Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Your robot puppy is so sweet," says Skipper. "Can I play your game?" "It's not quite ready yet," Barbie says, laughing. "But you can help me work on it if you want! I'm meeting Steven and Brian later to collaborate on the code - you could come with me!"
"Your robot puppy is so sweet…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I know you guys tried to send me your designs, but you guys forgot to compress the files and they got corrupted.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"So this is what the office printers were doing for five hours before someone found a way to make them stop? Someone is either in big trouble or has already quit."
"So this is what the office p…
Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If you would round the floating point number at the last digit instead of truncating it, wouldn't this reduce the error?" "Good point, Barbie", responds Ms. Smith, "the error would indeed be smaller, however not substantially."
Barbie raises her hand. "Yes,…
Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.
Angelheaded hipsters burning …
"I am your worst nightmare," Barbie says, laughing. "You all paid for this book thinking it was a Barbie you could give to your STEM-loving daughters!"
"I am your worst nightmare," …
"I'm writing the content engine now and also re-normalizing Steve's database, since its such a piece of crap. Also, Brian modified the EDMX file without telling anybody and checked in his code and now nobody can compile. The unit tests are failing and all the images are broken...sheesh, I feel like these guys would not be able to build a "hello world" if I wasn't here. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one here who actually understands the code and the rest of them are a bunch of copy-paste script kiddies...
"I'm writing the content engi…
"Skipper, have you been downloading old Miami Vice videos from Pirate Bay again? There's a giant folder called Tubbs that I didn't put here." asks Barbie. Skipper tries to look busy pouring herself some orange juice.
"Skipper, have you been downl…
"Why would you symlink default.target to reboot.target?" asked Barbie. "That's what rendered your laptops unbootable!" "You told us to when we asked you how to disable the sceensaver," Steven explains. "We just wanted to watch a movie without moving a mouse every five minutes," adds Brian.
"Why would you symlink defaul…
I just started my first freelance project, this guy wants a Facebook clone with Youtube functionality. He's willing to give me stock options as payment! I'm going to be so rich.
I just started my first freel…
"Oh this? It's just yogurt." Barbie paused briefly to take another bite. "I find it's nice to have a refreshing snack after fixing my overpaid boss's awful XSS-laden JavaScript, or else I'd probably snap." A faraway look enters her eyes as she absent-mindedly eats another bite.
"Oh this? It's just yogurt." …
"You can do it yourself, Barbie! Give it a shot!" says Brian
"You can do it yourself, Barb…
Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the her office. "This is the last time I recover your files, you guys have to spend less time on your haircuts and more time on back-ups".
Barbie meets with Steven and …
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "If your computer gets a virus and crashes, how can you retrieve all the files you lost?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
Noob, do you even hack? The serial cable needs to be plugged into the coax converter and into the PTU port of the modem - send a FIN packet with a MTU of 54000 to throw off the HAXLAX IDS/IPD reader!
Noob, do you even hack? The s…
The education system destroyed and all the young minds finally liberated, Skipper quickly caught up on her own learning without the shackles of intellectual tyranny. She made a visualizer that showed weak spots in the welding barbie did for the riot gear. "I created my own detection method using normalized data from thousands of freely available images!". Barbie had victory in her heart and sweet dittany in her blood.
The education system destroye…
"It will go faster if Brian stops surfing porn and checks in his code," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can you run a new build?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer is a piece of crap, but if I overclock it, it might just be able to handle my awesome code."
"It will go faster if Brian s…
“Boy, boys!”, complained Barbie. “How many times have I told you about thread safety?” “But we don't have a pink multicore machine like you,” whined Brian. “Idiot!”, snarled Barbie, “you need synchronised methods on a uniprocessor as well!”
“Boy, boys!”, complained Barb…
Barbie eagerly sits down for her first hardware class. She can't wait to learn about the mysterious inner workings of the computers that she and her friends use every day. “HERRO CRASS,” screeches the teacher like a drowining cat. “DO YOU SEE NUMBERS ON THE SCREEN? THIS RANGUAGE IS CALL BINARY. JERO ONE JERO JERO JERO JERO...” “God dammit,” sighs Barbie.
Barbie eagerly sits down for …
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "Ugh I can't believe that Brian downloaded another corrupted file! I thought I told him to leave my laptop alone?"
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Estoy feliz, descubrí que solo puedo usar el PC para Stalkear las novias de mis ex" dice Barbie. "Excelente! ahora actúa como una mujer bonita normal y solo chatea con hombres por plata" dice Steven. "¿Como tu Steven?" pregunta Barbie. "Exacto, como yo. Vamos y te clavo"
"Estoy feliz, descubrí que so…
Imma fucking break this CD right in yo face boy!
Imma fucking break this CD ri…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie! you fixed my computer. Thank god one of us can use technology - and that I can do my algebraic topology with a pencil!"
The next morning, Barbie give…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
Why am I eating this banana? this dog looks better... #freelucky
Why am I eating this banana? …
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