Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Wait doesn't everyone type on two keyboards at the same time" asked Barbie
"Wait doesn't everyone type o…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "Just need to refactor these shell scripts, redeploy dev, take an image, update Jira and then I'm free to install that screensaver for you."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Is it ethical to have sex with a robot dog?
Is it ethical to have sex wit…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If your computer gets a virus and crashes, Can the '80s looking guy with the upturned collar retrieve all the files you lost?" asks Barbie. "Also, do my legs so seem freakishly long to you, or is it just me?"
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"With these mods I just coded, I can run & monitor the entire bioinformatics & biostatistics pipeline from my kitchen table", says Barbie.
"With these mods I just coded…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "As long as you blow me beneath the desk and call me big pappa for the rest of the week.."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
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I'm not finished with the code yet. When it is ready you can help me by playing with the beta version and giving me feedback.
I'm not finished with the cod…
"This looks awesome," says Skipper. "Is it your business, then?" "I'm only creating it," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven & Brian to talk to investors who are afraid of women."
"This looks awesome," says Sk…
"Computers are hard!" Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need a boy's help to do anything other than Facebook!"
"Computers are hard!" Barbie …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly she remembers that she never learned anything in life because she always used her good looks to get other people to do things for her. Skipper nods at her and says "Just make Steven drive over here, you still have him in the friend zone right?"
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Why are we all still in high school?" thought Barbie to herself, "I look at least twenty years old". Little did she know that all of the students had died long ago - apart from the black one in the back. He's got the brains of a nigger, and got held back 7 grades.
"Why are we all still in high…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Please leave me alone, guys," says Barbie. "I'm trying to fix your code."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Its done!" Barbie exclaims, hitting enter. "Soon my program will be in its terminal phase, destabilizing patriarchal systems of violence and injustice around the world." she giggled. "That sounds swell." said Samantha, eating a balanced meal.
"Its done!" Barbie exclaims, …
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop! "You saved by pictures and videos!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
" Looks like we finally did it!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "We finally fought stereotypes after Mattel screwed up AGAIN?" Now you no longer look like a deranged blonde infecting computers with viruses," says Steven. "Right on! Now let me just change out of this pink cardigan, and wipe the gravity defying make-up off my face".
" Looks like we finally did i…
It seems that you've been living two lives. One life, you're Skipper, high school student. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you... help your Mom carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias "Trinity" and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not.
It seems that you've been liv…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need a boy's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"Its done!" Barbie exclaims, hitting enter. "Soon my program will be in its terminal phase, destabilizing patriarchal systems of violence and injustice around the world." she giggled. "That sounds swell." said Samantha, making a healthy shake.
"Its done!" Barbie exclaims, …
"It will go faster if Brian and I help, not because I think you're not as capable as us... indeed, your gender has nothing to do with how good at computers you are. Instead, I'm offering to help only because many hands make light work" offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"I'm telecommuting from the 3rd floor break room - if I'm at my desk I just get interrupted all the time and if I work from home I don't have all this fresh fruit and free coffee. Don't tell the team. "
"I'm telecommuting from the 3…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real game! foo"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"This hand touching thing is completely inappropriate," exclaimed Barbie. "Tell anyone and you'll never get a job in this industry again," said Steven.
"This hand touching thing is …
"Why the fuck are we still using AOL" asked Barbie.
"Why the fuck are we still us…
"But, Professor Snugglesworth," asks Skipper, "where will I hide the bodies?" The drawing laughs in its guttural voice. "THE ONE PLACE NOBODY WILL EVER FIND THEM, MY CHILD. INSIDE YOURSELF." She nods. "COME. LET US PREPARE THE RITUAL."
"But, Professor Snugglesworth…
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