Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"I'm creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Carla's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm creating the design idea…
Barbie tries to test her physics engine tweaks, but then realizes that Steven broke the build right before going offline for the day. "Honestly, how does 'fixed stuff' qualify as an appropriate check-in comment, anyway?"
Barbie tries to test her phys…
"Jesus screaming Christ, Barbie," says Skipper. "Is this the new simplified Gnome 4 user interface?" "It will be, once I remove eyes and ears too."
"Jesus screaming Christ, Barb…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Let's start with the foot pedal - why isn't it working?"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie tries to email her design to Susan, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my advanced calculus homework!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
"Tee-Hee", giggles Skipper. "I told you that we could earn a lot of money by installing that webcam and charging a subscription!"
"Tee-Hee", giggles Skipper. "…
Barbie accidentally discovers her friend is into some weird shit.
Barbie accidentally discovers…
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I know this, it's a unix system
I know this, it's a unix syst…
"It's weird that you like computers and stuff", Brian said. "I mean, it's cool I guess. You could do...like...apps or something." Barbie gave a quick terse smile then returned to typing. Brian continued. "I mean, you just seem too hot to be into that." Barbie paused and collected herself before replying, "I'm a bit busy. Unless you can help me figure out why my spreadsort is crashing in Gentoo, then I really don't have time."
"It's weird that you like com…
Nice display! I bet it looks crispy in the dark.
Nice display! I bet it looks …
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Susan and Becky's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it boots systemd! "My GNU/Linux laptop!" cries Skipper. "What the fuck did you do to it?"
The next morning, Barbie give…
Brian and Steve are totally unaware that the DVD Barbie is holding contains video footage of them having sex with the gym teacher under the bleachers.
Brian and Steve are totally u…
Barbie flashes her teacher a winsome smile with the hope that she'll be excused so she can figure out what is wrong with her legs.
Barbie flashes her teacher a …
In computer class, Barbie presents her game. "Wow, that's super lame," the teacher laughed. "But I'm holding my clipboard backward, so whatever." The teacher gave everyone lollipops and stickers while they played Barbie's lame game.
In computer class, Barbie pre…
"Hey, Skipper, make me some iced tea", says Barbie. "What? Make it yourself", says Skipper. "Sudo make me some iced tea", says Barbie. "Oh, okay"
"Hey, Skipper, make me some i…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. We kicked Cloudlock to the curb. We are now Bettercloud customers!
The next morning, Barbie give…
"Oh my God!", said Barbie. Do you guys *really* run Windows?
"Oh my God!", said Barbie. Do…
things i'm good at: not knowing when to stop
things i'm good at: not knowi…
At computer class, Barbie got to present her game. Ms. Smith is impressed by the polished result, and comments that Barbie might do well in this field if she wanted to. "Yes, I really did enjoy it! Maybe I'll do it as a job one day..." says Barbie.
At computer class, Barbie got…
"Barbie, did you look at the error?" "Fixed, I've pushed to git and deployed already", Barbie says, "It was a small thing, next time rtfm before asking me!"
"Barbie, did you look at the …
After class, Steven and Brian run into Barbie in the library. Not only is she hot as fuck, but she's skipped cheer practice to bang out some assembly code on three computers simultaneously. Steven brags, "Sup bitch. I just added 'Proficient in Microsoft Office' to my resume!" Not about to be one-upped, Brian pipes in, "Well, I've decided to pursue a career as a Social Media Expert!" Barbie shakes her head. "Morons."
After class, Steven and Brian…
??? ??? FEMALE PROGRAMMERS ARENT REAL
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more (170 pages)