Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I tried to send you my designs but my drive crashed so I've been isolating the data, purging and rebuilding the file structure before I can send it. I am so going to kick Ken's ass for using that necklace flash drive on my laptop before I had a chance to V-scan it!"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If your computer gets a virus and crashes, how can you retrieve all the files you lost?" asks Barbie. "You need to install Gentoo", replies Ms. Smith.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
This is our world now... the …
Dude Barbie, stop farting so loud in the library. It's embarrassing.
Dude Barbie, stop farting so …
"If I type Ctrl-H on this Chromebook, and simultaneously hold down Caps look on this netbook, I should be able to cause an array of hex codes to appear on this external monitor," thought Barbie.
"If I type Ctrl-H on this Chr…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If apt-get fucks up your dev box, how can you retrieve all the files you lost?" asks Barbie. "Just use BSD. Or are you still using that Bubuntu stuff?"
Barbie makes it to computer c…
Barbie is trying to farm mid but the enemy Sniper won't let her. "Whats the problem, sis?", asks her sister. "????? ????" she says as she dies for the tenth time.
Barbie is trying to farm mid …
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "A sovereign dreadnaught breathes, and approach the state serene" Barbie says, laughing. "Interiorizer of the mind from world labyrinth "
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "Have you noticed that literally everyone here is on Facebook?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"HAPPY INTERNATIONAL MEN'S DAY!" "FUCK YEA- wait what"
"HAPPY INTERNATIONAL MEN'S DA…
I could swear someone pissed in this coffee. Oh, hey, what's this thing with a glowing screen? It's telling me to listen to Pat Boone and eat my own face.
I could swear someone pissed …
Holy shit,
Holy shit,
"The O'Reilly books are really going downhill fast, eh Barb?"
"The O'Reilly books are reall…
When Barbie opened Skipper's laptop to check her hotmail, the browser was opened on www.adultfriendfinder.com. "What's this?" says Barbie. "LOL UM LET ME SEE MY COMPUTER PLEASE GET AWAY" cries Skipper.
When Barbie opened Skipper's …
"Your robot puppy is so...I dunno...simple," says Skipper. "Can I collaborate on your game?" "I'm only creating the code," Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real design!"
"Your robot puppy is so...I d…
"God damnit Brian and Stephen" Barbie exclaimed. "How many times do I have to show you how to use the fucking ruby queue?"
"God damnit Brian and Stephen…
"Has anyone seen my teenage son?" Barbie asked. "He was here yesterday."
"Has anyone seen my teenage s…
"I get it." She continued. "You're used to a world where the only value women have is in service to you. What you don't understand is that I can have power, understanding, and influence orders of magnitude greater than you two can conceive of. I can control god damn worlds with these things. You want me? Great. But please bring more to the table than a limp dick and an attitude."
"I get it." She continued. "Y…
Barbie is busy testing a race condition in her latest web app for her new startup! Steve and Brian just want to drink beer and bother her. "Go play ping pong instead, assholes," Barbie says. "I have a real job to do."
Barbie is busy testing a race…
You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? Well, let me explain the New World Order. Governments and corporations need people like you and me. We are Samurai... the Keyboard Cowboys... and all those other people who have no idea what's going on are the cattle... Moooo.
You wanted to know who I am, …
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" mansplained Brian.
"Have you tried turning it of…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Goddammit, Steven!" says Barbie. "This laptop doesn't even have an optical drive, what am I supposed to do with this?"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"You've got this, Barbie, you're the top student in our class!" exclaims Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer? I can take care of the rest." "Sure!" says Steven. "Great idea, Barbie! The library computer has excellent security software to protect it."
"You've got this, Barbie, you…
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?", mansplained Brian.
"Have you tried turning it of…
Hi guys! Will you stop asking me for nudes every time I come to the library, you nerds need to get a life. Can't you see I'm trying to study.
Hi guys! Will you stop askin…
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