Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"None for me, thanks," says Barbie to Skipper, "I'm trying to finish off this app that integrates Fitbit data to the EC2 using node.js to carry a runtime environment so it'll tweak the user's search results to my Amazon affiliate account!" "You should really consider a PhD in AI like mine, Barbie!" says Skipper. Barbie laughs: "Artificial Learning Engines are SO not my thing, Skip."
"None for me, thanks," says B…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, do you want anything from Starbucks?" "Uh....wait," says Steven. "I offered to help, not do the whole thing for you."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I'm hacking Obama's bedroom webcam for lulz. Watch me Swordfish this shit."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
After listening to the tapes, Barbie exclaims, "Snoop onto them…" "…as they snoop onto us." finishes Steven.
After listening to the tapes,…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "Your computers are jammed with viruses. I'm gonna need to wipe the hard drive." "Can't you just delete System 32?" asks Steven.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
'Look, I think I've got the perfect place online for you to overcome your crippling social ineptitude,' said Barbie. 'It's called Tumblr.'
'Look, I think I've got the p…
It's a UNIX system... I know this!
It's a UNIX system... I know …
"I'm creating the design ideas and my program is great; I just need to work on my 3D modeling," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Stephanie's and Brian's help to turn my program into a real game! They rock the graphics."
"I'm creating the design idea…
Barbie, an application developer, asks the DevOps folks if she can manually install some compiler libraries on the application server. The DevOps team burns the office to the ground.
Barbie, an application develo…
Barbie makes it to computer class just in time to learn about binary arithmatic. She learned the binary system is used internally by almost all modern computers and mobile devices and had a fucking blast learning the long-carry method!
Barbie makes it to computer c…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Could you please tell the DudeBro behind me to put his douchy collar down?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"Can you two please just fuck off already so I can reject your god awful pull requests?"
"Can you two please just fuck…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has no security software, we'll have our child porn in minutes!"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
If the two of you don't stop staring at me while I'm trying to work, I'm going to shove both of these laptops right up your peeholes.
If the two of you don't stop …
"For the last time, bitch-stop going directly to Brian and submit a ticket through Ops!!" yelled Steven the Ops Chief.
"For the last time, bitch-sto…
Oh shoot, I need to upload this code on a Github Page. Luckily I already pushed the code to a git repo for Steven yesterday! Skipper grab me a bite to eat please!
Oh shoot, I need to upload th…
"What the fuck is this, Steve? Did I NOT tell you to save the data in Dropbox? How do you expect me to use this with my MacBook Air?"
"What the fuck is this, Steve…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I can't wait to do this myself!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"But I'm going to have to put this game on hold," said Barbie, with a frown. "I received an important ICQ message from my friends at Anonymous."
"But I'm going to have to put…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Skipper asks. "You're a girl, what do you know about computers, make your self useful and call Steven or Brian! God!" Barbie angrily fumes. Skipper adds more burbon to her smoothy and heads off to her shift at the Help Desk. Shaking her head as she leaves.
Barbie tries to email her des…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Dad's been downloading clop fiction all night" says Barbie. "Who the hell would think that Princess Luna and Pinkie Pie would ever get together? "I hate fucking Bronies," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"It will go faster if I help," says Barbie. "Steven, can you delete system 32 off of the computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "That will definitely make the computer run faster."
"It will go faster if I help,…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit! Barbie's terrific computer skills have saved the day for both sisters! "Now I just need to add iAP and get rich!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Uh-oh!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper. "When did your last run your anti-virus program?" "I've been so busy on this project, I forgot to run the update. Time to do some bug-hunting."
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Oh Barbie!" cries Skipper. "What's wrong sis?" asks Barbie. Skippers eye are red and puffy, she's clearly been crying. "I... I... read Steven and Brian's github." sobs Skipper. "It's the most woeful collection of shitty code I've seen since OpenSSL!"
"Oh Barbie!" cries Skipper. "…
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