Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith Wasn't impressed at all she'll have to give Barbie a zero for the day. Barbie's awful computer skills have ruined the day for both sisters! "I guess I'll never be a computer engineer.." says Barbie sadly before running into the hall. Not even time minutes later she OD on her Oxycontin prescription
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Then do you mean to tell me, Barbie" said Mrs. Smith slowly, "that you will be unable to recall the aircraft?" Barbie looked sheepish. "That's about the size of it."
"Then do you mean to tell me,…
After class, Barbie discusses the group project with Steven and Brian. "Your incompetence is astounding," she says. "I will do both your assignments myself. At the same time."
After class, Barbie discusses…
In a surprise move today, the PARCC consortium decided on binary as the official language for the HS exam. No time for creativity or the arts, but Pearson says kids are jazzed about this 21st century learning!
In a surprise move today, the…
"Is the code on github?" asks Steven Barbie says "Why, yes, it is! You can just go clone the repository if you want to make your own modifications, but you have to run any changes you want to make by me." "What language is it written in?", Brian asks. Barbie says, "It's in C++ and I use OpenGL for visualizations." Brian says, "Oh, you know, you could have done that using Java3d. I use that all the time." Barbies says, "Well, it turned out that wasn't the best option for what I was trying to accomplish. Thanks though!"
"Is the code on github?" ask…
"I spilled yoghurt on my laptop! Derp-a-derp derp!
"I spilled yoghurt on my lapt…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My Brazzers premium account!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fucked my father and saved my pollo!" Skipper gives Barbie a big dildo.
The next morning, Barbie give…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed and coded, having worked for 15 straight hours without sleeping, thanks to the missed deadlines from Steven and Brian, the slacker male coders she'd hired to do the easier parts. Yet she still managed to get it out the door bug free, and even find the time to blow out her hair and put on her favorite frilly heart top and onyx earrings (and polish up the laptop).
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If your computer isn't working good, which man in this class can fix it?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"A CD? Are you two fucking high?" exclaimed Barbie. "2004 called, they want their media back. Honestly, I'm fed up of you amateur douchenozzles"
"A CD? Are you two fucking hi…
"Are you really decided on your app?" Barbie snapped. "Once I've implemented the features you told me to do, there's no asking me 'I don't like it. Can you please change it to something else' kind of stuff. I don't sleep just to get things done fast." Then she took a bite of her ice cream and proceeded on typing code. Barbie is a good touch-typist, rarely looking at her hands as she typed in her IDE.
"Are you really decided on yo…
Barbie tries to upload her design to Dropbox to share with Steven, but her browser is just hanging. "Oh that rubbish ISP!" says Barbie. Barbie pulls up a chat session to chew out the ISP and pinpoint the source of their problem--basically doing the job for the sys admin--while simultaneously backing up her design onto a thumb drive just in case. In the meantime the ISP takes her advice, clears their DNS cache and Barbie's upload succeeds. "Looks like you should be doing their job too," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to upload her de…
"I'm designing it and teaching myself to code too!" Barbie says, laughing. "Luckily the internet is full of places to learn!"
"I'm designing it and teachin…
Barbie gets to computer class and sees that Ms. Smith started the midterm ten minutes early. Later, when the exam ends too soon, Barbie sends an anonymous e-mail complaining about the lost time.
Barbie gets to computer class…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "Let's hope it's not ebola LOL!!" replies Barbie
Barbie tries to email her des…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to the strip club now. But I promise to find a man to fix your laptop." "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
Hands off the cord, douchehair. I don't give a crap about your browser history. If there's porn of it, you've looked at it in the public library.
Hands off the cord, douchehai…
"Guys, seriously." said Barbie. "I'm in the middle of a complicated merge. Can you please cut out the chit-chat and go be productive for a change?"
"Guys, seriously." said Barbi…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "I knew I could be a computer engineer!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up crashing my laptop--and Skipper's, too! I need to get back the lost files and repair both of our laptops.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Look at this dumb bitch, they both thought. Why doesn't she use a tiling window manager like REAL men do.
Look at this dumb bitch, they…
My new app is like Tinder for female engineers and employers!
My new app is like Tinder for…
"Steven, you've written a bunch of code but no tests," said Barbie. "Why is that a problem?" "Because test driven development verifies that the code works correctly now and protects us from regressions later, you waterfall loving tool."
"Steven, you've written a bun…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says,demon laughing. "Not even god can save you now"
"I'm only creating the design…
Back in the days when internet was still dial-up, Barbie had already familiarized herself with Assembly language, so writing amazing visual effects shaders for her new game was a breeze!
Back in the days when interne…
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