Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

"So you're saying once you're done this program you can really 3D print a dog?" Skipper licked her lips, imagining the possibilities. She was so hungry.
"So you're saying once you're…
Barbie makes it to computer class just before the bell rings. As soon as class begins, Barbie raises her hand. "Yes, Barbie?" asks Ms. Smith, the teacher. "What if Penny met a dinosaur?" asks Barbie.
Barbie makes it to computer c…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "No worries" says Barbie. "I am more than capable of completing simple computer tasks" "Ok" says Steven, respecting Barbie's wishes.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie sat down to her laptop to pull down Skipper's code from Github, but let out a shriek after the clone was finished "WTF Skipper?" cried Barbie. "What, what happened?" said Skipper, pouring her fourth glass of Soylent this morning. "First, you're using a fucking MongoDB backend? Do you like to see your data suffer?" "Fuck off, Barbie, this is 2014. Everyone knows schemas are bullshit," replied Skipper, wiping the soylent froth off her mouth. "Whatever. Second, why did you use an original BSD license? Do you even give a shit about your freedoms?"
Barbie sat down to her laptop…
"Someone is wrong on the Internet!" said Barbie as she furiously typed away..
"Someone is wrong on the Inte…
"A CD?" Barbie observed. "What do you think this is Brian? The fucking 90s? What are you going to hand me next? A minidisc?" Brian slowly put the minidisc back in his pocket.
"A CD?" Barbie observed. "Wha…
At computer class, Barbie presents the game she designed. "It looks like a game, but its main purpose is to add the computer to my Bitcoin-mining Botnet"", Barbie explains. Ms. Smith is so impressed that she gives Barbie extra credit!
At computer class, Barbie pre…
"Thanks for explaining why GOTOs are bad programming practice, big sister," said Skipper. "No problem," said Barbie. "Sisters don't let sisters write spaghetti code."
"Thanks for explaining why GO…
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's MacBook, the screen turns blue. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "You must have a virus too!" "I forgot to back up my Facebook profile!" cries Skipper. "And my Instagram account! My whole LIFE is gone!"
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
Can you guys get the fuck out of here. Can't you see I'm busy? I'm literally using three computers at once.
Can you guys get the fuck out…
get your jizz hands off my computer!
get your jizz hands off my co…
"Listen, my app is great, I'm basically the next Zuckerburg" said the Brogrammer. "Oh, so you're going to try and exploit young women's digital lives to establish an invasive and manipulative digital empire?" said Barbie. "Actually," he said, "It's an app to split beer costs for friends!!" Barbie sighed.
"Listen, my app is great, I'm…
"I'm just implementing my flawed encryption and incorporating it on the NSA's network," laughs Barbie. I'll need Steven and Brian to be the fall-guys when this shit blows wide open.
"I'm just implementing my fla…
Go fuck yourself Barbie!
Go fuck yourself Barbie!
dohwfiwqfb qf
dohwfiwqfb qf
"Hey Skipper did you want me to show you how to line a CSS..." Barbie cut her sentance short as she saw Skippers screen "Sis, where you...?" "Don't judge me!" Skipper cried as she pulled the laptop close, as if to shield it from Barbie "I just want Cas and Dean to be happy!" "Easy, sis!" Barbie soothed "I wasn't juding your fan fiction, I was just surpised you used ff.net, all the good stuff in on Archive of Our Own. Now, how about that CSS?"
"Hey Skipper did you want me …
When Barbie puts her flash drive into Skipper's laptop, the screen starts blinking. "Oh no!" says Barbie. "The virus must be on the flash drive!" "I forgot to back up my homework assignment!" cries Skipper. "And all my music files are lost, too!" "It'll be alright, Sis" Barbie says, sitting on the bed beside Skipper. "Anyway, now seems like a good time to talk to you about STDs."
When Barbie puts her flash dr…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I need your help. I'm multi-coding. Could you review my code as I write it? This will ensure fewer bugs in our game. Don't laugh you guys! This is called pair programming!
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"I know I'm supposed to be working, but I think I'll just surf social media instead!"
"I know I'm supposed to be wo…
After class, Barbie meets with Steven and Brian in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. I tried to send you my designs, but I ended up crashing my laptop--and Skipper's, too! I need to get back the lost files and repair both of our laptops. "But no problem. It only takes me an hour or two. So be so kind and get me some coffee, okay?"
After class, Barbie meets wit…
"Cathryn, I invoked the AWK file from within BASH and even and printed the contents of the array to screen using the appropriate looping structure but I couldn't have done it without your help!" Said Rosie."that's no problem!" Said Cathryn "is there anything else I can help you with?" "Umm just one thing" said Rosie "Can I get my coursework mark within a month this time? Thanks C, you're the best!"
"Cathryn, I invoked the AWK f…
"Get out of here, boys," said Barbie. "I researched on my home computer and found a forum where I could learn code from other smart people. They told me I should learn these things for myself so I can do them again in the future and help others! Besides: boys are dumb."
"Get out of here, boys," said…
Barbie was afraid of this. The AI she'd created had turned monstrous, sociopathic. Though she knew she had to destroy it, it had wormed its way into Skipper's heart, and now Barbie had two battles to fight.
Barbie was afraid of this. Th…
"Me cago en dios, la puta virgen de mierda que lo parió, este computador se volvió a dañar. debo mandarlo a arreglar con Stephen pero no tengo dinero... mmmm... bueno, que me lo arregle por Snapchats de mis tetas y mi coño :D " Dijo Barbie
"Me cago en dios, la puta vir…
"Using a three-pass algorithm like this means that you don't have to store off depth maps and use depth comparison. As a trade-off, however, you have to deal with large amounts of occlusion queries," Barbie explained to Stephen and Ryan.
"Using a three-pass algorithm…
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