Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

My mobile app I developed is already making $5,000 every day in revenue! Soon it will be $20,000! Weeeeeeee!
My mobile app I developed is …
Local Vagrant HIGH FIVE
Local Vagrant HIGH FIVE
Barbie lures the scientist into a sale by using the positive emotional trigger of her puppy playing outside. "Let her rationalize it with data later" Barbie mutters behind her smile.
Barbie lures the scientist in…
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R…
"Thanks guys, but I got the code working. The stuff you sent me gave me a seg fault."
"Thanks guys, but I got the c…
Babby makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Babby raises her hand. "Yes, Babby?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "How is Babby formed?" asks Babby. "How girl get computer engineer?"
Babby makes it to computer cl…
"Actually," offers Steven, "it's about ethics in gaming journalism."
"Actually," offers Steven, "i…
Barbie is reviewing Steven's code and finds a major bug allowing SQL injection. Barbie lets Steven know this. Steven says it all works fine on his machine.
Barbie is reviewing Steven's …
"It's okay Skipper. I pulled his address from the electoral register. He's dead now."
"It's okay Skipper. I pulled …
After class, Steven and Brian follow Barbie into the library talking about ethics in gaming journalism. "Need some help?" asks Brian. Barbie pauses and turns towards them. "I would rather kill myself than have you mansplain tech to me. Fuck off."
After class, Steven and Brian…
"This app is totally free but here's the part where you can use your parent's credit card to buy the 'Super Cute' pack for only $59.99!" "Barbie, that doesn't seem like a very respectable business model." "Who are you, my mother?"
"This app is totally fr…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. "Why are you using Internet Explorer?!" says Skipper. "Here, let's download Chrome." she continues. "Thanks!" says Barbie. "No problem," Skipper replies, "but why are you sending your design to Steven?" Barbie answers, "Well, I don't know how to program." Skipper shakes her head and says, "Here, try codeacademy.com, you don't need those boys!"
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Do you have any idea how hard it is for your entire identity to be relative to someone else? 'Skipper is just like barbie but--' but what? Has brown hair? I put a fucking streak in my hair so I could feel different. Fuck it, this is my fursona. This is my life," Skipper said, eating a healthy, socially-appropriate snack.
"Do you have any idea how har…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?"You cant even install gentoo," Barbie says, laughing,
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas right now," Barbie says, "You can be the first to play when it's a real game!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Debian voted to expel all men from the project!" exclaims Barbie. "Fantastic!" says Lennart. "GNU/Misandry is a huge success. Now let's do the same on LKML!"
"Debian voted to expel all me…
"Ooh... Design and Prototyping done," Barbie says, laughing. "I can pair with either Steven and Brian to turn it into a real game!"
"Ooh... Design and Prototypin…
"Eternal is the Pow'r of Evil, and Infinite in its contagion! The Great Cthulhu yet hath sway o'er the minds and spirits of Men, yea, even tho' He lieth chained and ensorcelled, bound in the fetters of The Elder Sign, His malignant and loathly Mind spreadeth the dark seeds of Madness and Corruption into dreams and Nightmares of sleeping men."
"Eternal is the Pow'r of Evil…
"I don't know how to work this thing," said Steven. "All good," said Barbie. "We just need to hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library computer." "Thanks, Barbie!" says Steven. "I'm such a luddite when it comes to this tech stuff."
"I don't know how to work thi…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Bloody hell can't believe xorg server stopped working third time today. Did you forget to rebuild nvidia drivers using new kernel headers?" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to restart the gdm but nothing happens. "Looks like we're typing one in Mutt, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven "Touch that cord again and I'll end you with this outdated data storage device I'm holding." says Barbie, before returning to the laptop and getting the job done.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Tyrone and Nathan, gritted there teeth and tried to give constructive criticism to Barbie's presentation. "You know Barbie" Tyrone started, "it would help a lot if you focused more on ad targeting requirements and less on pictures of yourself". "I knew you would say that." Barbie replied. She wasn't listening, knowing that it is better to look busy than actually be busy, Barbie was busy searching for overly-complex animated gifs for her presentation and spending a month's salary on a pair of shoes.
Tyrone and Nathan, gritted th…
"After this oil, all we have left is these three oranges. I'm so hungry." "Don't worry Skipper, I'll break into the deathbot programming any day now. Someone will come."
"After this oil, all we have …
"Do you have any idea how hard it is for your entire identity to be relative to someone else? 'Skipper is like Barbie but what? Has brown hair? I put a streak of purple in my hair to feel different. Fuck it, this is my fursona, this is my life," Skipper said.
"Do you have any idea how har…
Brian offers to help Barbie in outwardly polite way, but everyone at the table can hear the condescension in his voice. "That's OK" Barbie replies evenly unsure what lie she can tell Ernest to suggest they move to a different lab.
Brian offers to help Barbie i…
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