Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Steven, why are you jamming that old-school VGA port into a random blue box and what the fuck is this AOL CD doing here!? These laptops look like they are from 2001! I can’t compile a “Hello World” app on this shit. Christ, I’m transferring to Waterloo.
Steven, why are you jamming t…
"I'm getting an 'index out of bounds' error, but I don't see why," Steven says. "Let's take a look," says Barbie. Steven looks on as Barbie steps through the code line by line. "Here," she says, pointing to the screen. "Your 'for' loop ends with '<= array.length' instead of just '<'. Since arrays index from 0, and the length counts from 1, on the last time through it's looking for an index that isn't there. "Oh, I see it now. Thanks Barbie, you really saved my ass."
"I'm getting an 'index out of…
I think I've figured it out! To track referral traffic to our site from a 301 redirect, we'll use a UTM code in the forwarding URL. That way it shows up on the Analytics dashboard as campaign-driven traffic. We can finally see how many people still use our old URL!
I think I've figured it out! …
As Barbie writes the software that will make the male sex chromosome and all men obsolete, Steven and Brian imagine that she is making them a delicious sandwich.
As Barbie writes the software…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Well fuck that" said Barbie,"I don't need your help."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing, "I need some Red Bull; this will take awhile."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
And they are dancing, the board floor slamming under the jackboots and the fiddlers grinning hideously over their canted pieces. Towering over them all is the judge and he is naked dancing, his small feet lively and quick and now in doubletime and bowing to the ladies, huge and pale and hairless, like an enormous infant. He never sleeps, he says. He says he'll never die. He bows to the fiddlers and sashays backwards and throws back his head and laughs deep in his throat and he is a great favorite, the judge. He wafts his hat and the lunar dome of his skull passes palely under the lamps and he swings about and takes possession of one of the fiddles and he pirouettes and makes a pass, two passes, dancing and fiddling all at once. His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.
And they are dancing, the boa…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Why are you wearing a lab coat in a computer class?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I only creating the design," Barbie says, laughing, "I still have to do the programming to make it playable"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "What's with all the kiddie porn?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"I'm planning a hostile takeover," Barbie says, laughing. "Steven and Brian don't suspect a thing!"
"I'm planning a hostile takeo…
"I wrote a great game in class and am turning it into an app you can load on your phone," Barbie said. "Would you like to be my beta tester, Skipper?"
"I wrote a great game in clas…
We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.
We are merely exchanging long…
"I'm getting an 'index out of bounds' error, but I see why," Steven says. "Let's take a look," says Barbie. Steven looks on as Barbie steps through the code line by line. "Here," she says, pointing to the screen. "Your 'for' loop ends with '<= array.length' instead of just '<'. Since arrays index from 0, and the length counts from 1, on the last time through it's looking for an index that isn't there. "Oh, I see it now. Thanks Barbie, you really saved my ass."
"I'm getting an 'index out of…
"WTF is this shit? Someone jammed a coaster into my computer!" "WTF?", asked Steve, "There's a hole in the middle, worst coaster ever!"
"WTF is this shit? Someone ja…
... the Old or Ancient Ones, the Elder Gods, of cosmic good, and those of cosmic evil, bearing many names, and themselves of different groups, as if associated with the elements and yet transcending them: for there are the Water Beings.
... the Old or Ancient Ones, …
After extensive A/B testing, Barbie has nailed down the problem with the UX of her new project. Time for a brainstorming session with Skipper to come up with solutions!
After extensive A/B testing, …
"Whatever bitch", Steven interjected. "Brian was just being nice." Barbie sighed and resigned herself to the conversation. "No," she replied. "No, he wasn't. He was trying to fuck me. He was marginalizing what I am capable of."
"Whatever bitch", Steven inte…
ANYTHING. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES THIS DRIVEL.
ANYTHING. LITERALLY ANYTHING …
"No Barbie, you can stop copying my code off of my computer screen. I use github now," said Skipper.
"No Barbie, you can stop copy…
The next morning, Kari gives her sister a big surprise. Kari turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost photos!" cries Michelle. "You are just too cool, Kari! you fixed my computer and saved my photos!" Michelle gives Kari a big hug.
The next morning, Kari gives …
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I have to go to work and face constant judgement about issues that have nothing to do with my ability to do my job in hopes that someday I can help make it possible for you not to endure this bullshit." "You better!" Skipper replies as she playfully hits Barbie with a pillow.
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
Sarah: "Did you know that Alloy is a modeling language based on a first-order relational logic with transitive closure? It translates the input model into an equisatisfiable Boolean formula and uses an off-the-shelf SAT solver to generate a satisfying instance or an unsatisfiable core. It is sound and complete up to the bound on the size of the domains in the universe, and it is fully automatic!" Alice: "Yay~ Let's hug and kiss"
Sarah: "Did you know that All…
I only put on the glasses so I can see the detail on this screen, who knew you could get 4k porn
I only put on the glasses so …
"Barbie, you passed. The rest of you will work for Microsoft." said Ms. Smith. "This is MISANDRY!" cried Steven from the back of the class. "01110011 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100010 01100001 01101100 01101100 01110011!" said Barbie.
"Barbie, you passed. The rest…
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