Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Barbie hands Lennart and Kay her systemd source code. "Make sure that device hotplug is broken on kernels before 3.12 - that will really annoy the patriarchy!"
Barbie hands Lennart and Kay …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Blue ‘o’ poured the engineer’s voice. Whstlin’ down low ‘n piped like clacks. By the ol’ scarecrow ‘n pots ‘n pans burn the fireman’s hands till the Kettle leaped fire round the belly ‘o’ The bayou boy bums with sunken gums ‘n pits his strength to the 7th sons down!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"HE POSTED NAKED PICTURES OF ME ON INSTAGRAM! MY LIFE IS RUINED!" cried Skipper. "Oh dear!" exclaimed Barbie. "I thought you knew better than that. But don't worry; because you are underage those pictures are actually child pornography. We can get them taken down and have that asshole sent to jail."
"HE POSTED NAKED PICTURES OF …
Presentation in hand, Barbie approached her co-wokers, Tyrone and Nathan. Although Barbie has only been at the company for two months and her co-workers had been there for years, Barbie felt deep down that she knew so much more than both of them and had no problems telling them what to do. "Ok guys." Barbie commanded, "I need your undivided attention for the next couple hours".
Presentation in hand, Barbie …
I'll create A GOOEY INTERFACE in visual basic to track the killer's IP address.
I'll create A GOOEY INTERFAC…
"Holy fuck, the NSA knows where I am! Listen kid, you never saw me."
"Holy fuck, the NSA knows whe…
You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? ... Well, let me explain the New World Order....
You wanted to know who I am,…
"I'm plotting the feminist takeover of the Linux ecosystem", giggles Barbie. "Once systemd is everywhere, men won't be able to use computers!"
"I'm plotting the feminist ta…
"After I'm done with my black hat blog post, I'm going to hack in Jame's bank account and make him cry like a little bitch; and just in time for the holidays too!"
"After I'm done with my black…
"Brian and Steven are such air-heads, they think they know everything! They think I'm only creating the design ideas, but my game is gonna be the best, and theirs will suck" Barbie says, laughing. "Steven and Brian will probably end up needing my help to make their game work!"
"Brian and Steven are such ai…
Fuck coding. What a pain in the ass it is to write this boring and weird stuff just so that people can express their stupid selves!
Fuck coding. What a pain in t…
"Those JPEGs were private!" cries Skipper. "Can't unsee!" wails Barbie, "Can't unsee!"
"Those JPEGs were private!" c…
"Let me mansplain this to you," says Steven. "I think I know how to put a disc into a disc drive," Barbie says. "But how will your tiny little girl hands manage to get the disc in?" Steven asks. "P*** off Steven," Barbie replies.
"Let me mansplain this to you…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "OK - which of you jokers broke the build," she asked. "I know we need a better process - but I do wish you wouldn't wait till the last minute to check stuff in." Barbie concentrated for a second, This was the last working build, now lets try merging these new changes in one at a time and running the tests.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm a Steve now, Barbie!" Skipper ejaculated. "Calm the fuck down," Barbie replied.
"I'm a Steve now, Barbie!" Sk…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie starts her debugger and attaches to the likely culprit. Skipper looks over the code and says, "Hey, I think there's a buffer overflow on line 562!"
Barbie tries to email her des…
Barbie tried to focus. 'Another day, another SQL injection flaw' she sighed gently, 'some things never change' she muttered to herself.
Barbie tried to focus. 'Ano…
Parapliers the willow dipped. Rolled roots gnarled like rakers. This hollow hole don’t hold no jokers or fakers. Don’t fall by no jokers or fakers. Puller down to the stirrin’ hay acres. Parapliers pinches uh levy ‘n pulled way thru the toe.
Parapliers the willow dipped.…
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen starts blinking. "Don't worry sis!" says Skipper. "Everything is backed up on iCloud, so no worries." "Skipper, you should really use DropBox" Barbie laughs. "As a Nexus owner I'd think you'd value the greater cross-platform and third-party app integration abilities of DropBox vs iCloud, tbh"
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
"Barbie, I know you are more than capable of fixing this on your own, but I'd feel terrible if I didn't offer to help. Is there anything I can do?" asked Steven. "Certainly," replied Barbie, "You can plug the hard drive into the library's computer. Brian, would you be so kind as to get me a cup of coffee?"
"Barbie, I know you are more …
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Barbie sits in class, expecting to learn about different sorting algorithms, but this is a surprise! "That crazy bitch is just projecting random binary strings again," Barbie thinks to herself.
Barbie sits in class, expecti…
"Thanks for teaching me those cool CSS tricks Barbie, no offense but you never struck me as someone who's interested in coding." Kevin admitted sheepishly. "That's ok, Kevin, I just hope you keep an open mind going forward, instead of putting people in a box. Stereotypes suck!" Said Barbie. "Yeah they do!" Kevin exclaimed, giving Barbie a high-five.
"Thanks for teaching me those…
"Barbie, every kid in the District was issued a Chromebook" says Ms. Smith, the teacher. "What are you whining about?" "Technology in the classroom without an effective curriculum is just stupid," says Barbie. "What about infrastructure? These walls haven't been painted since the 80's."
"Barbie, every kid in the Dis…
"Barbie, you've been up for 24 hours working on that kernel bug, and you need to sleep!" said Skipper. "Get that thing away from me!" said Barbie, "I just need another espresso."
"Barbie, you've been up for 2…
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