User-Submitted Improvements

Hey kids, lets drop acid and form a laptop orchestra!
Hey kids, lets drop acid and …
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Barbie is thinking up new ways to complain about the patriarchy to like minded intellectuals on Tumblr. Fortunately for her, she's a smokin' hot babe so people already give her what she wants, unlike the land whales on her favourite internet forum.
Barbie is thinking up new way…
No puedo, es imposible, tu programador anterior era un n00b, me tardo menos hacerlo todo desde cero que entender su código.
No puedo, es imposible, tu pr…
Barbie's favorite activity while eating a healthy breakfast is doxxing SJWs on 8chan. "Actually, it's about ethics in games journalism," posted Barbie as she ate her nonfat yogurt.
Barbie's favorite activity wh…
"Hey Barbie, the game you are designing looks amazing! Can you tell me more about it?" says Skipper.  "Oh sure, Skipper! I'm trying my skills at making a role play game." Barbie says, laughing, "I'll need to work really hard to get all the details right!"
"Hey Barbie, the game you are…
"I'm creating the code to lay down the game play and character customizations tonight! Tomorrow I'm going to ask my friends to play it and see if there are any glitches that I need to fix in the demo before I present it to the whole class."
"I'm creating the code to lay…
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Great!" says Barbie. "Steven, can churn Skipper's hard drive through Recuva?" "Sure!" says Steven. "Maybe we'll find some nude selfies to dump on anonymous imageboards!"
"It will go faster if Brian a…
Barbie shows off, that she can code in binary. Ms Smith is well impressed!
Barbie shows off, that she ca…
"Hey, Barbie- let me help connect these machines!"
"Steven, what do you think you're doing?  You're trying to unplug the monitor, which really won't help connect either laptop to the library computer."
"Barbie, look what I found on the pink laptop- the BIOS!"
"Brian, a virus is a relatively easy fix.  If you mess with the BIOS, I will end you."
"Hey, Barbie- let me help con…
DON'T buy a parrot figuring that it will be a fun surprise for me. To acquire a parrot is a major decision: it is likely to outlive you. If you don't know how to treat the parrot, it could be emotionally scarred and spend many decades feeling frightened and unhappy. If you buy a captured wild parrot, you will promote a cruel and devastating practice, and the parrot will be emotionally scarred before you get it.
DON'T buy a parrot figuring t…
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"I'm creating all the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I won't need Steven's and Brian's help to turn it into a real game!"
"I'm creating all the design …
"It will go faster if Brian and I help," offers Steven. "Thanks, Steven! You could really help by teaching me how to take care of this, so I will know what to do if it ever happens again."  "Steven, would you show Barbie how to hook Skipper's hard drive up to the library's computer?" "Sure!" says Steven. "The library computer has excellent security software to protect it.
"It will go faster if Brian a…
"Hey, Barbie- let me help connect these machines!"
"Steven, what do you think you're doing?  You're trying to unplug the monitor, which really won't help connect either laptop to the library computer."
"Barbie, look what I found on the pink laptop- the BIOS!"
"Brian, a virus is a relatively easy fix.  If you mess with the BIOS, I will end you."
"Hey, Barbie- let me help con…
"Steven, did you see the shadow under the table?" asked Barbie. "It's totally inconsistent with the shadow of the bookcase ..." "Barbie, you worry too much!" says Steven. "Did you notice Brian's pink laptop?! It's so 2013!"
"Steven, did you see the shad…
Barbie opened TFS and groaned. 100 work items! "Best get started now," she said, and dug in.

Too late! Senior devs Brian and Steven showed up outside her office. "Let's talk about last night's episode of Gotham!" said Steven.

Three hours later, they left.
Barbie opened TFS and groaned…
"I'm sorry Barbie, but you only have 2 weeks to live."
"I'm sorry Barbie, but you on…
"Your text editor is a relic!" says Barbie, "Use Sublime Text already."

"Emacs till I die!" screams Skipper as she swings a pillowcase full of doorknobs.
"Your text editor is a relic!…
"Mint ice cream while I move this machine to the new build of Linux Mint -- seems right somehow," smiled Barbie.
"Mint ice cream while I move …
"WHAT THE WHAT!  WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING AT!" exclaimed Barbie.
"NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!" Screamed Skipper.  Barbie slowly backed away, feeling both scared of her sister, and relieved that while her fetishes are weird, they were no were close to as fucked as Skipper's.
"WHAT THE WHAT! WHAT WERE YO…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "Of course it works," snarks Barbie. "Also, I found your Hunger Games fanfic. Protip: stay in school, kid, because you're a crap writer."
The next morning, Barbie give…
"Hey, Barbie- let me help connect these machines!"
"Steven, what do you think you're doing?  You're trying to unplug the monitor, which really won't help connect either laptop to the library computer."
"Barbie, look what I found on the pink laptop- the BIOS!"
"Brian, a virus is a relatively easy fix.  If you mess with the BIOS, I will end you."
"Hey, Barbie- let me help con…
"I'm only correcting Seve´s code," Barbie says, concerned. ¨He is a brilliant young man but I still have a lot to teach him¨
"I'm only correcting Seve´s c…
"And this is how you circumvent the sad panda to get on exhentai."
"And this is how you circumve…

more (171 pages)