Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"500 tickets in the Petware bucket? Well time to go on PTO for a month and let Sean handle it."
"500 tickets in the Petware b…
"Dammit, this wool sweater generates static electricity like a persian cat getting road-hauled down a mile of shag carpet. Without a grounding strap, I'm going to fry the motherboard for sure," said Barbie. "No problem," said Steven, "you can discharge by high-fiving me." "Nerdy, but whatever, " said Barbie.
"Dammit, this wool sweater ge…
Let's go hacking some toys!
Let's go hacking some toys!
"Thanks for that pull request, it fixed everything!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "Even that weird heisenbug?" "Seems like it," says Steven. "it didn't occur anymore. Now show me how to schedule a release build!"
"Thanks for that pull request…
did some ms08 on that shit. rekt
did some ms08 on that shit. r…
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK FIRST" exclaimed Skipper.
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK …
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK FIRST" exclaimed Skipper.
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK …
Barbie hands Lennart and Kay her systemd source code. "Make sure that device hotplug is broken on kernels before 3.12 - that will really annoy the patriarchy!"
Barbie hands Lennart and Kay …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Blue ‘o’ poured the engineer’s voice. Whstlin’ down low ‘n piped like clacks. By the ol’ scarecrow ‘n pots ‘n pans burn the fireman’s hands till the Kettle leaped fire round the belly ‘o’ The bayou boy bums with sunken gums ‘n pits his strength to the 7th sons down!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"HE POSTED NAKED PICTURES OF ME ON INSTAGRAM! MY LIFE IS RUINED!" cried Skipper. "Oh dear!" exclaimed Barbie. "I thought you knew better than that. But don't worry; because you are underage those pictures are actually child pornography. We can get them taken down and have that asshole sent to jail."
"HE POSTED NAKED PICTURES OF …
Presentation in hand, Barbie approached her co-wokers, Tyrone and Nathan. Although Barbie has only been at the company for two months and her co-workers had been there for years, Barbie felt deep down that she knew so much more than both of them and had no problems telling them what to do. "Ok guys." Barbie commanded, "I need your undivided attention for the next couple hours".
Presentation in hand, Barbie …
I'll create A GOOEY INTERFACE in visual basic to track the killer's IP address.
I'll create A GOOEY INTERFAC…
"Holy fuck, the NSA knows where I am! Listen kid, you never saw me."
"Holy fuck, the NSA knows whe…
You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? ... Well, let me explain the New World Order....
You wanted to know who I am,…
"I'm plotting the feminist takeover of the Linux ecosystem", giggles Barbie. "Once systemd is everywhere, men won't be able to use computers!"
"I'm plotting the feminist ta…
"After I'm done with my black hat blog post, I'm going to hack in Jame's bank account and make him cry like a little bitch; and just in time for the holidays too!"
"After I'm done with my black…
"Brian and Steven are such air-heads, they think they know everything! They think I'm only creating the design ideas, but my game is gonna be the best, and theirs will suck" Barbie says, laughing. "Steven and Brian will probably end up needing my help to make their game work!"
"Brian and Steven are such ai…
Fuck coding. What a pain in the ass it is to write this boring and weird stuff just so that people can express their stupid selves!
Fuck coding. What a pain in t…
"Those JPEGs were private!" cries Skipper. "Can't unsee!" wails Barbie, "Can't unsee!"
"Those JPEGs were private!" c…
"Let me mansplain this to you," says Steven. "I think I know how to put a disc into a disc drive," Barbie says. "But how will your tiny little girl hands manage to get the disc in?" Steven asks. "P*** off Steven," Barbie replies.
"Let me mansplain this to you…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "OK - which of you jokers broke the build," she asked. "I know we need a better process - but I do wish you wouldn't wait till the last minute to check stuff in." Barbie concentrated for a second, This was the last working build, now lets try merging these new changes in one at a time and running the tests.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm a Steve now, Barbie!" Skipper ejaculated. "Calm the fuck down," Barbie replied.
"I'm a Steve now, Barbie!" Sk…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie starts her debugger and attaches to the likely culprit. Skipper looks over the code and says, "Hey, I think there's a buffer overflow on line 562!"
Barbie tries to email her des…
Barbie tried to focus. 'Another day, another SQL injection flaw' she sighed gently, 'some things never change' she muttered to herself.
Barbie tried to focus. 'Ano…
Parapliers the willow dipped. Rolled roots gnarled like rakers. This hollow hole don’t hold no jokers or fakers. Don’t fall by no jokers or fakers. Puller down to the stirrin’ hay acres. Parapliers pinches uh levy ‘n pulled way thru the toe.
Parapliers the willow dipped.…
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