Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Could you please tell the DudeBro behind me to put his douchy collar down?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"Can you two please just fuck off already so I can reject your god awful pull requests?"
"Can you two please just fuck…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has no security software, we'll have our child porn in minutes!"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
If the two of you don't stop staring at me while I'm trying to work, I'm going to shove both of these laptops right up your peeholes.
If the two of you don't stop …
"For the last time, bitch-stop going directly to Brian and submit a ticket through Ops!!" yelled Steven the Ops Chief.
"For the last time, bitch-sto…
Oh shoot, I need to upload this code on a Github Page. Luckily I already pushed the code to a git repo for Steven yesterday! Skipper grab me a bite to eat please!
Oh shoot, I need to upload th…
"What the fuck is this, Steve? Did I NOT tell you to save the data in Dropbox? How do you expect me to use this with my MacBook Air?"
"What the fuck is this, Steve…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I can't wait to do this myself!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"But I'm going to have to put this game on hold," said Barbie, with a frown. "I received an important ICQ message from my friends at Anonymous."
"But I'm going to have to put…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Skipper asks. "You're a girl, what do you know about computers, make your self useful and call Steven or Brian! God!" Barbie angrily fumes. Skipper adds more burbon to her smoothy and heads off to her shift at the Help Desk. Shaking her head as she leaves.
Barbie tries to email her des…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Dad's been downloading clop fiction all night" says Barbie. "Who the hell would think that Princess Luna and Pinkie Pie would ever get together? "I hate fucking Bronies," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"It will go faster if I help," says Barbie. "Steven, can you delete system 32 off of the computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "That will definitely make the computer run faster."
"It will go faster if I help,…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "Now I just need to add iAP and get rich!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Uh-oh!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "When did your last run your anti-virus program?" "I've been so busy on this project, I forgot to run the update. Time to do some bug-hunting."
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Oh Barbie!" cries Skipper. "What's wrong sis?" asks Barbie. Skippers eye are red and puffy, she's clearly been crying. "I... I... read Steven and Brian's github." sobs Skipper. "It's the most woeful collection of shitty code I've seen since OpenSSL!"
"Oh Barbie!" cries Skipper. "…
Barbie, please don't put the usb stick in there. I... it hurts a lot.
Barbie, please don't put the …
"This puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "I can build you one with my Raspberry pie." Barbie says, laughing, "I just need to finish this app to find some time for this shit"
"This puppy is so sweet," say…
After class, Steven and Brian see Barbie in the library. But she doesn't notice they are there because she's too engrossed in debugging code.
After class, Steven and Brian…
"Pfft, Barbie should have been a computer scientist writing sick algorithms in Python", Don says to Tim. Tim responds, "or hardware acceleration in an FPGA, but +1 for Python".
"Pfft, Barbie should have bee…
The files are IN the computer?
The files are IN the computer?
"Sorry guys," says Barbie. "I can't go out tonight, I just pirated Dragon Age: Inquisition and I'm trying to get around this shitty Denuvo DRM. Maybe next time."
"Sorry guys," says Barbie. "I…
"It would be really awesome to do this in Fortran and totally confuse everyone!" Barbie says, laughing. "Where the hell are Bryan and Steven?"
"It would be really awesome t…
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"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "I can make us one with my Raspberry pie" Barbie says, laughing, "I just need to finish my app first to have more time for playing around with this shit!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.
He who would learn to fly one…
more (171 pages)