Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"What the fuck is this optical media Bullshit? Of course your laptop doesn't have a cd drive. They're a waste of space." says Barbie. "Quit being a god damn pleb, Steve, and dd your iso to a flash drive."
"What the fuck is this optica…
Barbie is running the decompiler when suddenly . "Oh shit!" says Barbie. "Looks like there is an extra symbol in this code," Skipper comes over to take a look. "That damned Stephen! I bet he's been trying to insert a Trojan horse in your system," laughs Skipper. "He's probably still mad about that time we wrote "Fuck the Patriarchy" on his laptop with pink marker.
Barbie is running the decompi…
"violence is not the answer, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop."
"violence is not the answer, …
"Oh no!" exclaimed Barbie, jacked into the Matrix on her Ono-Sendai deck. "This Sense/Net ice is some zaibatsu-grade shit. Cracking it will take DAYS."
"Oh no!" exclaimed Barbie, ja…
Barbie tries to upload her design to Steven, but suddenly she sees it's going to take over 1/2 an hour. "This is a huge file and I compressed it so it shouldn't take so long. I hate comcast!" says Barbie. Skipper just happens by and looks over at frustrated Barbie, "you still working on that 3D rendering?"
Barbie tries to upload her de…
"Brian, why are you saving your code on this CD? Just fork Brian and my repository on Github and commit your changes there!"
"Brian, why are you saving yo…
"I can survive without being supported by a man! If I really have to. God forbid...."
"I can survive without being …
"The designer's first draft of the dog avatar is a little rough," says Skipper. "Do you think she just messed up the rendering?" "Let's give her another shot at it," Barbie says.
"The designer's first draft o…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, could you eat my pussy while Brian is massaging my nipples?" That would be so relaxing and really helpful."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "And her other files, as well?" "I've got everything," says Steven. "Now let's retrieve the files from your hard drive. Both laptops will be as good as new in no time!"
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
Barbie stared at the screen in disbelief, dismayed at the mess of lines and boxes. "Seriously, guys? You're doing this in UML?"
Barbie stared at the screen i…
...But it was too late, she'd already seen the browser history...things that couldn't be unseen...
...But it was too late, she'd…
"I'm thankful that you fixed my pc, even if its was your fault in the first place", says Skipper. "I think we both learned valuable lesson about importance of anti virus program", laughs Barbie.
"I'm thankful that you fixed …
"I've created the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "Now if Steven and Brian can help me sneak it by management, we can turn it into a real game!"
"I've created the design idea…
Barbie uploads her files onto the cutest flash drive necklace to ever exist. "Hey Skipper, can I plug this into your laptop to double check everything is there?" Barbie asks. Skipper agrees, but as soon Barbie checks her files Skipper grabs the laptop and cackles maniacally. "Muahaha, now your robot puppy is MINE! ALL MINE!" she shrieks.
Barbie uploads her files onto…
"Fuck off, Brian," Barbie snaps as he reaches once again for the CD that has the source code to her project. "Do your own work." Then she notices Steve tapping on her laptop. "Oh, for Christ's sake, guys. Get the fuck away from my shit. It's not my fault you can't code your way out of a brown paper bag."
"Fuck off, Brian," Barbie sna…
"I want to develop a game to help educate children about the importance of voting," says Barbie. "I'll be working with a team of developers and designers to ensure a pleasant user experience for various ages."
"I want to develop a game to …
"But I'm totally in love!", cries Skipper. "Oh goodness!", says Barbie. "What you are in is a fake, mediated, fantasy relationship. It's a consequence of your dearth of real-world interactions with unmediated, flesh-and-blood humans. We need to throw that laptop in the trash and get you out in the world!"
"But I'm totally in love!", c…
"What the fuck is this!?" Barbie exclaims.
"What the fuck is this!?" Bar…
this is a test
this is a test
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the lab. "Holy fuck, Brian! How the fuck did you fuck up your git repo this badly?" asks Barbie. "And Steven, remind me why the fuck I'm fixing your wifi drivers? You're a god damn CS major and you can't handle Ubuntu." Neither one is listening since they're too busy trying to one up each other.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"My Corel Draw Scrapbook-Spinster" page will be the talk of the interwebz", says Barbara. "Oh, no no, those graphics are officially licensed properties, without net-neutrality you'll never get that past the official corporate internet censors", says Tayler.
"My Corel Draw Scrapbook-Spin…
Fine, I can hear you now Dmitri. ... Clear and plain and coming through fine. ... Good. ... Well, it's good that you're fine and...and I'm fine. ... I agree with you, it's great to be fine. ... A-ha-ha-ha-ha. ... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. ... The BOMB, Dmitri. ... The HYDROGEN bomb! ... Well, now, what happened is...ah...one of our base commanders, he had a sort of...well, he went a little funny in the head. You know...just a little...funny...
Fine, I can hear you now Dmit…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I'm still coding my game... minor details and stuff. Can't hang out right now."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"So you all understand now why it's important to use source control software such as Git or Subversion, but which one do you use for your final project?" Barbie asked the class. Tommy raised his hand, "Professor, my dad said we should use both Git and Subversion on our project." Barbie smiled... that's because your dad is a terrible software architect, Tommy. If he was a lawyer he would be the one chasing ambulances in a polyester suit."
"So you all understand now wh…
more (171 pages)