Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Cool, a printout of a picture of a doggie! There are almost no actual animals left in the world, as the biosphere has collapsed from all this mindless techno-worship. I should become an anarcho-primitivist and help smash civilization before humanity too goes extinct!"
"Cool, a printout of a pictur…
The neon prayer rug on the screen shivered and woke as an animation program cut in, ice lines weaving with hypnotic frequency, a living mandala. Barbie kept punching, and the movement slowed; the pattern resolved itself, grew slightly less complex, became an alternation between two distant configurations.
The neon prayer rug on the sc…
"Hey man, I just told her to randomly hit ones and zeros, sorry-ass fool thinks she's coding!"
"Hey man, I just told her to …
Barbie tries to hack the NSA, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like the government sent you a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to hack the NSA,…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Why are you projecting random binary?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
Then she grinned at me. That grin was truly crazy, feral and focused, and I knew that right then she really didn’t give a shit about dying. ‘Look,’ I said, ‘I’ve got some money left, you know? Why don’t you take it and get the tube to Miami, catch a hopper to Montego Bay. You need rest, man.You’ve got to get your act together.’ ‘My act, Skipper,’ she said, punching something on the keyboard, ‘never has been this together before.’
Then she grinned at me. That …
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills, hard work, and dedication to her project have made her successful in her class! "I can be anything I put my mind to!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Barbie asked, "Do you think this old AOL CD works?"
Barbie asked, "Do you think t…
"Nyugi fiuk, Gyuri nemsokara itt lesz, es akkor levideoz benneteket" - mondta Barbi Balazsnak, a hires magyar celebnek.
"Nyugi fiuk, Gyuri nemsokara …
"Your custom USB microcontroller firmware is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I test these attacks on my own USB peripheral device?" "I'm only creating the attack ideas," SRLabs says, laughing, "You'll need to reverse engineer it yourself to try it!"
"Your custom USB microcontrol…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper gets to be the first person to play Barbie's new game. "You are just too cool, Barbie!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
"I'm only creating the design ideas right now," Barbie says, laughing. "I'm working on the code later so that you can play it!"
"I'm only creating the design…
As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If your computer gets a virus and crashes, how can you retrieve all the files you lost?" asks Barbie. "Get a boy to help," says Mzzz Smith.
As soon as class begins, Barb…
Skipper, your CS course covers what to do when your machine has a virus. Now put down that pillow and figure it out. I'll be over here. I'm still trying to get my team to use SCRUM and if I miss a standup, they might try to skip it.
Skipper, your CS course cover…
When Barbie tries to look at Skipper's laptop she covers it immediately. "No, Barbie! I've almost deciphered the National Security Agency's cryptographic ciphers. I can't have you going down for my own black hat debauchery!" Terrified at the monster her sister has become, Barbie faints and falls backward onto Skipper's plush 80's shag carpeting.
When Barbie tries to look at …
Brian notices that Barbie is struggling to install Ubuntu, so he extends a helping hand. Disgusted by his meek demeanor, Barbie backs away towards Steven, a real man. However, Steven is oblivious because he is busy watching Boku no Pico.
Brian notices that Barbie is …
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Of course," Barbie says, laughing, "it's a ton of work to design and code but I can handle it. Maybe Brian and Steven can hang out later and test it out! Brian is a great cook... Perhaps he'll bring his worldfamous"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
"I drew a pink puppy!" exclaims Skipper. "That's cool," Barbie chuckles, "I just exploited single-byte biases in the initial 256 bytes of an RC4 keystream to recover 220 bytes of TLS-encrypted plaintext before my organic, GMO-free flax oatmeal."
"I drew a pink puppy!" exclai…
"I think ENAS will be just fine once the engineers get their fingers out!" said Barbie. "In the meantime I'll just eat an ice-cream."
"I think ENAS will be just fi…
"How cool is that, Steven?" Barbie exclaims. "High-five for having a mom with a fun job!"
"How cool is that, Steven?" B…
"Your custom USB microcontroller firmware is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can flash my own USB peripherals and test these attacks?" "I'm only presenting the ideas," SRLabs says, laughing, "You'll need to reverse engineer it all yourself if you want to try it!"
"Your custom USB microcontrol…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to hack your laptop." "You better not!" Skipper replies as she blows up Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
Steve and Brian were giggling about some prank again. Boys in the workplace can be such a distraction! Barbie didn't really mind, though. Their easy jocularity made them a great asset on sales calls. Barbie smiled, thinking how fulfilling it is when the sales team helps her projects reach a really BIG audience!
Steve and Brian were giggling…
Before deploying her project to production, Barbie fixes the consultant's code coverage, removes their dummy code coverage classes, and successfully validates her change set. "Take that, consultants!" Barbie exclaims in indignation.
Before deploying her project …
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