Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"Thanks for explaining why GOTOs are bad programming practice, big sister," said Skipper. "No problem," said Barbie. "Sisters don't let sisters write spaghetti code."
"Thanks for explaining why GO…
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's MacBook, the screen turns blue. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "You must have a virus too!" "I forgot to back up my Facebook profile!" cries Skipper. "And my Instagram account! My whole LIFE is gone!"
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
Can you guys get the fuck out of here. Can't you see I'm busy? I'm literally using three computers at once.
Can you guys get the fuck out…
get your jizz hands off my computer!
get your jizz hands off my co…
"Listen, my app is great, I'm basically the next Zuckerburg" said the Brogrammer. "Oh, so you're going to try and exploit young women's digital lives to establish an invasive and manipulative digital empire?" said Barbie. "Actually," he said, "It's an app to split beer costs for friends!!" Barbie sighed.
"Listen, my app is great, I'm…
"I'm just implementing my flawed encryption and incorporating it on the NSA's network," laughs Barbie. I'll need Steven and Brian to be the fall-guys when this shit blows wide open.
"I'm just implementing my fla…
Go fuck yourself Barbie!
Go fuck yourself Barbie!
dohwfiwqfb qf
dohwfiwqfb qf
"Hey Skipper did you want me to show you how to line a CSS..." Barbie cut her sentance short as she saw Skippers screen "Sis, where you...?" "Don't judge me!" Skipper cried as she pulled the laptop close, as if to shield it from Barbie "I just want Cas and Dean to be happy!" "Easy, sis!" Barbie soothed "I wasn't juding your fan fiction, I was just surpised you used ff.net, all the good stuff in on Archive of Our Own. Now, how about that CSS?"
"Hey Skipper did you want me …
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen starts blinking. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "The virus must be on the flash drive!" "I forgot to back up my homework assignment!" cries Skipper. "And all my music files are lost, too!" "It'll be alright, Sis" Barbie says, sitting on the bed beside Skipper. "Anyway, now seems like a good time to talk to you about STDs."
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I need your help. I'm multi-coding. Could you review my code as I write it? This will ensure fewer bugs in our game. Don't laugh you guys! This is called pair programming!
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I know I'm supposed to be working, but I think I'll just surf social media instead!"
"I know I'm supposed to be wo…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up crashing my laptop--and Skipper's, too! I need to get back the lost files and repair both of our laptops. "But no problem. It only takes me an hour or two. So be so kind and get me some coffee, okay?"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Cathryn, I invoked the AWK file from within BASH and even and printed the contents of the array to screen using the appropriate looping structure but I couldn't have done it without your help!" Said Rosie."that's no problem!" Said Cathryn "is there anything else I can help you with?" "Umm just one thing" said Rosie "Can I get my coursework mark within a month this time? Thanks C, you're the best!"
"Cathryn, I invoked the AWK f…
"Get out of here, boys," said Barbie. "I researched on my home computer and found a forum where I could learn code from other smart people. They told me I should learn these things for myself so I can do them again in the future and help others! Besides: boys are dumb."
"Get out of here, boys," said…
Barbie was afraid of this. The AI she'd created had turned monstrous, sociopathic. Though she knew she had to destroy it, it had wormed its way into Skipper's heart, and now Barbie had two battles to fight.
Barbie was afraid of this. Th…
"Me cago en dios, la puta virgen de mierda que lo parió, este computador se volvió a dañar. debo mandarlo a arreglar con Stephen pero no tengo dinero... mmmm... bueno, que me lo arregle por Snapchats de mis tetas y mi coño :D " Dijo Barbie
"Me cago en dios, la puta vir…
"Using a three-pass algorithm like this means that you don't have to store off depth maps and use depth comparison. As a trade-off, however, you have to deal with large amounts of occlusion queries," Barbie explained to Stephen and Ryan.
"Using a three-pass algorithm…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie the A she earned and tells everyone else that their work should be as good as Barbie's! Barbie's terrific computer skills have resulted in pursuing a degree in computer science and hiring those dicks, Steven and Brian, as low level mail room hacks just so she can fire them a week later. Great job, Barbie!
At computer class, Barbie pre…
Upon writing beautiful malware using homomorphic encryption that defeats all forms of dynamic and static analysis as well as symbolic execution, Barbie deletes her code, "That was too easy" and enjoys some Ice Cream listening to Norwegian Black Metal.
Upon writing beautiful malwar…
"Brian and Stephen came up with the design ideas and now they need my help to turn it into a real game!" said Barbie.
"Brian and Stephen came up wi…
Barbie was out the night before working at her retail job, to pay for her education. She didnt see Skipper again until the next morning, Barbie showed Skipper that her laptop worked again and the files had been restored! "My lost assignment!" cries Skipper. Skipper gives Barbie a big hug. " I knew you could fix it!"
Barbie was out the night befo…
"They suggested I accept a buy-out or they'd knock-off of my game as a freebie on their site," Barbie says, laughing. "But they've been mired in a DDOS for over a month now." Growing more serious, "Expect us."
"They suggested I accept a bu…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "This fucking piece of shit.... I can't even today," says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Looks like you've got a virus, big sister," says Skipper, "Do you even Norton?"
Barbie tries to email her des…
I will install now all games.
I will install now all games.
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