Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Brian notices that Barbie is struggling to install Ubuntu, so he extends a helping hand. Disgusted by his meek demeanor, Barbie backs away towards Steven, a real man. However, Steven is oblivious because he is busy watching Boku no Pico.
Brian notices that Barbie is …
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Of course," Barbie says, laughing, "it's a ton of work to design and code but I can handle it. Maybe Brian and Steven can hang out later and test it out! Brian is a great cook... Perhaps he'll bring his worldfamous"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
"I drew a pink puppy!" exclaims Skipper. "That's cool," Barbie chuckles, "I just exploited single-byte biases in the initial 256 bytes of an RC4 keystream to recover 220 bytes of TLS-encrypted plaintext before my organic, GMO-free flax oatmeal."
"I drew a pink puppy!" exclai…
"I think ENAS will be just fine once the engineers get their fingers out!" said Barbie. "In the meantime I'll just eat an ice-cream."
"I think ENAS will be just fi…
"How cool is that, Steven?" Barbie exclaims. "High-five for having a mom with a fun job!"
"How cool is that, Steven?" B…
"Your custom USB microcontroller firmware is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can flash my own USB peripherals and test these attacks?" "I'm only presenting the ideas," SRLabs says, laughing, "You'll need to reverse engineer it all yourself if you want to try it!"
"Your custom USB microcontrol…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to hack your laptop." "You better not!" Skipper replies as she blows up Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
Steve and Brian were giggling about some prank again. Boys in the workplace can be such a distraction! Barbie didn't really mind, though. Their easy jocularity made them a great asset on sales calls. Barbie smiled, thinking how fulfilling it is when the sales team helps her projects reach a really BIG audience!
Steve and Brian were giggling…
Before deploying her project to production, Barbie fixes the consultant's code coverage, removes their dummy code coverage classes, and successfully validates her change set. "Take that, consultants!" Barbie exclaims in indignation.
Before deploying her project …
"Hey Barbie, what's this?," asks Skipper." "Oh, I just got a new set of Bic Pens for Her and was inspired!", says Barbie. "Neat! You know, I think this would make a great computer game.", says Skipper. "Computers! Ick!" laughs Barbie. "Now, where did I leave my apron?"
"Hey Barbie, what's this?," a…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven, "but we're not going to. You're gonna have to fix your own fuck up. It might seem hard now, but one day, you'll thank me." "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Excuse me, did you bleach your brain? Watch my lips. No!" says Steven.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I finished mine last night," says Brian. "Almost," Steven says. "I had some trouble with the coding, but my mom was able to help me. She designs computer games for her job."
"I finished mine last night,"…
"Today we learn coding in pure binary," says Mrs. Smith, the computer class teacher. "But Mrs. Smith, Ruby on Rails makes everything much easier! Why do we need to learn assembler?" asks Barbie. "Silly girl," sighs Mrs. Smith, "Were you planning to program the i486 chipset in Rails? Now repeat after me: 1100001..."
"Today we learn coding in pu…
"So like the guy said there's like all zeros and ones on this shiny disk but you guys will know what to do with it," said Barbie. "Ain't nobody doing shit till the Asian dude gets here," Leroy said.
"So like the guy said there's…
"I'm trying to connect to the WiFi and this thing just plain sucks!" complains George. "No problem!" says Barbie. "George, it looks like you bought a computer that only communicates on the 2.4GHz spectrum. Unfortunately, all of your friends with these rogue devices are stepping on your computers signal and making it a bad day. I would recommend you just go buy a super cool Mac."
"I'm trying to connect to the…
"Oh god, Steve, why on God's green Earth are you calling all of your Blueprint functions on Tick? Do you hate having over 30 FPS?"
"Oh god, Steve, why on God's …
s! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
s! "My lost assignment!" crie…
Surely, Steven and Brian can do the design themselves!
Surely, Steven and Brian can …
After class, Barbie, Steven and Brian meet in the library. "I'm really happy with how my project is coming along," Barbie says. "Have you almost finished yours?" she asks.
After class, Barbie, Steven a…
"Oh you boys, always breaking your laptops!" says Barbie. "Here guys, let me help you fix those with my recovery DVD." "Thanks Barbie!" says Steven. "I don't know what we would do without you."
"Oh you boys, always breaking…
"You can be the first to test it when it's done," Barbie says, laughing. "While I'm working on the game design, Steven and Brianna are busy writing the code!"
"You can be the first to test…
Steven and Brian were still having trouble grasping recursive algorithms. Barbie understood. They are tough! Luckily, she found an old CD-ROM she used to use to tutor high school students. She had a feeling it would do the trick!
Steven and Brian were still h…
"Bitcoin will pump faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you dump all my shitcoins and set some buy walls?" "Sure!" says Steven. "There is no way anyone would dump these amazing coins on me! TO THE MOON"
"Bitcoin will pump faster if …
Skipper hugged Barbie and said, "Thanks for teaching me how to use WordPress! Now I will be an even stronger candidate in today's tough job market."
Skipper hugged Barbie and sai…
more (170 pages)