Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

‘Now,’ she said, ‘there, see it? Wait. There. There again. And there. Easy to miss. That’s it. Cuts in every hour and twenty minutes with a squirt transmission to their comsat. We could live for a year on what she pays them weekly in negative interest.’ ‘Whose comsat?’ ‘Zurich. Her bankers. That’s her bankbook, Jack. That’s where the money goes. Crow Jane was right.’ I stood there. My arm forgot to click. ‘So how’d you do in New York, partner? You get anything that’ll help me cut ice? We’re going to need whatever we can get.’
‘Now,’ she said, ‘there, see …
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I'll fix your laptop when I get home, if you haven't already fixed it." "I'll try!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"I don't know why you guys are smiling," Barbie warned Steve and Brian as she looked over their commit log. "This shit won't even work in mobile."
"I don't know why you guys ar…
"The FCC is considering a proposal that could inhibit Net Neutrality," Barbie says, laughing. "It's important to me that there is a free and open internet. So I need to find out how I can use my programming and marketing skills to assist this cause."
"The FCC is considering a pro…
"Eating ice cream is an important part of the Software Development Life Cycle," Barbie explained to the reader's amusement or ignorance.
"Eating ice cream is an impor…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "If you want, but my target audience is younger kids," Barbie says, laughing, "So I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to playtest it!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Those fuckheads put all the DOM logic into the controller again! When will they ever learn to abstract this stuff away inside directives and stop bloating our app!" Barbie yells at her computer, "That's it, I'll revoke their write access to our repository!". "Looks like you got a nice flamewar coming up in our IRC channel..." says Skipper while pouring her freshly imported mate tea.
"Those fuckheads put all the …
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie a 99%! Barbie's computer skills may be above average, but her teacher says that there is always room to learn more. "I really want to be computer engineer," says Barbie happily " So I'll keep working hard."
At computer class, Barbie pre…
In an act of desperation, Skipper flings herself in front of the computer screen to hide her shameful secrets. However, it is too late-- Barbie has already seen her sister's dolphin porn.
In an act of desperation, Ski…
"I'm creating the design ideas," Barbie said laughing "My co-workers Brian and Ken, can't seem to understand my vision so I'm doing the coding myself."
"I'm creating the design idea…
"You know how awesome this cutesy game is? So awesome it gives you eye cancer, the good kind" screeched Barbie who had never cracked Pitch and Tell meetings.
"You know how awesome this cu…
"On Late Night With John Oliver* I heard some disturbing news that the FCC is considering a proposal that concerns the basic principles of Net Neutrality," Barbie says, laughing. "I'm going to find out what groups are working to support a free and open internet and see how I can get involved." * Source: http://n.pr/1qsb75z
"On Late Night With John Oliv…
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen starts blinking. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "The virus must be on the flash drive!" "Oh, that's so annoying!" said Skipper. "Luckily, I'm a savvy computer user, so I had already set everything to back up to the cloud. That means my files are safe, but I still really need my laptop to continue working. We gotta fix this, Barbie."
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. The design you sent ended up crashing my laptop--and Skipper's, too! I've restored them both, but I need you to fix these parameters so it won't happen again.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I already committed the changes on Github, but I'd love to do some pairing to get the boss fight done today."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Don't worry Barbie, I'll program it for you," said Idris.
"Don't worry Barbie, I'll pro…
"And then it's just git stash pop!" Barbie says. "Oh my gosh, thank you Barbie! I still can't believe I did all that work on the wrong branch!" Skipper says. "No problem, sis! Everyone has to learn sometime."
"And then it's just git stash…
"Skipper and I were watching Late Night With John Oliver* and heard some disturbing news that the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) is considering a proposal that concerns the basic principles of Net Neutrality," Barbie says, laughing. "I'm going to research this further to find out what groups are working to support a free and open internet and see how I can get involved. Maybe I can use the programming and marketing skills I learned in College to help others learn more too." * Source: http://n.pr/1qsb75z
"Skipper and I were watching …
"So what we do is put this keylogger on this library computer" says Skippy. "Then we get peoples credit card numbers so Tyrone can buy us Heroine for Barbie to sell at school".
"So what we do is put this ke…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "We can make this a Scrum team. Let's get Skipper too. She's awesome with Java. Also, Ken is an XML guru." "Sure!" says Steven. "Do you know Tiffany? She's done A LOT of Android App development." "And she's great at fixing bugs. I mean, features." Brian added. Barbie laughs, "Alright, lets get her on board. I'll be Product Owner. Tiffany can be Scrum Master."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I guess I can be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"I'm only creating the design ideas at the moment," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need some more coffee before I can start turning it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she created. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I guess I can be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Get your hands off that cable, Steve. You're going to fuck everything up. I'll take it from here," said Barbie.
"Get your hands off that cabl…
"Shane! Shane! It's broken!"
"Shane! Shane! It's broken!"
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