Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"It's okay Skipper. I pulled his address from the electoral register. He's dead now."
"It's okay Skipper. I pulled …
After class, Steven and Brian follow Barbie into the library talking about ethics in gaming journalism. "Need some help?" asks Brian. Barbie pauses and turns towards them. "I would rather kill myself than have you mansplain tech to me. Fuck off."
After class, Steven and Brian…
"This app is totally free but here's the part where you can use your parent's credit card to buy the 'Super Cute' pack for only $59.99!" "Barbie, that doesn't seem like a very respectable business model." "Who are you, my mother?"
"This app is totally fr…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. "Why are you using Internet Explorer?!" says Skipper. "Here, let's download Chrome." she continues. "Thanks!" says Barbie. "No problem," Skipper replies, "but why are you sending your design to Steven?" Barbie answers, "Well, I don't know how to program." Skipper shakes her head and says, "Here, try codeacademy.com, you don't need those boys!"
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Do you have any idea how hard it is for your entire identity to be relative to someone else? 'Skipper is just like barbie but--' but what? Has brown hair? I put a fucking streak in my hair so I could feel different. Fuck it, this is my fursona. This is my life," Skipper said, eating a healthy, socially-appropriate snack.
"Do you have any idea how har…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?"You cant even install gentoo," Barbie says, laughing,
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "I'm only creating the design ideas right now," Barbie says, "You can be the first to play when it's a real game!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"Debian voted to expel all men from the project!" exclaims Barbie. "Fantastic!" says Lennart. "GNU/Misandry is a huge success. Now let's do the same on LKML!"
"Debian voted to expel all me…
"Ooh... Design and Prototyping done," Barbie says, laughing. "I can pair with either Steven and Brian to turn it into a real game!"
"Ooh... Design and Prototypin…
"Eternal is the Pow'r of Evil, and Infinite in its contagion! The Great Cthulhu yet hath sway o'er the minds and spirits of Men, yea, even tho' He lieth chained and ensorcelled, bound in the fetters of The Elder Sign, His malignant and loathly Mind spreadeth the dark seeds of Madness and Corruption into dreams and Nightmares of sleeping men."
"Eternal is the Pow'r of Evil…
"I don't know how to work this thing," said Steven. "All good," said Barbie. "We just need to hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library computer." "Thanks, Barbie!" says Steven. "I'm such a luddite when it comes to this tech stuff."
"I don't know how to work thi…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Bloody hell can't believe xorg server stopped working third time today. Did you forget to rebuild nvidia drivers using new kernel headers?" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to restart the gdm but nothing happens. "Looks like we're typing one in Mutt, big sister," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to email her des…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven "Touch that cord again and I'll end you with this outdated data storage device I'm holding." says Barbie, before returning to the laptop and getting the job done.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Tyrone and Nathan, gritted there teeth and tried to give constructive criticism to Barbie's presentation. "You know Barbie" Tyrone started, "it would help a lot if you focused more on ad targeting requirements and less on pictures of yourself". "I knew you would say that." Barbie replied. She wasn't listening, knowing that it is better to look busy than actually be busy, Barbie was busy searching for overly-complex animated gifs for her presentation and spending a month's salary on a pair of shoes.
Tyrone and Nathan, gritted th…
"After this oil, all we have left is these three oranges. I'm so hungry." "Don't worry Skipper, I'll break into the deathbot programming any day now. Someone will come."
"After this oil, all we have …
"Do you have any idea how hard it is for your entire identity to be relative to someone else? 'Skipper is like Barbie but what? Has brown hair? I put a streak of purple in my hair to feel different. Fuck it, this is my fursona, this is my life," Skipper said.
"Do you have any idea how har…
Brian offers to help Barbie in outwardly polite way, but everyone at the table can hear the condescension in his voice. "That's OK" Barbie replies evenly unsure what lie she can tell Ernest to suggest they move to a different lab.
Brian offers to help Barbie i…
After class, Steven and Brian find Barbie in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "No time for football! I need to get back some lost files and repair these laptops."
After class, Steven and Brian…
FROYO LOL
FROYO LOL
"Right now I'm only working on the process optimization," Barbie says, laughing. "Efficiency is important! It will allow me to effectively tackle any debugging issues we may have. Steven and Brian aren't experienced in this kind of coding so it's up to me to make the game more robust!"
"Right now I'm only working o…
"I warned you," screamed Skipper. "I warned you what would happen if you said one more fucking word about node.js. TIME TO DIE PUSSYFACE."
"I warned you," screamed Skip…
'What do you mean you've got no space left?' asked Barbie. 'Delete some crap and let's install Team Fortress 2!' 'No!' cried Skipper. 'Leave my cat photos alone!'
'What do you mean you've got …
"I'm designing the way people will interact with the program visually," Barbie says, laughing. "Then I'll write some bad ass HTML and CSS, and hand it off to Ella to wire up the backend in Rails!"
"I'm designing the way people…
I am going to finish my Greek yogurt before I start work programming a new game. Not only do I have to be smarter and work harder than my male peers to be treated equally at work, I have to stay trim for society to find me valuable outside of work.
I am going to finish my Greek…
"I'm finally done with the design and basic program," Barbie says, laughing. "Steven and Brian are now beta testing to see if it runs smoothly!"
"I'm finally done with the de…
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