Feminist Hacker Barbie

User-Submitted Improvements

Due to the horribly underfunded state of our public schools, this computer is running Windows XP. I think we're about to completely wreck it.
Due to the horribly underfund…
im g0nn4 h4xx0r u 1v1 me IRL fukken kido ur ip is 420.350.19.45 lmao
im g0nn4 h4xx0r u 1v1 me IRL …
Barbie tries to get her sister to let go of her laptop computer that needs to be given back to her sister's school.
Barbie tries to get her siste…
SCUM: dominant, secure, self-confident, nasty, violent, selfish, independent, proud, thrill-seeking, free-wheeling, arrogant females, who consider themselves fit to rule the universe, who have free-wheeled to the limits of this "society" and are ready to wheel on to something far beyond what it has to offer.
SCUM: dominant, secure, self-…
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Plz can I haz ur laptop for my WOW raid says barbie. OMG no says skipper I'm in the middle of 18 hour hack session I need to sort these binary trees or I'll never sleep again!
Plz can I haz ur laptop for m…
mcdonalds
mcdonalds
I'll teach Ari to take all the female attention from the group!
I'll teach Ari to take all th…
"I'm only creating the design ideas," Barbie says, laughing. "I'll get around to writing the code after I finish this suspiciously large tub of froyo."
"I'm only creating the design…
Barbie demoed her slimmed down microkernel running an optimized sorting algorithm that runs in $O(N^{1/2})$ time. Brian gets all cheerless as Steven unplugs his FPGA eval kit convinced that Barbie will receive the Turing award for their homework assignment.
Barbie demoed her slimmed dow…
After class, Steven and Brian find Barbie in the library. "Hi, guys," says Barbie. "Wish I could hang out, but I have to finish up this week's programming assignment for the online Python course I'm taking. Coding isn't nearly as difficult as people make it out to be, and it's such a great skill to have!"
After class, Steven and Brian…
At the daily project meeting, Barbie presents the analysis and detailed design plan for the new game. Ms. Smith the finance manager is so impressed that the project is within budget, that she approves the aquisition of 2 new QA testers! Barbie's terrific broadbased knowledge of multiple platforms and computer services combined with her extensive project management experience has saved the day! "I guess I'll be getting that 0.5% raise at the end of the year!" says Barbie happily.
At the daily project meeting,…
"It's a UNIX system! I know this!" said Barbie, "I just don't understand why it uses the Fsn GUI from SGI. It's clunky and incomplete!" "It's okay," said Skipper, taking advantage of the buffet, "As long as raptors can't open doors, you have time to work on this."
"It's a UNIX system! I know t…
Barbie finds that her ex boyfriend posted noodz of her online. Haha. Take that bitch.
Barbie finds that her ex boyf…
"I've got Skipper's assignment from the hard drive!" exclaims Steven. "You want a medal, or a cookie?" says Barbie with a fake high-five. "Pretty sure I could have stayed at home and Googled how to do this without your fucking sexist bullshit."
"I've got Skipper's assignmen…
"I'm only making sammiches," says Barbie. "Steve and Brian are actually making a real game."
"I'm only making sammiches," …
"I just need to compile a few more USB addresses before I can hack into the mainframe with my encrypted optical surge protector," grunted Barbie.
"I just need to compile a few…
The next morning, Barbie gives her sister a big surprise. Skipper turns on her laptop--and it works! "Thank goodness you found my lost assignment!" cries Skipper. "Best Buy was going to charge me $200 for the repair. Now I can afford the leather jacket I wanted!" Skipper gives Barbie a big hug. "Could I get you a Starbucks or something?"
The next morning, Barbie give…
"You see, Skipper? this is why you shouldn't open attachments you weren't expecting to receive!" Barbie explained exasperatingly. Skipper nodded, "give up on it. You've been trying to recover that laptop for ages." Barbie begrudgingly agreed, deciding it was best to format the computer and re-install the OS. She couldn't afford the recovery software that would make this job easier.
"You see, Skipper? this is wh…
Brian and Steven find Barbie in her office, "Hey Barbie - you want to grab a drink?" Barbie sighs at them, "Sorry guys, I can't. Now that I got back collaborator comments, I have to finish and submit a paper...then work on this job application I'm putting together, where I'd like to cite the paper as submitted. Thanks, though." They look at each other and shrug. As they walk out of the room, Brian says, "Well, good luck. I haven't even thought about job applications this year, so you're doing better than me!" Steven teases him that his position ends in a few months as they walk down the hallway.
Brian and Steven find Barbie …
Barbie tries to email Steven to crow about how her game execution is going to beat the crap out of his, but then her screen starts blinking. "Oh crap!" says Barbie. Have Steven and Brian been looking at porn on your computer again? Well, thank goodness I've designed a failproof security suite AND backed up everything to the cloud. We'll have you back online in no time!'
Barbie tries to email Steven…
probably not
probably not
"Underneath OS-X it's running Unix," explained Barbie. "I just opened a console window, and found Skipper's files where they'd been hidden in a /var/tmp folder." "Cool," replied Steven, "that's organized like the Linux distro my big brother runs."
"Underneath OS-X it's running…
Barbie tries to email her design to Steven, but suddenly her screen starts blinking. "That's weird!" says Barbie. Barbie and Skipper try to reboot the computer but nothing happens. "Been torrenting shit again, sis?" says Skipper. "I told you after last time that you gotta get some fucking antispyware shit."
Barbie tries to email her des…
"Be careful!" warns Mrs Smith, "You hired me as an end to end application development consultant and I have to warn you that your chosen production life cycle is inadequate for a project so complex."
"Be careful!" warns Mrs Smith…
more (171 pages)