Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

I could swear someone pissed in this coffee. Oh, hey, what's this thing with a glowing screen? It's telling me to listen to Pat Boone and eat my own face.
I could swear someone pissed …
Holy shit,
Holy shit,
"The O'Reilly books are really going downhill fast, eh Barb?"
"The O'Reilly books are reall…
When Barbie opened Skipper's laptop to check her hotmail, the browser was opened on www.adultfriendfinder.com. "What's this?" says Barbie. "LOL UM LET ME SEE MY COMPUTER PLEASE GET AWAY" cries Skipper.
When Barbie opened Skipper's …
"Your robot puppy is so...I dunno...simple," says Skipper. "Can I collaborate on your game?" "I'm only creating the code," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real design!"
"Your robot puppy is so...I d…
"God damnit Brian and Stephen" Barbie exclaimed. "How many times do I have to show you how to use the fucking ruby queue?"
"God damnit Brian and Stephen…
"Has anyone seen my teenage son?" Barbie asked. "He was here yesterday."
"Has anyone seen my teenage s…
"I get it." She continued. "You're used to a world where the only value women have is in service to you. What you don't understand is that I can have power, understanding, and influence orders of magnitude greater than you two can conceive of. I can control god damn worlds with these things. You want me? Great. But please bring more to the table than a limp dick and an attitude."
"I get it." She continued. "Y…
Barbie is busy testing a race condition in her latest web app for her new startup! Steve and Brian just want to drink beer and bother her. "Go play ping pong instead, assholes," Barbie says. "I have a real job to do."
Barbie is busy testing a race…
You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? Well, let me explain the New World Order. Governments and corporations need people like you and me. We are Samurai... the Keyboard Cowboys... and all those other people who have no idea what's going on are the cattle... Moooo.
You wanted to know who I am, …
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" mansplained Brian.
"Have you tried turning it of…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Goddammit, Steven!" says Barbie. "This laptop doesn't even have an optical drive, what am I supposed to do with this?"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"You've got this, Barbie, you're the top student in our class!" exclaims Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer? I can take care of the rest." "Sure!" says Steven. "Great idea, Barbie! The library computer has excellent security software to protect it."
"You've got this, Barbie, you…
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?", mansplained Brian.
"Have you tried turning it of…
Hi guys! Will you stop asking me for nudes every time I come to the library, you nerds need to get a life. Can't you see I'm trying to study.
Hi guys! Will you stop askin…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I just comitted the latest tweaks to Tortoise. Are you ready for testing?
After class, Barbie meets wit…
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After class, Steven and Brian catch Barbie in the library. "Hi Barbie", says Steven. "Please shut the fuck up Steven," says Barbie, calmly, "Can't you see I'm doing a forensics analysis of this laptop?"
After class, Steven and Brian…
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The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.adsf
The next morning, Barbie give…
Barbie is busy testing a networking race condition in her latest enterprise app. "Steve and Brian, go play drink your beers at the ping pong table and leave me alone. I actually do my job."
Barbie is busy testing a netw…
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"Oh no!" says Barbie. "Is that an Ubuntu pen drive? Back the fuck off, my laptop runs NetBSD!"
"Oh no!" says Barbie. "Is tha…
"I'm creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "And now I turn it into a real game!"
"I'm creating the design idea…
At the new business presentation, Cailin presented the work Sharon and Advika had to do in the evening, since she'd majorly dropped the ball. The prospect thoughtfully took notes on her RFP and said she'd be in touch. Cailin yelped, "Looks like I can be an Account Director!"
At the new business presentat…
more (171 pages)