Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"After I'm done with my black hat blog post, I'm going to hack in Jame's bank account and make him cry like a little bitch; and just in time for the holidays too!"
"After I'm done with my black…
"Brian and Steven are such air-heads, they think they know everything! They think I'm only creating the design ideas, but my game is gonna be the best, and theirs will suck" Barbie says, laughing. "Steven and Brian will probably end up needing my help to make their game work!"
"Brian and Steven are such ai…
Fuck coding. What a pain in the ass it is to write this boring and weird stuff just so that people can express their stupid selves!
Fuck coding. What a pain in t…
"Those JPEGs were private!" cries Skipper. "Can't unsee!" wails Barbie, "Can't unsee!"
"Those JPEGs were private!" c…
"Let me mansplain this to you," says Steven. "I think I know how to put a disc into a disc drive," Barbie says. "But how will your tiny little girl hands manage to get the disc in?" Steven asks. "P*** off Steven," Barbie replies.
"Let me mansplain this to you…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "OK - which of you jokers broke the build," she asked. "I know we need a better process - but I do wish you wouldn't wait till the last minute to check stuff in." Barbie concentrated for a second, This was the last working build, now lets try merging these new changes in one at a time and running the tests.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm a Steve now, Barbie!" Skipper ejaculated. "Calm the fuck down," Barbie replied.
"I'm a Steve now, Barbie!" Sk…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie starts her debugger and attaches to the likely culprit. Skipper looks over the code and says, "Hey, I think there's a buffer overflow on line 562!"
Barbie tries to email her des…
Barbie tried to focus. 'Another day, another SQL injection flaw' she sighed gently, 'some things never change' she muttered to herself.
Barbie tried to focus. 'Ano…
Parapliers the willow dipped. Rolled roots gnarled like rakers. This hollow hole don’t hold no jokers or fakers. Don’t fall by no jokers or fakers. Puller down to the stirrin’ hay acres. Parapliers pinches uh levy ‘n pulled way thru the toe.
Parapliers the willow dipped.…
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen starts blinking. "Don't worry sis!" says Skipper. "Everything is backed up on iCloud, so no worries." "Skipper, you should really use DropBox" Barbie laughs. "As a Nexus owner I'd think you'd value the greater cross-platform and third-party app integration abilities of DropBox vs iCloud, tbh"
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
"Barbie, I know you are more than capable of fixing this on your own, but I'd feel terrible if I didn't offer to help. Is there anything I can do?" asked Steven. "Certainly," replied Barbie, "You can plug the hard drive into the library's computer. Brian, would you be so kind as to get me a cup of coffee?"
"Barbie, I know you are more …
Af
Af
Barbie sits in class, expecting to learn about different sorting algorithms, but this is a surprise! "That crazy bitch is just projecting random binary strings again," Barbie thinks to herself.
Barbie sits in class, expecti…
"Thanks for teaching me those cool CSS tricks Barbie, no offense but you never struck me as someone who's interested in coding." Kevin admitted sheepishly. "That's ok, Kevin, I just hope you keep an open mind going forward, instead of putting people in a box. Stereotypes suck!" Said Barbie. "Yeah they do!" Kevin exclaimed, giving Barbie a high-five.
"Thanks for teaching me those…
"Barbie, every kid in the District was issued a Chromebook" says Ms. Smith, the teacher. "What are you whining about?" "Technology in the classroom without an effective curriculum is just stupid," says Barbie. "What about infrastructure? These walls haven't been painted since the 80's."
"Barbie, every kid in the Dis…
"Barbie, you've been up for 24 hours working on that kernel bug, and you need to sleep!" said Skipper. "Get that thing away from me!" said Barbie, "I just need another espresso."
"Barbie, you've been up for 2…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need to use HTML 5 and some python to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie."Just stand there and look cute, and if you are good, I will let you check out my code"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"That is the coolest game I've ever played," said Stephen, "You're a brilliant developer AND designer Barbie!"
"That is the coolest game I'v…
After the boys stormed off, Barbie finished her code and brought it in to her teacher. "This is extremely impressive." her teacher remarked. "Elegant and streamlined... What do you plan to do with this talent of yours?" Barbie smirked. "Make money, fly to England, and talk Matt Smith and Benedict Cumberpatch into a three-way. What else?"
After the boys stormed off, B…
"I'm only creating the beta version," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's unpaid labor to test it for final release! Maybe one of them will get an internship!"
"I'm only creating the beta v…
"Yes, I am a criminal!" Barbie declared. "My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop me...but you can't stop us all."
"Yes, I am a criminal!" Barbi…
"I am not following either..." "Our job is to solve problems here. State the problem and we will fix it!"
"I am not following either...…
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
This is our world now... the …
more (170 pages)