Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

It's hard to do your best programming work on an empty stomach. I always eat a healthy breakfast before sitting down to code.
It's hard to do your best pro…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like your laptop isn't pink enough" says Skipper "Everyone knows that girls' laptops have to be pink".
Barbie tries to email her des…
Sorry guys, I can't do the "flirting" thing right now. Oaklands bus is crashing again and I need to sift through these 9 conflicting solutions the vendor provided to decide which one will cause the least damage.
Sorry guys, I can't do the "f…
"Aw, come on.. if you're going to bring up a password dialogue, give it focus!" Barbie stabbed at the tab key, without noticing she had now highlighted CANCEL. "GODDAMMIT. You clown shoes motherfucker!"
"Aw, come on.. if you're goin…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Yes," says Barbie, "You can test it out. I'd be interested in getting feedback on the user interface. I'm worried it might not be intuitive enough. Also, since you have a lot experience with html, css and php, I was wondering if I could recruit you to build the website for the game."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Jesus-fucking-Christ Brian!!! Why the hell is this ability system recursive? Here, let me fix this," bellows Barbie.
"Jesus-fucking-Christ Brian!!…
It's a UNIX system. I know this!
It's a UNIX system. I know th…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to run off to school now. But I promise to find a way to fix your laptop." "You better!" Skipper replies as she hits Barbie with a pillow. ”If not, this pillow will be super-glued to your face tonight while I reformat your hard drive and install Windows ME!"
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas right," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need to lead a software-engineering team to turn it into a real game. I'm hiring Maggie Epps as my developer and Jane Hanley as my product manager."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"It will go faster if we all work together," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it."
"It will go faster if we all …
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If this book is actually about how girls CAN'T be computer engineers, then why do they have a woman teacher?" asks Barbie. "That's a very good question, Barbie. You see, women are only allowed in male professions if it's to TEACH that profession." "Oh!" it dawned on Barbie. "I get it now!"
Barbie makes it to computer c…
“I had no idea Barbie could type one-handed on two computers at the same time! That's so cool!” exclaims Steven. The boys are impressed.
“I had no idea Barbie could t…
"Man that Brian sure is a colossal fuck up! Who passes the same object around to over 2700 classes and thinks that's a good idea? Man it's a good thing we fixed his shit, eh Steven?" says Barbie.
"Man that Brian sure is a col…
"These sketches are great," says Skipper. "Can I help you with some storyboards?" "Yes!" Barbie says, laughing, "Let's plan out a whole level."
"These sketches are great," s…
lets use this ipod cord to connect these laptops... *stephen and brian take pictures of the stupidity*
lets use this ipod cord to co…
"Who put this puppy and rainbow shit on my laptop?" Barbie said.
"Who put this puppy and rainb…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian to help with their new app that keeps crashing. "Whoa, hold up guys," says Barbie. "I'm seeing calls from a bunch of different threads. You know this data structure isn't threadsafe, right?"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm the one making the game," Barbie says, laughing. "Steven and Brian are just idea guys. I threw their napkin scribbles in the garbage."
"I'm the one making the game,…
Awesome! I just got a ton of Reddit Gold after posting pictures of my butthole to /r/gonewild.
Awesome! I just got a ton of …
Barbie's doctor always makes small talk and asks how school is going, so Barbie brought in her computer to show a game she created. Her doctor asks her if her next project can be a web app that lets you design your own lab coats.
Barbie's doctor always makes …
"I'm a senior software engineer! I focus on writing core technologies, but I also enjoy mentoring junior engineers," Barbie says, grinning. "I'll need to pay extra special attention to Steven and Brian's work, since they are inexperienced and don't yet understand the complexities of large systems!"
"I'm a senior software engine…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Stephanie and Becky's help to turn it into a real game!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Monica!!!!
Monica!!!!
"Why don't you guys go shopping or something? I've clearly got this covered."
"Why don't you guys go shoppi…
"Hi Barbie!" says Steven. "0100100001100101011011000110110001101111" replies Barbie. "What was that?" asks Brian. "Oh sorry," says Barbie "I've been coding for so long I've started to talk in binary!" They all laugh heartily.
"Hi Barbie!" says Steven. "01…
more (170 pages)