Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the computer science teacher. "Is it ethical to promote the use of computer technology when environmental destruction, rare earth mining, and slave labor are inevitable parts of their production?" asks Barbie.
"Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "I knew you could do it, Barbie! you're a lifesaver! Now that all nighter wasn't for nothing" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug. " Maybe... if you didn't procrastinate so much..... you wouldn't have..... that problem," Barbie wheezes through the hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Klaus Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Stephanie's and Briony's help to turn it into a real game! Fuck, I'm sick of this tight fitting doll costume."
"I'm only creating the design…
‘You need a gun,’ said the Doc. ‘You’re in luck. I got the new Smith and Wesson, the four-oh-eight Tactical. Got this zenon projector slung under the barrel, see, batteries in the grip, throw you a twelve-inch high-noon circle in the pitch dark at fifty yards. The light source is so narrow, it’s almost impossible to spot. It’s just like voodoo in a nightfight.’
‘You need a gun,’ said the Do…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly she gets the BSOD. "Oh no!" says Barbie. Barbie quickly restarts in Safe Mode and runs a virus scan. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "Yeah, but that's okay, " replies Barbie, "I always back up my work!"
Barbie tries to email her des…
I am just finishing to review your pull request guys, needs some refactoring before I can merge that into master!
I am just finishing to review…
Barbie was another one of those young-old faces you see drinking in the Gentleman Loser, the chic bar for computer cowgirls, rustlers, cybernetic second-story men...
Barbie was another one of tho…
"I'm creating the design ideas," Barbie says. "it will definitely take more work to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm creating the design idea…
"This CD contains pictures of Kim Kardashian in the nude. This should remove the virus!" Barbie correctly asserted.
"This CD contains pictures of…
Brian get out of my chair, go look for a damsel in distress. Barbie inserts her back up drive and says, "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it so please run along and leave me to my work you bums."
Brian get out of my chair, go…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to get to school, but I promise I'll try and find a way to fix your laptop later." "You better!" Skipper replies, grinning and hitting Barbie with a pillow, "You're a genius; I'm sure you'll figure it out."
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
The next morning Barbie lets Skipper try out her new game. "You are just too cool, Barbie!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug. "Sorry I was acting strange yesterday morning. I didn't want you to see what I was working on."
The next morning Barbie lets …
If it was left up to the typical horny idiots on the internet, this paragraph would have us graphically screwing each other with monstrous dildos
If it was left up to the typi…
"I broke QC!" said Barbie. "I need to call my friend Ben Ortega, to help me fix it." "If you're looking for Ben, I saw him laying in the driveway." said Skipper "He's been acting really strange lately. I hope he's not completely dead inside because of this awful Minnesota weather!"
"I broke QC!" said Barbie. …
Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the PM teacher. "When you're in a meeting and you have no clue what anybody's talking about, what buzzwords can you use to mask your incompetence?".
Barbie raises her hand. "Yes,…
"I'm only coding up the mechanics," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to do the sounds and graphics!"
"I'm only coding up the mecha…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to get to this Idle No More protest to stop that pipeline. But I promise to find out why all your bee colonies are collapsing" "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a folded flag from their Iraq war vet brother's funeral ceremony.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
‘Now,’ she said, ‘there, see it? Wait. There. There again. And there. Easy to miss. That’s it. Cuts in every hour and twenty minutes with a squirt transmission to their comsat. We could live for a year on what she pays them weekly in negative interest.’ ‘Whose comsat?’ ‘Zurich. Her bankers. That’s her bankbook, Jack. That’s where the money goes. Crow Jane was right.’ I stood there. My arm forgot to click. ‘So how’d you do in New York, partner? You get anything that’ll help me cut ice? We’re going to need whatever we can get.’
‘Now,’ she said, ‘there, see …
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I'll fix your laptop when I get home, if you haven't already fixed it." "I'll try!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"I don't know why you guys are smiling," Barbie warned Steve and Brian as she looked over their commit log. "This shit won't even work in mobile."
"I don't know why you guys ar…
"The FCC is considering a proposal that could inhibit Net Neutrality," Barbie says, laughing. "It's important to me that there is a free and open internet. So I need to find out how I can use my programming and marketing skills to assist this cause."
"The FCC is considering a pro…
"Eating ice cream is an important part of the Software Development Life Cycle," Barbie explained to the reader's amusement or ignorance.
"Eating ice cream is an impor…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "If you want, but my target audience is younger kids," Barbie says, laughing, "So I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to playtest it!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Those fuckheads put all the DOM logic into the controller again! When will they ever learn to abstract this stuff away inside directives and stop bloating our app!" Barbie yells at her computer, "That's it, I'll revoke their write access to our repository!". "Looks like you got a nice flamewar coming up in our IRC channel..." says Skipper while pouring her freshly imported mate tea.
"Those fuckheads put all the …
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