Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"I get it." She continued. "You're used to a world where the only value women have is in service to you. What you don't understand is that I can have power, understanding, and influence orders of magnitude greater than you two can conceive of. I can control god damn worlds with these things. You want me? Great. But please bring more to the table than a limp dick and an attitude."
"I get it." She continued. "Y…
Barbie is busy testing a race condition in her latest web app for her new startup! Steve and Brian just want to drink beer and bother her. "Go play ping pong instead, assholes," Barbie says. "I have a real job to do."
Barbie is busy testing a race…
You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? Well, let me explain the New World Order. Governments and corporations need people like you and me. We are Samurai... the Keyboard Cowboys... and all those other people who have no idea what's going on are the cattle... Moooo.
You wanted to know who I am, …
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" mansplained Brian.
"Have you tried turning it of…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Goddammit, Steven!" says Barbie. "This laptop doesn't even have an optical drive, what am I supposed to do with this?"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"You've got this, Barbie, you're the top student in our class!" exclaims Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer? I can take care of the rest." "Sure!" says Steven. "Great idea, Barbie! The library computer has excellent security software to protect it."
"You've got this, Barbie, you…
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?", mansplained Brian.
"Have you tried turning it of…
Hi guys! Will you stop asking me for nudes every time I come to the library, you nerds need to get a life. Can't you see I'm trying to study.
Hi guys! Will you stop askin…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I just comitted the latest tweaks to Tortoise. Are you ready for testing?
After class, Barbie meets wit…
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After class, Steven and Brian catch Barbie in the library. "Hi Barbie", says Steven. "Please shut the fuck up Steven," says Barbie, calmly, "Can't you see I'm doing a forensics analysis of this laptop?"
After class, Steven and Brian…
PORN
…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer and saved my homework!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.adsf
The next morning, Barbie give…
Barbie is busy testing a networking race condition in her latest enterprise app. "Steve and Brian, go play drink your beers at the ping pong table and leave me alone. I actually do my job."
Barbie is busy testing a netw…
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"Oh no!" says Barbie. "Is that an Ubuntu pen drive? Back the fuck off, my laptop runs NetBSD!"
"Oh no!" says Barbie. "Is tha…
"I'm creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "And now I turn it into a real game!"
"I'm creating the design idea…
At the new business presentation, Cailin presented the work Sharon and Advika had to do in the evening, since she'd majorly dropped the ball. The prospect thoughtfully took notes on her RFP and said she'd be in touch. Cailin yelped, "Looks like I can be an Account Director!"
At the new business presentat…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Fuck No!" Barbies said as she walked out the door I dont need your help.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Which meat-fisted degenerate wrote this atrocious impersonation of a callback handler?" seethed Barbie. "Oh wait, it was me."
"Which meat-fisted degenerate…
MALE CHAUVINIST PIG ?
MALE CHAUVINIST PIG …
"Your test results are in, Barbie," said Dr. Troy, "you have all of the kinds of herpes." Barbie smiled and showed Dr. Troy her computer screen and said, "Look at this puppy!"
"Your test results are in, Ba…
All the speed she took, all the turns she'd taken and the corners she'd cut in Night City, and still she'd see the matrix in her sleep, bright lattices of logic unfolding across that colorless void...
All the speed she took, all t…
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen starts blinking. "Oh, I can fix that," Barbie says. "Let me try turning it on and off." When she turned it off, she ejected the USB. She turned it back on, and everything was fine. "You had this formatted for Windows, didn't you?" she asked Skipper.
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says Barbie. "I tried the lesbian thing once and it just isn't for me." "You haven't tried it with me!" Skipper replies as she hits Barbie with a pillow."Now show me your tits!!"
"I'm so sorry, Skipper," says…
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