Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Hey Barbie, let me hack that for you. I know how you ladies have a hard time with math and logic" scoffed Brian, a noted redditor. "Shoosh, boytoy" said Barbie. "Don't worry your pretty little head about hacking white supremacist capitalist patriarchy, I know you boys have a hard time with that sort of stuff".
"Hey Barbie, let me hack that…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "They're all in the spec I uploaded to GitHub just yesterday!"
"I'm only creating the design…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I need to create a GUI using Visual Basic to see if I can track an IP address. Can you help me?" And that's when Steven and Brian realized Barbie had watched a few too many episodes of CSI.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
Skipper grasped her computer, squealing at the top of her lungs "OH MY GAWWWD GABRIEL IS SO CUTE!!!" Barbie, a closet Noise fanboy, nearly fainted at Skipper's pleb outburst.
Skipper grasped her computer,…
Skipper inconsolable, Barbie meets with her anarchist friends Steve and Brian who are at work plugging cables into an unpowered monitor. "Cut that shit out, upload this virus to one of the teachers workstations and the worm will DOS the grading system. Maybe we will be free for a single day," Barbie barked.
Skipper inconsolable, Barbie …
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Barbie. "Fantastic!" says Steven. "And her other files, as well?" "I've got everything," says Barbie. "Now let's retrieve the files from your hard drive. Both laptops will be as good as new in no time!"
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
"Skipper, I told you to stop having silk road packages delivered to the house!", quipped Barbie "I'm sorry, Sis!", said Skipper "Here, lets get on MLS search and find a house for sale that we can use as a dummy address for your packages. Foreclosures usually work the best" "You're the best big sister EVER!"
"Skipper, I told you to stop …
Barbie makes it to computer ready to learn. When the teacher asks a question, Barbie is the first to raise her hand to answer.
Barbie makes it to computer r…
"Steven," Barbie said, "that's not how this works... That's not how any of this works! The monitor bevel doesn't even have a spot for an RCA jack." "Oh," said Steven, looking sheepish. "Its ok," said Barbie, "I'll teach you. But, in the mean time, could you stop trying to plug in that Dreamcast?"
"Steven," Barbie said, "that'…
When Barbie logs into Skipper's laptop, her username from Reddit shows up. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "You're Violentacrez?" "It's my second account" cries Skipper. "You can't judge me!"
When Barbie logs into Skipper…
"I'm sending the deck new" Barbie said over the Skype conference call, "As you can see on the 2nd page, after sourcing the KPIs we can effectively triple our ARPPU with a synergistic CPI campaign for a x-media buy to monetize our 3, 7 and 14 day retention."
"I'm sending the deck new" Ba…
"Do you see now the pain of reliance on the education system in a world that does not care about your beautiful mind, Skipper?" Barbie said, without remorse. "I wish for the wool to be over my eyes once again!" Skipper cried, clutching her laptop for salvation.
"Do you see now the pain of r…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, go make me a sandwich!" "What? No!" shouts Steven. "Steven, SUDO Make me a sandwich!" "Sure!" says Steven.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
my doctor says i birth computer nice and healthy
my doctor says i birth comput…
At computer class, Barbie presents a novel realtime antialiasing algorithm with motion-based object detection using linear shift invariant filters. Barbie's terrific computer skills result in less jaggies and higher framerates for hardcore gamers across the world!
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Back the fuck up, broseph. I can do this myself! I don't need your 'handy' skills," retorts Barbie.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "Sure! Once Steven and Brian have helped me debug it. They don't have the skills to code the game, but they make great play testers."
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need to read some library books about game making to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "But which of you two jokers broke trunk?" "That was me," mumbles Brian. "I never learned to use git."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"We shouldn't use the library's computers," Barbie says. "What could possibly go wrong?" Steven asks. "The virus could crash the network." "Relax, Barbie," Brian cautions. The system crashes. Irate library patrons groan. "Ughh! There goes my final exam!"
"We shouldn't use the library…
"That better not be Chatroulette!"
"That better not be Chatroule…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "i would like you to show us the three steps to hack into the matrix, please"
Barbie makes it to computer c…
Ms. Smith stares blankly into the void, as a wave of groans and gentle snores echo through the room. "This is a book about computer engineering," she mutters under her breath, "So why the hell am I surrounded by programmers? Shut up about Node.js, and just try to learn two's complement... "
Ms. Smith stares blankly into…
It's only 9am and I've already fixed a bug on yesterday's code, answered a Stack Overflow question and submitted a talk proposal for State of the Browser :)
It's only 9am and I've alread…
"I'm only creating the code," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help to make it look pretty!"
"I'm only creating the code,"…
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