Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie the A she earned and tells everyone else that their work should be as good as Barbie's! Barbie's terrific computer skills have resulted in pursuing a degree in computer science and hiring those dicks, Steven and Brian, as low level mail room hacks just so she can fire them a week later. Great job, Barbie!
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Upon writing beautiful malware using homomorphic encryption that defeats all forms of dynamic and static analysis as well as symbolic execution, Barbie deletes her code, "That was too easy" and enjoys some Ice Cream listening to Norwegian Black Metal.
Upon writing beautiful malwar…
"Brian and Stephen came up with the design ideas and now they need my help to turn it into a real game!" said Barbie.
"Brian and Stephen came up wi…
Barbie was out the night before working at her retail job, to pay for her education. She didnt see Skipper again until the next morning, Barbie showed Skipper that her laptop worked again and the files had been restored! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. Skipper gives Barbie a big hug. " I knew you could fix it!"
Barbie was out the night befo…
"They suggested I accept a buy-out or they'd knock-off of my game as a freebie on their site," Barbie says, laughing. "But they've been mired in a DDOS for over a month now." Growing more serious, "Expect us."
"They suggested I accept a bu…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "This fucking piece of shit.... I can't even today," says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper, "Do you even Norton?"
Barbie tries to email her des…
I will install now all games.
I will install now all games.
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Never mind" says Barbie. "I'm almost done."
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Thanks for teaching me to write my name in pretty pink ASCII -- if it weren't pink, I'd be too intimidated to read it!" said Barbie, "also, I'm worried about that kid in the striped polo, he looks like something is biting his penis."
"Thanks for teaching me to wr…
Could you two jackholes stop taking selfies for two seconds and help me? I already debugged the collision system, but your spaghetti code is so horrendous, I can't make heads or tails of it.
Could you two jackholes stop …
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it's a fresh new GNU/Linux install. "I'm running free software now!" cries Skipper. "You are just too cool, Barbie!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug.
The next morning, Barbie give…
You fucking wot m8? I'll have you know I have more swag than you and I can hack you with my botnet and DDoS ur mum until she cums.
You fucking wot m8? I'll have…
"upon writing malware that uses homomorphic encryption and resisting all forms of dynamic and static analysis as well as symbolic execution" Barbie deletes the code and exclaims "that was too easy, everyone can do this"
"upon writing malware that us…
Barbie receives Steven's part of the project, but Steven did a half-ass job so now Barbie has to redo all of Steven's work. Barbie lets out a sigh of frustration. "What's wrong, big sister?" Skipper asks. "Nothing, except for men are idiots and I'm constantly having to redo their work. I hate group projects." said Barbie.
Barbie receives Steven's part…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up DDOSing school network.
After class, Barbie meets wit…
At computer class, Barbie presents the trojan she designed. Ms. Smith is so shocked she doesn't know what to say. Barbie's horrific antisocial behavior ruined the day for millions! "I created a rootkit that displays this image of an annoying dog and prevents the dumbass that installed it from using the computer until they pay me the ransom!" says Barbie happily.
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Some people think that designing a game isn't as important as writing the code for it," Barbie says, laughing. "Isn't that silly? All the parts of making a game are equally important! We all have ways we can help create something amazing!"
"Some people think that desig…
Aha, that's how I got the virus Barbie exclaimed. The hackers used MS14-068: Vulnerability in Kerberos could allow elevation of privilege to install malware on my laptop.
Aha, that's how I got the vir…
"I'm glad you've finally decided to run Linux." says Barbie. "Thanks for helping me set-up the wifi!" says Steven. "Now let's get you set up with all graphics and 3D animation programs you'll need." says Barbie.
"I'm glad you've finally deci…
"Gracias hermana, ahora me seguiré desnudando para todos mis amigos en Skype" dice Skypper. "No es nada, ahora mira todo lo que te instalé: unas barras de herramientas para tu navegador, unos limpiadores de registro, y 15 antivirus que todos los días piden la tarjeta de crédito" Dijo Barbie
"Gracias hermana, ahora me se…
Barbie tries to read Steven's design, but realizes he is using an older version of the Design tool. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to modify the bytes in a hex viewer, both in binary mode and in text mode, in an attempt to get them to comply with her newer version of the software but nothing happens. "Looks like they need to update their software," says Skipper.
Barbie tries to read Steven's…
"Your robot puppy is badass," says Skipper. "Did you program and build it yourself?" "Fuck yeah I did," Barbie says, laughing, "Steven's and Brian are worthless."
"Your robot puppy is badass,"…
"I'm not much of a designer, I'm a programmer" Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need Steven's and Brian's help design my ideas so I could turn it into a real game!"
"I'm not much of a designer, …
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "I fixed your computers again. Try to remember to install antivirus software this time."
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll need a good BM before I turn it into a real game!"
"I'm only creating the design…
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