily. "Guess again," says Ms. Smith.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Of course you can have an iPad Air 2 for Christmas, Skipper! Its so easy to hack into Daddy's bank account even using my little pink laptop when you know how!" Skipper was so pleased she could have jumped for joy except that might have woken Mummy.
"Of course you can have an iP…
wow! Barbie is trying to get tickets for Tomorrowland with 3 laptops, I heard you have to make a serious effort to even get a single ticket. :D
wow! Barbie is trying to get …
"Yes we can! High five!" "Oh my God," cried Barbie, "you're going to be the greatest president ever!"
"Yes we can! High five!" "Oh …
"I've got big man hands" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "And a big man brain as well?" "I've got everything," says Steven. "Now let's retrieve the files from your hard drive. Both laptops will be as good as new in no time!"
"I've got big man hands" excl…
"I'm only typing up the proposal," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Josh and Steve's help to do the real selling!"
"I'm only typing up the propo…
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