Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"See, you just have to power it off then back on. That always fixes it," said Barbie.
"See, you just have to power …
Barbie sighed, "that's what you get for using the school's default .net license. It's more like free Microsoft advertising. Wait til I get this linux partition up and running."
Barbie sighed, "that's what y…
Wow my iOS game is coming along so well! I'm so happy I was able to accomplish so much after learning how to program in Objective C and Swift in only one day! Its impressive considering my asshole is still completely obliterated from Steven and his 30 inch, one way ticket to pleasure town. Nonrefundable too!
Wow my iOS game is coming alo…
I turned on my laptop and all of a sudden Excel starting making a sound like a lawnmower. I turned off my computer and hit is with my fists until smoke started coming out of it. Can you fix it?
I turned on my laptop and all…
"You expect me to build WHAT with this piece of shit IBM from early 2000?" said Barbie on the first day of class.
"You expect me to build WHAT …
"Do you know what an enterprise service bus is?" asked Barbie. "I can only process four concurrent requests," explained Brian. "I've never programmed with sockets," said Steven.
"Do you know what an enterpri…
"No one will take you seriously in class if you dress like that," says Skipper. "I don't care what they think," laughs Barbie. "When the dead gods of the dark net rise and destroy all life as we know it, no one will remember what I was wearing. They will only remember one thing: Barbie is the High Priestess of the Unseen Lord."
"No one will take you serious…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise after school we can install Red Hat." "We better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"Wait a minute," says Barbie, "you saved all this Pokemon porn as a joke, right? You aren't actually turned on by it, are you?" In anger, Skipper hits her with a pillow. She smiles weakly, trying to play it off as a joke, but she is crying on the inside.
"Wait a minute," says Barbie,…
Barbie tries to upload her design documentation to the team's Dropbox, but it seems she's having connectivity issues. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the router but it still won't connect.
Barbie tries to upload her de…
"Lunch breaks are so much more fun when there's work to be done! Just have to make sure not to spill yogurt on this company laptop, roflmao!"
"Lunch breaks are so much mor…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I can be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"I just upgraded to Yosemite and now nothing works" says Steve. Barbie rolls her eyes - "psychophysicists NEVER upgrade. Have you got a backup? We'll have to roll back."
"I just upgraded to Yosemite …
When Barbie checks Google on Skipper's laptop she finds endless Tom Hiddleston fan sites. 'Don't judge me!' cries Skipper, embracing the laptop as if it was Hiddles himself. 'Erm okay' Said Barbie. 'Can I check my emails now?' 'No I'm just about to finish rendering ' The Adventures of Loki and Snortblat' Get your own!
When Barbie checks Google on …
As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith. "Gaters and their supporters accuse us of ruining games. Are we?" asks Barbie. The teacher grimaces. "In fact, not a single bourgeois movement, not even one for ethics in games journalism, has given the feminine half of the human race either full legal equality with men or freedom from the guardianship and oppression of men."
As soon as class begins, Barb…
I'm gonna HTML the F outta this. Then I'm going to go run for Congress.
I'm gonna HTML the F outta th…
"I can't believe you got that spyware off my computer so fast," exclaims Steven. "It was easy," says Barbie. "I just backed up your files, and installed Debian." "Isn't that Linux? I've never used it before," says Steven. "Any chance you could lend me a manual so I don't have to bother you with newbie questions?"
"I can't believe you got that…
"Holy shit, Barbie; I wish the boss would finally give me three screens to work with. Who did you blow to get this set up?" exclaims Steven. "Your mom," Barbie snaps in exasperation at yet another thoughtless gender-biased cliche. "I"ll get right on that," Steven cries gleefully as he high fives Barbie on his way out the door, completely unaware of how much of a tool he was.
"Holy shit, Barbie; I wish th…
After class, Steven and Brian pass Barbie in the library. "Hey Barbie! Looks like you need some help." Steven says. "Didn't ask, didn't plan to ask." Barbie replies, frantically typing away on the two computers at the same time. "Get on her level, man. Besides, you lost our bet, you can chit chat later." Brian laughs, pushing Steven towards the bathroom. "Later, Barbie!"
After class, Steven and…
"Gem Sarne ftw!!" shouted Skipper. "Totes LOLZ" sniggled Barbie.
"Gem Sarne ftw!!" shouted Ski…
"The cyborg is a matter of fiction and lived experience that changes what counts as women's experience in the late twentieth century," Barbie emails Stephen. "This is a struggle over life and death, but the boundary between science fiction and social reality is an optical illusion."
"The cyborg is a matter of fi…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I've almost finished the RegEx cheat sheet you asked for. Also, check out how I split my keyboard input between two notepads. I don't know why I did that, but it's cool."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
I'm a hacker not a slacker
I'm a hacker not a slacker
"Hello, I'm Barbie! Last of the freelance hackers, greatest sword fighter in the world. Stringer, Central Intelligence Corporation, specializing in software-related intel (music, movies & microcode)."
"Hello, I'm Barbie! Last of t…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. Barbie laughed. "No, it won't. Move."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
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