Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"I love wrecking fools in these BBS door games!" Barbie laughs. "I can't wait to tease Steven and Brian about how they downloaded my fake warez and the DOOM mod that replaced bullets with feelings."
"I love wrecking fools in the…
"My game is kind of like Angry Birds," says Barbie, "but with dicks. Lots and lots of dicks "
"My game is kind of like Angr…
"All your base are belong to us, amirite Barbie?" "Brian, you're an idiot."
"All your base are belong to …
"Implanting NFC chips in our hands was an awesome idea, Barbie" said Steven. "I know" said Barbie. "I just sniffed your Apple Pay credentials!"
"Implanting NFC chips in our …
"Never send a boy to do a woman's job", Barbie proudly announces. "There. I hacked the Gibson for you."
"Never send a boy to do a wom…
"I just can't wait to hack one of those Gibson's, baby" "Shut up, Steven," said Barbie.
"I just can't wait to hack…
"Look, you fucksticks, I'm busy, ok? Just play with your phones until I can get this Emacs mode working."
"Look, you fucksticks, I'm bu…
"Pantu the Dog comes with special gloves!"
"Pantu the Dog comes with spe…
"So far, I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need to code later to turn it into a real game!"
"So far, I'm only creating th…
"Holy shit I am so high right now. This banana is fucking amazing."
"Holy shit I am so high right…
"500 tickets in the Petware bucket? Well time to go on PTO for a month and let Sean handle it."
"500 tickets in the Petware b…
"Dammit, this wool sweater generates static electricity like a persian cat getting road-hauled down a mile of shag carpet. Without a grounding strap, I'm going to fry the motherboard for sure," said Barbie. "No problem," said Steven, "you can discharge by high-fiving me." "Nerdy, but whatever, " said Barbie.
"Dammit, this wool sweater ge…
Let's go hacking some toys!
Let's go hacking some toys!
"Thanks for that pull request, it fixed everything!" exclaims Steven. "Fantastic!" says Barbie. "Even that weird heisenbug?" "Seems like it," says Steven. "it didn't occur anymore. Now show me how to schedule a release build!"
"Thanks for that pull request…
did some ms08 on that shit. rekt
did some ms08 on that shit. r…
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK FIRST" exclaimed Skipper.
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK …
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK FIRST" exclaimed Skipper.
"JESUS BARBIE WILL YOU KNOCK …
Barbie hands Lennart and Kay her systemd source code. "Make sure that device hotplug is broken on kernels before 3.12 - that will really annoy the patriarchy!"
Barbie hands Lennart and Kay …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Blue ‘o’ poured the engineer’s voice. Whstlin’ down low ‘n piped like clacks. By the ol’ scarecrow ‘n pots ‘n pans burn the fireman’s hands till the Kettle leaped fire round the belly ‘o’ The bayou boy bums with sunken gums ‘n pits his strength to the 7th sons down!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"HE POSTED NAKED PICTURES OF ME ON INSTAGRAM! MY LIFE IS RUINED!" cried Skipper. "Oh dear!" exclaimed Barbie. "I thought you knew better than that. But don't worry; because you are underage those pictures are actually child pornography. We can get them taken down and have that asshole sent to jail."
"HE POSTED NAKED PICTURES OF …
Presentation in hand, Barbie approached her co-wokers, Tyrone and Nathan. Although Barbie has only been at the company for two months and her co-workers had been there for years, Barbie felt deep down that she knew so much more than both of them and had no problems telling them what to do. "Ok guys." Barbie commanded, "I need your undivided attention for the next couple hours".
Presentation in hand, Barbie …
I'll create A GOOEY INTERFACE in visual basic to track the killer's IP address.
I'll create A GOOEY INTERFAC…
"Holy fuck, the NSA knows where I am! Listen kid, you never saw me."
"Holy fuck, the NSA knows whe…
You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? ... Well, let me explain the New World Order....
You wanted to know who I am,…
"I'm plotting the feminist takeover of the Linux ecosystem", giggles Barbie. "Once systemd is everywhere, men won't be able to use computers!"
"I'm plotting the feminist ta…
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