Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If your computer isn't working good, which man in this class can fix it?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"A CD? Are you two fucking high?" exclaimed Barbie. "2004 called, they want their media back. Honestly, I'm fed up of you amateur douchenozzles"
"A CD? Are you two fucking hi…
"Are you really decided on your app?" Barbie snapped. "Once I've implemented the features you told me to do, there's no asking me 'I don't like it. Can you please change it to something else' kind of stuff. I don't sleep just to get things done fast." Then she took a bite of her ice cream and proceeded on typing code. Barbie is a good touch-typist, rarely looking at her hands as she typed in her IDE.
"Are you really decided on yo…
Barbie tries to upload her design to Dropbox to share with Steven, but her browser is just hanging. "Oh that rubbish ISP!" says Barbie. Barbie pulls up a chat session to chew out the ISP and pinpoint the source of their problem--basically doing the job for the sys admin--while simultaneously backing up her design onto a thumb drive just in case. In the meantime the ISP takes her advice, clears their DNS cache and Barbie's upload succeeds. "Looks like you should be doing their job too," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to upload her de…
"I'm designing it and teaching myself to code too!" Barbie says, laughing. "Luckily the internet is full of places to learn!"
"I'm designing it and teachin…
Barbie gets to computer class and sees that Ms. Smith started the midterm ten minutes early. Later, when the exam ends too soon, Barbie sends an anonymous e-mail complaining about the lost time.
Barbie gets to computer class…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "Let's hope it's not ebola LOL!!" replies Barbie
Barbie tries to email her des…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to the strip club now. But I promise to find a man to fix your laptop." "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
Hands off the cord, douchehair. I don't give a crap about your browser history. If there's porn of it, you've looked at it in the public library.
Hands off the cord, douchehai…
"Guys, seriously." said Barbie. "I'm in the middle of a complicated merge. Can you please cut out the chit-chat and go be productive for a change?"
"Guys, seriously." said Barbi…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I knew I could be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up crashing my laptop--and Skipper's, too! I need to get back the lost files and repair both of our laptops.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Look at this dumb bitch, they both thought. Why doesn't she use a tiling window manager like REAL men do.
Look at this dumb bitch, they…
My new app is like Tinder for female engineers and employers!
My new app is like Tinder for…
"Steven, you've written a bunch of code but no tests," said Barbie. "Why is that a problem?" "Because test driven development verifies that the code works correctly now and protects us from regressions later, you waterfall loving tool."
"Steven, you've written a bun…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says,demon laughing. "Not even god can save you now"
"I'm only creating the design…
Back in the days when internet was still dial-up, Barbie had already familiarized herself with Assembly language, so writing amazing visual effects shaders for her new game was a breeze!
Back in the days when interne…
"this is a game wear i wash my Barbie mobile in a bikini!"
"this is a game wear i wash m…
That Uber jackass wants to doxx journalists for doing their job? I'd rather crawl through broken glass than hire Uber.
That Uber jackass wants to do…
"New record!", Barbie yelled happily as she sat down for breakfast with her organic sheep-yougurt and laptop. It had only taken Barbie two and a have hours to get ready that morning, as opposed to the usual four. It was solely due to the fact that she had only stopped to admire herself in the mirror 72 times. "Back to work." , she cooed to herself with an undeserved sense of accomplishment, as she put the final touches on slide 183 of her presentation.
"New record!", Barbie yelled …
After class, Barbie meets with Brian and Steve in the library. "Hi guys! I tried to send you my files, but I something went wrong. I've been trying to troubleshoot my computer, and I think the issue is with the SATA cable. It's ok though because I have a SATA to USB cable I can use to connect the hard drive externally to one of your computers to retrieve the files. It's just going to take a bit longer than I thought. Why don't you two go get a coffee? I should have this up and running by the time you get back."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "Possibly." says Barbie "But I feel like this may be these old video drivers reacting to the system update I performed last night. Good thing I downloaded the latest ones the other day!" Barbie then booted into safe mode, installed the drivers, and rebooted. The problem disappeared. "Much better!" Barbie said relieved she had found the issue.
Barbie tries to email her des…
Sorry guys, after updating to Metaio SDK 6.0 it seems I have to go through my entire codebase again to deal with all these breaking API changes...
Sorry guys, after updating to…
"I'm only a coffee runner," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to make Depression Quest!"
"I'm only a coffee runner," B…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I meant to send you my designs, but I got a call to try to help the Philae team with one last attempt to revive its batteries, and was distracted. I'll send them now."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
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